# Jesus and Sliders **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 25, 2003, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-and-sliders/150868 "2003-01-25T16:26:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Sock\_Munkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Sock\_Munkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sock_Munkey)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2003, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-and-sliders/150868/1 "2003-01-25T16:26:56Z")
A while back I had a thought, (a dirty habit to be sure but it happens now and again) anyhow, I was considering the hype given to crucifixion due to its’ most famous recipient and I think to myself about how things might have been on a paralell world where another form of execution might have been in vouge for the Roman empire. Say for example, that he had been beheaded, instead of the sign of the cross would we do the sign of the chop and wear little axes around our necks on silver chains? Perhaps if he were hung stigmata would be a rash on the neck as if from a rope burn and being a “redneck” would be considered holy. How about being burned at the stake? Fed to lions? Impaled? ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2003, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-and-sliders/150868/2 "2003-01-25T17:27:19Z")
Man, and here I thought this was gonna be about White Castle somehow. Maybe it’s just cause I’m hungry. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2003, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-and-sliders/150868/3 "2003-01-25T21:07:54Z")
Well, if He had got the electric chair the symbol could be a little lightening bolt. I am so going to Hell for finding this thread entertaining. Don’t tell the kids in my Sunday School class. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2003, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-and-sliders/150868/4 "2003-01-25T21:22:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sock Munkey \* > \*\*Impaled? \*\* I don’t even want to _think_ about where the stigmata would be. ---
**Author:** ![casdave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@casdave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/casdave)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2003, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-and-sliders/150868/5 "2003-01-25T21:23:46Z")
What would be the symbol be if it had been “death by chocolate ?” Frowning woman with the initials PMT across the top ? [sub]I’m soooo going to hell for that![/sub] ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2003, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-and-sliders/150868/6 "2003-01-25T23:01:02Z")
The OP reminds me of what used to say to people who wondered why my cross didn’t have suffering jesus on it. " I won’t wear one with dead jesus on it unless you promise to buy me a charm with the head of john the baptist on a platter too." No one got me one, so I never switched crosses 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sock\_Munkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Sock\_Munkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sock_Munkey)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2003, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-and-sliders/150868/7 "2003-01-26T01:35:43Z")
I live to entertain. =) per e n d i c u l a r ---
**Author:** ![Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2003, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-and-sliders/150868/8 "2003-01-26T05:46:14Z")
I’ve got a Buddy Christ on the dashboard of my truck. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2003, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-and-sliders/150868/9 "2003-01-26T11:18:28Z")
If he had been stoned to death, then we could wear little sacks of balls around our necks. I suppose they could be CHOCOLATE balls. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2003, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-and-sliders/150868/10 "2003-01-26T14:26:03Z")
If Jesus were beheaded, I think the symbol would be a head on a stick, since it was common to put the head on a pike and then display it somewhere. Which would have interesting implications for the ressurection… woud the body rise up and go get the head? Would the head float through the air to the crypt? Would there be two Jesuses? Would chopping Jesus up into little bits result in many little Jesuses coming back to life? ---
**Author:** ![auRa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c4cdca/32.png) [@auRa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auRa)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2003, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-and-sliders/150868/11 "2003-01-26T17:56:53Z")
> [@](#): > > **Would chopping Jesus up into little bits result in many little Jesuses coming back to life?** The broomstick scene from _Fantasia_ flashing in anyone else’s mind right now? Or am I just weird? ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2003, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-and-sliders/150868/12 "2003-01-26T18:04:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Duke \* > \*\*I don’t even want to _think_ about where the stigmata would be. \*\* Hey, some people already _get_ that particular stigmata! Okay, I’m now going to dry heave into the toilet… ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2003, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-and-sliders/150868/13 "2003-01-27T01:53:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by auRa \* > \*\*The broomstick scene from _Fantasia_ flashing in anyone else’s mind right now? Or am I just weird? \*\* I was thinking of Itchy and Scratchy when I wrote it, but it was a parody of Disney. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2003, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-and-sliders/150868/14 "2003-01-27T02:41:44Z")
KRS-One had a song about this. > [@](#): > > See what if Jesus Christ, was hung upon a tree > Upon every church wall, that’s exactly what you’d see > If Jesus Christ, was shot in the head with no respect > We’d all have little gold guns around our neck > If Jesus Christ was killed in electric chair, now get it > You’d be knealing to the electric chair with Jesus, still in it > You gaze upon the cross, and you see the execution > You yell stop the violence but the cross you’re still using Complete lyrics can be found [here](http://www.leoslyrics.com/listlyrics.php?sid=%F2%9F%3B%0D%98W%13+).