# Jerry the Tech God is not a tech god **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 19, 2008, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-the-tech-god-is-not-a-tech-god/441897 "2008-03-19T03:30:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Klaatu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Klaatu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Klaatu)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-the-tech-god-is-not-a-tech-god/441897/1 "2008-03-19T03:30:05Z")
This board has been fucked up for the 8 years I have been here. Dozens of other boards, many with thousands more members and way more activity have smoothly run fine for all these years with the same fucking software. Yes, he is probably working with crap hardware and software that is hardly ever updated, but he seems lost on some of the DB issues. Which is fine, because he probably doesn’t make shit off those cheap fucks anyway. Over the years, many members, a lot of them DB gurus who would run rings around Jerry, have made suggestion after suggestion, which have been continually ignored. I have no bitch with the mods/admins, as they don’t know shit either. This board is a piece of shit performance-wise, and I can well understand why people are ready to drop it, as am I. Now for the FreakFeely type meltdown: You bunch of… Have a good life people. Remember, an internet message board, even one as priceless as the Dope, is just a diversion in cyberspace, don’t let the net take over your life. Last post. EOF ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Dave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/46a35a/32.png) [@Great\_Dave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Dave)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-the-tech-god-is-not-a-tech-god/441897/2 "2008-03-19T03:35:44Z")
EOF? Elves of Fairyland? Elvis of Fremont? Excruciating Overwrought Flipoff? ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-the-tech-god-is-not-a-tech-god/441897/3 "2008-03-19T03:36:23Z")
I remember you, dude. Sorry to see you go. ---
**Author:** ![Zakalwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zakalwe/32/270_2.png) [@Zakalwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zakalwe)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-the-tech-god-is-not-a-tech-god/441897/4 "2008-03-19T03:38:26Z")
[QUOTE=Great Dave] EOF? Elves of Fairyland? Elvis of Fremont? Excruciating Overwrought Flipoff? [/QUOTE] Assuming this isn’t a whoosh. **E** nd **O** f **F** ile ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-the-tech-god-is-not-a-tech-god/441897/5 "2008-03-19T03:41:36Z")
Its just a meaningless message board. When it doesn’t work, I surf porn, or ebay or play hearts. No biggie. Who is Jerry? I hope its not my arch-nemisis down the street Jerry. ---
**Author:** ![fierra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58956e/32.png) [@fierra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fierra)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-the-tech-god-is-not-a-tech-god/441897/6 "2008-03-19T03:42:59Z")
I’ll be sorry to see you go - I rarely post anymore, but I remember you. ---
**Author:** ![Rysto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecccb3/32.png) [@Rysto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysto)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-the-tech-god-is-not-a-tech-god/441897/7 "2008-03-19T03:49:49Z")
Speaking as somebody who’s done web development, I can’t get on board with this rant. The DB corruption issues are clearly a software problem. Databases don’t corrupt themselves. Now, it could be that the corruption only happens when the software is under load, but the fact remains that it’s the software’s job to deal with that kind of thing. Corrupting the DB is just totally unacceptable, and there’s little Jerry can do about this. Actually, I think that I just figured out how the DB gets corrupted: the software first inserts a row in the “threads” table, and if that succeeds, inserts the OP in the “posts” table. Trouble is, that if the DB’s under load the “insert the OP in the ‘posts’ table” step might not happen. The correct solution would be to use a transaction, which would mean that either both steps happen or neither do. But Jerry doesn’t write the software, so this isn’t his fault. If you’re speaking about the performance problems, it’s still the problems of the software developers. If I buy a software package that uses a database(especially one that specifies using a MySQL database like vBulletin does), I damn well expect the software to configure the database to keep performance at an acceptable level. I work for a company that uses databases heavily, and you better believe that one of the DB group’s main worries is performance. We certainly don’t expect each and every one of our customers to hire a DBA who will analyze the performance of the database and figure out how to optimize things. Now, it could be that the new version of the software fixes these issues, but then the problem is with whoever’s in charge of the budget. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-the-tech-god-is-not-a-tech-god/441897/8 "2008-03-19T03:54:17Z")
Heretic! Burn him! Strike down the UnBeleiver! ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-the-tech-god-is-not-a-tech-god/441897/9 "2008-03-19T04:34:44Z")
Maybe Jerry is actually a Tech Sprite. Tech Satyr? ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-the-tech-god-is-not-a-tech-god/441897/10 "2008-03-19T04:38:14Z")
[QUOTE=Gatopescado] Its just a meaningless message board. When it doesn’t work, I surf porn, or ebay or play hearts. No biggie. Who is Jerry? I hope its not my arch-nemisis down the street Jerry. [/QUOTE] “Jerry.” “Newman.” ---
