# Jesus didn't give a damn about sports **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 14, 2009, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-didnt-give-a-damn-about-sports/502921 "2009-07-14T01:02:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![tnetennba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tnetennba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tnetennba)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-didnt-give-a-damn-about-sports/502921/1 "2009-07-14T01:02:30Z")
So athletes should STFU about Jesus during sporting events. That is all. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-didnt-give-a-damn-about-sports/502921/2 "2009-07-14T01:05:07Z")
So you’re saying Jesus was gay? ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-didnt-give-a-damn-about-sports/502921/3 "2009-07-14T01:10:25Z")
\NERRRRRRRD!\ ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-didnt-give-a-damn-about-sports/502921/4 "2009-07-14T01:31:17Z")
So since George Washington didn’t care about television, we shouldn’t be watching PBS history specials? Since Shakespeare didn’t care about twenty-year-old Jewish girls from New Jersey, I shouldn’t read Hamlet? ---
**Author:** ![imthjckaz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/imthjckaz/32/3223_2.png) [@imthjckaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imthjckaz)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-didnt-give-a-damn-about-sports/502921/5 "2009-07-14T01:32:49Z")
I think Jesus Shuttlesworth cares about sports a little. And he’s got game, too! ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Parker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/35a633/32.png) [@Richard\_Parker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Parker)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-didnt-give-a-damn-about-sports/502921/6 "2009-07-14T01:33:02Z")
> [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#): > > So since George Washington didn’t care about television, we shouldn’t be watching PBS history specials? > > Since Shakespeare didn’t care about twenty-year-old Jewish girls from New Jersey, I shouldn’t read Hamlet? Jesus did, however, care about proper analogies. ---
**Author:** ![Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimmy_Gibbler)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-didnt-give-a-damn-about-sports/502921/7 "2009-07-14T01:35:22Z")
> [@Richard\_Parker](#): > > Jesus did, however, care about proper analogies. I believe He called them “parables!” ---
**Author:** ![akennett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ee59a6/32.png) [@akennett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/akennett)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-didnt-give-a-damn-about-sports/502921/8 "2009-07-14T01:36:07Z")
What do you mean Jesus didn’t give a damn about sports? I think I need to start an Athletic Jesus thread in GD. ---
**Author:** ![tnetennba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tnetennba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tnetennba)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-didnt-give-a-damn-about-sports/502921/9 "2009-07-14T01:37:08Z")
He did wear that Lakers cap, but I thought it was just fashionable. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-didnt-give-a-damn-about-sports/502921/10 "2009-07-14T01:38:33Z")
But his disciples [were into sprinting](http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=50&chapter=20&verse=4&version=31&context=verse)… ---
**Author:** ![tnetennba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tnetennba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tnetennba)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-didnt-give-a-damn-about-sports/502921/11 "2009-07-14T01:38:38Z")
I wish there was an animist superstar athlete who thanked the soul of the baseball for wanting to fly itself out of the ball park. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-didnt-give-a-damn-about-sports/502921/12 "2009-07-14T01:50:31Z")
And St. Paul was the [first track coach](http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=53&chapter=9&verse=24&version=31&context=verse): > [@](#): > > **1 Corinthians 9:24 (New International Version)** > > “_Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize_.” ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-didnt-give-a-damn-about-sports/502921/13 "2009-07-14T01:57:10Z")
> [@cricetus](#): > > I wish there was an animist superstar athlete who thanked the soul of the baseball for wanting to fly itself out of the ball park. "Bats, they are sick. I cannot hit curveball. Straightball I hit it very much. Curveball, bats are afraid. I ask Jobu to come, take fear from bats. I offer him cigar, rum. He will come. " ---
**Author:** ![BugMeNot2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e5b9ba/32.png) [@BugMeNot2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BugMeNot2)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-didnt-give-a-damn-about-sports/502921/14 "2009-07-14T01:57:45Z")
> [@cricetus](#): > > I wish there was an animist superstar athlete who thanked the soul of the baseball for wanting to fly itself out of the ball park. This is pretty much the best post on this message board. Ever. ---
**Author:** ![R.P.McMurphy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7993a0/32.png) [@R.P.McMurphy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R.P.McMurphy)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-didnt-give-a-damn-about-sports/502921/15 "2009-07-14T02:33:59Z")
Jesus wants Notre Dame football to get the crap beat out of them. That’s why he sent them Charlie Weiss. (That being said, I don’t know what ND did to piss Jesus off so bad. It wasn’t always that way.) ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-didnt-give-a-damn-about-sports/502921/16 "2009-07-14T02:39:55Z")
Jeff Stilson: “I’m trying to wean myself off sports, it’s too time consuming. I don’t watch football anymore, I gave that up. I got tired of the interviews after the games, because the winning players always give credit to God, and the losers blame themselves. You know, just once I’d like to hear a player say, ‘Yeah, we were in the game, until Jesus made me fumble. He hates our team.’”([cite](http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Jeff_Stilson)) He had another one about how even boxers thank Jesus. Something like, “Without Jesus I never would have been able to crush my opponent’s skull and render him brain dead.” ---
**Author:** ![tnetennba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tnetennba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tnetennba)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-didnt-give-a-damn-about-sports/502921/17 "2009-07-14T02:45:08Z")
Thanks, BugMeNot2. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-didnt-give-a-damn-about-sports/502921/18 "2009-07-14T02:46:26Z")
> [@Spartydog](#): > > Jesus wants Notre Dame football to get the crap beat out of them. That’s why he sent them Charlie Weiss. > > (That being said, I don’t know what ND did to piss Jesus off so bad. It wasn’t always that way.) Obviously, they hired a disciple of the devil. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Annie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/858c86/32.png) [@Annie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-didnt-give-a-damn-about-sports/502921/19 "2009-07-14T02:51:31Z")
> [@BugMeNot2](#): > > This is pretty much the best post on this message board. Ever. Top 5, definitely. I may have to tag that, with author permission ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-didnt-give-a-damn-about-sports/502921/20 "2009-07-14T02:55:08Z")
Jesus was a baseball fan: Job made a _sacrifice._ Mary went to the well with a _pitcher._ And the whole thing starts by describing what happened _in the beeg-inning._ (big inning). I agree with the OP - Richard Jenni suggested that if winning quarterbacks thank Jesus, losing quarterbacks should blame him. (“It’s true, I fumbled because of Jesus - _he hates us!_ Did you know he’s a Jew?”) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-didnt-give-a-damn-about-sports/502921.md?page=2)