# Jesus Christ on a Cracker!!! He's an ACTOR!! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 1, 2004, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-christ-on-a-cracker-hes-an-actor/242954 "2004-05-01T07:00:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![torie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/77aa72/32.png) [@torie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/torie)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2004, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-christ-on-a-cracker-hes-an-actor/242954/1 "2004-05-01T07:00:58Z")
Not your best friend, not your lover, just an actor. Please do not send me nasty Private Messages because you were offended that I replaced a word in one of his movie quotes with underpants. It was a silly, stupid, bit of fun!I meant no one ANY DISRESPECT! I mean GOD FORBID I disrespect the words of an actor that I think is OMG SO TOTALLY CUTE LOLOLOLOLOLLOL!!!11111 Not to mention a man I HAVE NEVER FUCKING MET! I actually got this response from one of them. “we respect his words so much and there is no reason to muck up one of his quotes!!” :rolleyes: Grow up, get off the damn computer and get a real boyfriend you pathetic, loveless, pieces of shit!!! ---
**Author:** ![Jurhael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@Jurhael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jurhael)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2004, 7:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-christ-on-a-cracker-hes-an-actor/242954/2 "2004-05-01T07:48:00Z")
Got a link? ---
**Author:** ![Darkhold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@Darkhold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darkhold)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2004, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-christ-on-a-cracker-hes-an-actor/242954/3 "2004-05-01T07:56:29Z")
Well I’m guessing it’s from that stupid Underpants game in Cafe Society. Heh scrolling through I see **torie** did Bruce Campbell. I wonder if **Darwin’s Finch** got a nasty message as well? [Link](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=253333&page=1&pp=50) if I assumed correctly. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2004, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-christ-on-a-cracker-hes-an-actor/242954/4 "2004-05-01T12:06:23Z")
I’m a big Bruce Campbell fan, but I cannot even remotely imagine “respecting his words”. Someone is seriously nuts. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2004, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-christ-on-a-cracker-hes-an-actor/242954/5 "2004-05-01T13:04:55Z")
You should visit the Ain’t It Cool website. They worship the man over there. According to the fanboys, Campbell is the only actor who should be chosen to play any role in any movie. BTW, I like Campbell, but sheez… ---
**Author:** ![Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/258eb7/32.png) [@Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wonko_The_Sane)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2004, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-christ-on-a-cracker-hes-an-actor/242954/6 "2004-05-01T13:06:31Z")
This is about the Army Of Darkness quote? If you can’t make fun of that movie… egads. ---
**Author:** ![UselessGit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/74df32/32.png) [@UselessGit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UselessGit)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2004, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-christ-on-a-cracker-hes-an-actor/242954/7 "2004-05-01T13:48:30Z")
> [@torie](#): > > […] > Please do not send me nasty Private Messages because you were offended that I replaced a word in one of his movie quotes with underpants. It was a silly, stupid, bit of fun!I meant no one ANY DISRESPECT! I mean GOD FORBID I disrespect the words of an actor that I think is OMG SO TOTALLY CUTE LOLOLOLOLOLLOL!!!11111 Not to mention a man I HAVE NEVER FUCKING MET! I actually got this response from one of them. > “we respect his words so much and there is no reason to muck up one of his quotes!!” :rolleyes: > […] He _can’t_ be talking about Bruce Campbell, he just can’t. Saying something like that about, say, Mel Gibson would be… well… stupid, but maybe more understandable - but Bruce Campbell? No way. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2004, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-christ-on-a-cracker-hes-an-actor/242954/8 "2004-05-01T13:56:17Z")
And he didn’t write them…he just said them…in character. This isn’t like taking Thomas Jefferson or John Adams and dising those words: i.e. They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or underpants. ---
**Author:** ![KSO](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f07891/32.png) [@KSO](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KSO)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2004, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-christ-on-a-cracker-hes-an-actor/242954/9 "2004-05-01T14:07:19Z")
I think **Dangerosa** is onto something: “Give me liberty or give me underpants.” “Life, liberty, and the pursuit of underpants.” “I regret that I have but one life to give for my underpants.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2004, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-christ-on-a-cracker-hes-an-actor/242954/10 "2004-05-01T14:27:12Z")
We have been endowed by our underpants with certain inalienable rights… See that’s disrespectful… ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2004, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-christ-on-a-cracker-hes-an-actor/242954/11 "2004-05-01T14:30:22Z")