**Author:** ![Slacker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@Slacker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slacker)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-the-tech-god-is-not-a-tech-god/441897/11 "2008-03-19T05:07:02Z")
[QUOTE=Rysto] Speaking as somebody who’s done web development, I can’t get on board with this rant. The DB corruption issues are clearly a software problem. Databases don’t corrupt themselves. Now, it could be that the corruption only happens when the software is under load, but the fact remains that it’s the software’s job to deal with that kind of thing. Corrupting the DB is just totally unacceptable, and there’s little Jerry can do about this. Actually, I think that I just figured out how the DB gets corrupted: the software first inserts a row in the “threads” table, and if that succeeds, inserts the OP in the “posts” table. Trouble is, that if the DB’s under load the “insert the OP in the ‘posts’ table” step might not happen. The correct solution would be to use a transaction, which would mean that either both steps happen or neither do. But Jerry doesn’t write the software, so this isn’t his fault. [/QUOTE] I don’t mean to be sarcastic, but don’t you think the people who have done this for a living at vBulletin for years and years know what they’re doing? This isn’t some kid-in-the-basement app. The software works on thousands of sites without a hitch. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-the-tech-god-is-not-a-tech-god/441897/12 "2008-03-19T05:08:09Z")
I don’t get it. I guess maybe the board is down a few hours a month, and slow for another few hours a month. How incredibly unacceptable is this? It doesn’t seem like so big a deal. -FrL- ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-the-tech-god-is-not-a-tech-god/441897/13 "2008-03-19T05:11:56Z")
[QUOTE=Frylock] I don’t get it. I guess maybe the board is down a few hours a month, and slow for another few hours a month. How incredibly unacceptable is this? It doesn’t seem like so big a deal. -FrL- [/QUOTE] I think for me it has to with the fact that I am a member of several other very large boards that use vB, that never go down, always run smoothly with more people on them, and that are FREE. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-the-tech-god-is-not-a-tech-god/441897/14 "2008-03-19T05:17:14Z")
[QUOTE=Gatopescado] Who is Jerry? I hope its not my arch-nemisis down the street Jerry. [/QUOTE] jdavis ---
**Author:** ![Slacker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@Slacker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slacker)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-the-tech-god-is-not-a-tech-god/441897/15 "2008-03-19T05:27:35Z")
[QUOTE=Frylock] I don’t get it. I guess maybe the board is down a few hours a month, and slow for another few hours a month. How incredibly unacceptable is this? It doesn’t seem like so big a deal. -FrL- [/QUOTE] It’s not the occasional downtime (which I agree is not outrageous). It’s: - The frequent slowdowns/timeouts - The incredible shrinking “massive database” as posts are culled to keep the database from reaching some size at which problems apparently are arising. - The promise that it’ll get better, which is not happening - The manipulation then removal of the one feature a lot of people are paying for (first we can only search once every two minutes, now we can’t search at all) ---
**Author:** ![Rysto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecccb3/32.png) [@Rysto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysto)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-the-tech-god-is-not-a-tech-god/441897/16 "2008-03-19T05:30:14Z")
[QUOTE=Slacker] I don’t mean to be sarcastic, but don’t you think the people who have done this for a living at vBulletin for years and years know what they’re doing? This isn’t some kid-in-the-basement app. The software works on thousands of sites without a hitch. [/QUOTE] I’m not saying that the problem can’t be solved by a server and software upgrade. I’m saying that, whatever the problem is, it’s not Jerry’s fault. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-the-tech-god-is-not-a-tech-god/441897/17 "2008-03-19T05:35:11Z")
[QUOTE=Ogre] I think for me it has to with the fact that I am a member of several other very large boards that use vB, that never go down, always run smoothly with more people on them, and that are FREE. [/QUOTE] What boards are they? -Kris ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-the-tech-god-is-not-a-tech-god/441897/18 "2008-03-19T05:48:15Z")
[QUOTE=Frylock] What boards are they? -Kris [/QUOTE] Lessee, JREF for one. Rare that they have server issues. Harmony Central. This one has 159,000 members, and rarely anything more than a 5-minute server burp. [Fender.com](http://Fender.com) That enough, or was there a point? ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-the-tech-god-is-not-a-tech-god/441897/19 "2008-03-19T06:24:13Z")
[QUOTE=Ogre] Lessee, JREF for one. Rare that they have server issues. Harmony Central. This one has 159,000 members, and rarely anything more than a 5-minute server burp. [Fender.com](http://Fender.com) That enough, or was there a point? [/QUOTE] No point, that’s enough. I want to go visit. -FrL- ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-the-tech-god-is-not-a-tech-god/441897/20 "2008-03-19T07:14:21Z")
[QUOTE=Frylock] What boards are they? -Kris [/QUOTE] Go to Opal’s board: [The Fabulous Forums of Fathom](http://fff.fathom.org/forums/index.php) It has some cookies problem apparently unless you’re logged in, and last summer it was hacked so it was down for a little less than a month. But other than that it’s free, fast, and fun. Which is why I voluntarily SPONSOR my membership for $25 a year. I appreciate a good service, and I am not afraid to pay for it. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-the-tech-god-is-not-a-tech-god/441897.md?page=2)