# "Jesus came to die..." and sell Christmas cards **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 21, 2012, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-came-to-die-and-sell-christmas-cards/644685 "2012-12-21T00:53:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2012, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-came-to-die-and-sell-christmas-cards/644685/1 "2012-12-21T00:53:37Z")
My fanatically religious fundamentalist cousins sent me their annual Christmas card. Inside, in print, it says, “Be still, and know that I am God.” Above the print, they wrote, “Jesus came to die and give you life.” So obviously, they believe in magic. Maybe I’ll send them a return card for the next pagan holiday. Oh, wait, that would be Christmas. So what _bon mot_ should I write? I’m not concerned with offending them, as they are beyond redemption (ha!). Anyone know a parallel saying in some other religion? ---
**Author:** ![Askthepizzaguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askthepizzaguy/32/9405_2.png) [@Askthepizzaguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askthepizzaguy)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2012, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-came-to-die-and-sell-christmas-cards/644685/2 "2012-12-21T09:03:24Z")
Send them a blank card, and don’t write anything inside it. If they ever call you and ask you about it, just let them know that God wrote some very important words in there, but only followers of the one true religion can read it. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2012, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-came-to-die-and-sell-christmas-cards/644685/3 "2012-12-21T11:59:36Z")
There’s some Eastern religion where they say _Wattana solayam!_, but I’m not sure which one - perhaps you could use that. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2012, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-came-to-die-and-sell-christmas-cards/644685/4 "2012-12-21T14:25:16Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > There’s some Eastern religion where they say _Wattana solayam!_, but I’m not sure which one - perhaps you could use that. It would be nice to know what it means first, and google isn’t any help. Did anyone die in other religions just so I could live? I’d like to have a choice before believing. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2012, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-came-to-die-and-sell-christmas-cards/644685/5 "2012-12-21T16:27:02Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > It would be nice to know what it means first, and google isn’t any help. > > Did anyone die in other religions just so I could live? I’d like to have a choice before believing. No, other religions feature gods dying so the corn will grow, or gods nailed to a tree so they can learn to read and write and pass it on to men, and where they talk about afterlives at all, you get what you’re given - deities don’t go around offering themselves up as substitutory sacrifices to get you into Valhalla or Elysium or anywhere like that, and from what I remember of the Tiger Balm Gardens when I was an impressionable child, the Chinese Hells aren’t nice at all. As to the other, my spelling could be way off and I’m completely brainfarting on the religion or the language, though it sounds vaguely South-East Asian to me. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2012, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-came-to-die-and-sell-christmas-cards/644685/6 "2012-12-21T17:22:05Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > No, other religions feature gods dying so the corn will grow, or gods nailed to a tree so they can learn to read and write and pass it on to men, and where they talk about afterlives at all, you get what you’re given - deities don’t go around offering themselves up as substitutory sacrifices to get you into Valhalla or Elysium or anywhere like that… Maybe I could dig up a quote from Aslan, who did. “Child…” ---
**Author:** ![LeeshaJoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e8cbc/32.png) [@LeeshaJoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LeeshaJoy)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2012, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-came-to-die-and-sell-christmas-cards/644685/7 "2012-12-21T17:24:26Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > It would be nice to know what it means first, and google isn’t any help. > > Did anyone die in other religions just so I could live? I’d like to have a choice before believing. I believe you’ve just been whooshed, friend. Sound out the phrase. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2012, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-came-to-die-and-sell-christmas-cards/644685/8 "2012-12-21T17:31:28Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > There’s some Eastern religion where they say _Wattana solayam!_, but I’m not sure which one - perhaps you could use that. > [@Musicat](#): > > It would be nice to know what it means first, and google isn’t any help. > [@LeeshaJoy](#): > > I believe you’ve just been whooshed, friend. Sound out the phrase. [Nelson] HA-ha [/Nelson] ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2012, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-came-to-die-and-sell-christmas-cards/644685/9 "2012-12-21T17:31:45Z")
Hasa diga eebowai? ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2012, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-came-to-die-and-sell-christmas-cards/644685/10 "2012-12-21T17:34:59Z")
> [@LeeshaJoy](#): > > I believe you’ve just been whooshed, friend. Sound out the phrase. I always heard it as _whataboob eyeyam._ It’s my fave mantra. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2012, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-came-to-die-and-sell-christmas-cards/644685/11 "2012-12-21T17:59:39Z")
Owa taygu Siam! ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2012, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-came-to-die-and-sell-christmas-cards/644685/12 "2012-12-21T18:02:00Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > Owa taygu Siam! Hey! I resemble that remark. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2012, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-came-to-die-and-sell-christmas-cards/644685/13 "2012-12-21T18:55:32Z")
Redd Foxx died for _my_ sins. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2012, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-came-to-die-and-sell-christmas-cards/644685/14 "2012-12-21T19:26:34Z")
I don’t have any sins. Jesus died in vain. ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2012, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-came-to-die-and-sell-christmas-cards/644685/15 "2012-12-21T21:08:22Z")
I’ve always liked “Christ gave up a weekend for your sins.” ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2012, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-came-to-die-and-sell-christmas-cards/644685/16 "2012-12-22T02:59:41Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > Above the print, they wrote, “Jesus came to die and give you life.” “Santa came to eat cookies and give me presents.” ---
**Author:** ![Tatterdemalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/43a26b/32.png) [@Tatterdemalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tatterdemalion)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2012, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-came-to-die-and-sell-christmas-cards/644685/17 "2012-12-22T03:06:06Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > “Santa came to eat cookies and give me presents.” Chuck Norris came to kick ass and chew bubble gum. And he’s out of bubble gum. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2012, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-came-to-die-and-sell-christmas-cards/644685/18 "2012-12-22T03:51:07Z")
The Flying Spaghetti Monster came to assault the Swedish Chef and to free all pasta from being cooked al dente. ---
**Author:** ![Runs\_With\_Scissors](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/278dde/32.png) [@Runs\_With\_Scissors](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Runs_With_Scissors)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2012, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-came-to-die-and-sell-christmas-cards/644685/19 "2012-12-22T04:20:32Z")
Jesus saves…at Walmart! ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2012, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-came-to-die-and-sell-christmas-cards/644685/20 "2012-12-22T04:47:55Z")
Cthuhlu will come, unleashing horrors and torments without precedent on the human race as he devours all reality; your only hope is to be eaten first. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-came-to-die-and-sell-christmas-cards/644685.md?page=2)