God help me, but I’m going to continue **KSO** ’s hijack … “Four Score and Seven Underpants ago …” “December Seventh, Nineteen Fourty-One … a date that will live in underpants …” “I have a dream … that one day a man will not be judged by the color of his skin, but by the content of his underpants …” “That’s one small step for underpants, one giant leap for underpantskind.” ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2004, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-christ-on-a-cracker-hes-an-actor/242954/12 "2004-05-01T14:42:58Z")
[aside]That makes 420 posts for torie. woo hoo![/aside] 😉 Whew! Bruce Campbell. That’s ok. :wipes brow in relief: I was sure you must’ve quoted Orlando Bloom or Brad Pitt. Now that would be blasphemous. “Gimme some underpants, baby” ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2004, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-christ-on-a-cracker-hes-an-actor/242954/13 "2004-05-01T15:06:59Z")
“Ask not what your underpants can do for you. Ask what you can do for your underpants.” > [@Ponder Stibbons](#): > > “I have a dream … that one day a man will not be judged by the color of his skin, but by the content of his underpants …” Oh, that is so so so wrong…and yet so right! Thanks for the laugh. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2004, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-christ-on-a-cracker-hes-an-actor/242954/14 "2004-05-01T15:15:01Z")
Thank you, thank you 😃 … well, while we’re on Kennedy … “We choose to go to the underpants. We choose to go to the underpants in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard …” ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2004, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-christ-on-a-cracker-hes-an-actor/242954/15 "2004-05-01T15:44:40Z")
I got an angry email once because I wasn’t giving Tom Berenger enough respect on a message board. (I dared to state that I do not adore every movie he’s been in. Is that a crime?) I love him, I really do . . . but . . . we’re talking _Tom Berenger_ here, not Ashton Kutcher. Berenger’s fan base is, for the most part, older than 18 years old. I would expect a little less hysteria from a Tom Berenger fan. I guess I was wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2004, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-christ-on-a-cracker-hes-an-actor/242954/16 "2004-05-01T16:50:06Z")
“I did not have sexual relations with those underpants.” “It depends on what your definition of ‘underpants’ is.” I could understand someone being upset by this kinda thing, but Bruce Campbell? I love the guy, own his book, but it’s not like he’s saying some deep, profound truths. Other than, “In my own way, I am king. Hail to the king, baby.” And Tom Berenger? Jeez. He’s a decent actor, but I can’t imagine getting my panties in a twist over _Sniper_. ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2004, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-christ-on-a-cracker-hes-an-actor/242954/17 "2004-05-01T16:53:03Z")
Ooh, ooh. How about “No man shall come to the underpants except through me.” “Blessed are the underpants, for the y shall inherit the earth.” “For God so loved the world, he sent his only underpants.” ---
**Author:** ![Darwins\_Finch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darwins_finch/32/20304_2.png) [@Darwins\_Finch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darwins_Finch)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2004, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-christ-on-a-cracker-hes-an-actor/242954/18 "2004-05-01T18:08:49Z")
> [@Darkhold](#): > > Well I’m guessing it’s from that stupid Underpants game in Cafe Society. > > Heh scrolling through I see **torie** did Bruce Campbell. I wonder if **Darwin’s Finch** got a nasty message as well? Nope. Maybe I showed proper respect to the words of Bruce 😃 ---
**Author:** ![torie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/77aa72/32.png) [@torie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/torie)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2004, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-christ-on-a-cracker-hes-an-actor/242954/19 "2004-05-01T18:13:05Z")
Whoops, sorry I confused people. See, I liked Dangrosa’s game so much, I transplanted it over to another message board dedicated to Owen Wilson. (Paid my respects to Dangerosa in the message line of corse.) Oh. MY. GOD. I killed their mothers. I burned down their houses. I murdered thier pets in cold blood with a chainsaw that I bought from thier father’s sporting goods store that I also robbed, and I masturbated while doing it! I received a deluge of nasty PM’s. When I wrote to the moderator requesting they be stopped, I recieved this message. " I am sorry you got a nasty PM. I am surprised it was only one. I got complaints from a couple of other people that you had taken their favorite quotes and used them in your game. Personally I didn’t like it that you had used mine in the very first thread. But I can’t let personal feelings come into the moderator job. I have to be fair. I realize you only meant it in fun, but to be fair the majority of people here really do take the quotes seriously and don’t like them misquoted. If you look you will see numerous threads about the quotes." So basically you don’t want to moderate your board becuse you are upset that I messed up a quote by your precioussssssssssssssssssssssssssss. These people are psycho’s, seriously. They are insane. We will see one of them on the news. Because they killed him. Heheh, Because they underpantsed him. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2004, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-christ-on-a-cracker-hes-an-actor/242954/20 "2004-05-01T18:20:51Z")
> [@torie](#): > > See, I liked Dangrosa’s game so much, I transplanted it over to another message board dedicated to Owen Wilson. There is a message board dedicated to Owen Wilson? Seriously? And they take quotes from his movies seriously? I mean, I find Owen Wilson kind of charming, but WTF? Geez Louise, get a life people! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-christ-on-a-cracker-hes-an-actor/242954.md?page=2)