# Jesus didn't give a damn about sports **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 14, 2009, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-didnt-give-a-damn-about-sports/502921 "2009-07-14T01:02:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![MTRG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71c47a/32.png) [@MTRG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MTRG)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-didnt-give-a-damn-about-sports/502921/61 "2009-07-14T21:03:20Z")
Jesus can’t play Rugby… Jesus can’t play rugby cuz he only has 12 men Jesus can’t play rugby cuz his scrum caps full of thorns Jesus can’t play rugby cuz his toe spike is illegal Jesus can’t play rugby cuz his dad’ll fix the game Jesus can’t play rugby cuz he’s stuck behind a rock Jesus can’t play fly half cuz he’s got hole in his hands Jesus can’t play fullback cuz he can’t block out the sun Jesus can’t play touch judge, cause His arms they point both ways, Jesus can’t play in tournaments cuz he takes three days to heal Jesus can’t kick for touch, cuz His feet are nailed together, Jesus can play rugby cuz he turns water into wine Please lord were only kidding ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-didnt-give-a-damn-about-sports/502921/62 "2009-07-14T21:04:17Z")
Bill Cosby did a great bit about a father who took his kid out day after day, training him, teaching him, integrating him into sports. Years of training, driving the kid to practice and wanting his son to be a sports hero finally pay off. The father’s young man breaks into professional sports! He is on T.V! He breaks tackles, makes it into end zone (he scores!) and a camera is pointed in his face, and he says, “Hi mom!” ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-didnt-give-a-damn-about-sports/502921/63 "2009-07-14T21:07:17Z")
> [@Munch](#): > > So when someone says, “I want to thank God for making me really good at hitting homeruns” it’s a debate? I bet you’re a ton of fun at the sports bar. By “up for debate” I mean an unsettled issue, not actually being debated. I thought that was obvious from the context. In any case, what he says and what he means in that case are two different things. What he _means_ is “I want to thank the doctor from Barbados who prescribed me 86 cases of HGH so I’d be really good at hitting home runs.” ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-didnt-give-a-damn-about-sports/502921/64 "2009-07-14T21:31:25Z")
> [@Gangster\_Octopus](#): > > it’s not preaching, and you know it. The hell it isn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-didnt-give-a-damn-about-sports/502921/65 "2009-07-14T21:35:37Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > The hell it isn’t. But… but you \*\*know \*\*it! He \*\*said \*\*so! ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-didnt-give-a-damn-about-sports/502921/66 "2009-07-14T22:12:32Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > The hell it isn’t. How is someone thanking God is preaching? I guess we have differnt definitions. Let me see here, from [m-w.com](http://m-w.com) Main Entry: preach Pronunciation: \ˈprēch\ Function: verb Etymology: Middle English prechen, from Anglo-French precher, from Late Latin praedicare, from Latin, to proclaim, make known, from prae- pre- + dicare to proclaim — more at diction Date: 13th century intransitive verb 1: to deliver a sermon - **NOPE** 2: to urge acceptance or abandonment of an idea or course of action ; specifically : to exhort in an officious or tiresome manner transitive verb **NOPE** 1: to set forth in a sermon \ **NOPE** 2: to advocate earnestly \ **NOPE** 3: to deliver (as a sermon) publicly 4: to bring, put, or affect by preaching \ **NOPE** Somebody proclaiming they have faith in God is not preaching. Someone telling you to have faith in God, that’s preaching. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-didnt-give-a-damn-about-sports/502921/67 "2009-07-14T22:17:45Z")
It’s witnessing. All unsolicited witnessing is is preachy and obnoxious. Am I saying it should be illegal? No. I’m just saying I find it annoying. Also stupid. ---
**Author:** ![Trepa\_Mayfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Trepa\_Mayfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trepa_Mayfield)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-didnt-give-a-damn-about-sports/502921/68 "2009-07-14T22:26:06Z")
Well, apparently [God doesn’t like it](http://www.holyobserver.com/god-to-professional-athletes-stop-pointing-at-me/). ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-didnt-give-a-damn-about-sports/502921/69 "2009-07-14T23:51:40Z")
> [@Gangster\_Octopus](#): > > Do you find it obnoxious if they thank their mother and father? Why would anyone object to that? Their mother and father exist. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2009, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-didnt-give-a-damn-about-sports/502921/70 "2009-07-15T00:31:55Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > Why would anyone object to that? Their mother and father exist. And, presumably, played an active and quantifiable role in their upbringing. ---
**Author:** ![furt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/439d5e/32.png) [@furt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furt)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2009, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-didnt-give-a-damn-about-sports/502921/71 "2009-07-15T00:49:05Z")
> [@Munch](#): > > Yes, but they rarely (if ever) thank God/Jesus for the victory - usually only for keeping them healthy or giving them the ability to play. Exactly. There’s a difference between thanking God for making you fast/strong/healthy/talented, and thanking God because he fixed the game for you. Another common boilerplate is “I give God all the glory.” It means much the same thing – they’re trying to express (in mangled jock-speak) that while a reporter is putting a mike up to them and putting them on TV, they’re trying to stay humble and credit God for giving them their talents. It’s very rare, in my observation, for someone to flatly say anything akin to “we won because God wanted us to,” unless they’re expressing something akin to fate or luck. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2009, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-didnt-give-a-damn-about-sports/502921/72 "2009-07-15T13:02:31Z")
I especially enjoy it when boxers or MMA fighters thank God for allowing them to be healthy and strong enough to beat the shit out of someone. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2009, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-didnt-give-a-damn-about-sports/502921/73 "2009-07-15T14:38:10Z")
I’d have much less of a problem with it if they blamed God when they lost, too. ---
**Author:** ![Cumberdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@Cumberdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cumberdale)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2009, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-didnt-give-a-damn-about-sports/502921/74 "2009-07-15T18:58:33Z")
It’s grandstanding. It’s like they are standing under a huge, blinking neon light in order to show how humble they are. If they want to actually thank something they should thank evolution and their genes, not some pretend sky daddy. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2009, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-didnt-give-a-damn-about-sports/502921/75 "2009-07-15T19:15:52Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > Why would anyone object to that? Their mother and father exist. Except in “Blanket” Jackson’s case. ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2009, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-didnt-give-a-damn-about-sports/502921/76 "2009-07-15T19:57:47Z")
I remember a track meet in high school where the guy next to me (a teammate) started praying for god to help him in the upcoming race. What kind of asshole move is that? How isn’t it cheating? The guy joins a sport where he, allegedly, competes man to man and then asked a super powerful being to fix it so he can win? He actually had no shame about it either. Either his god doesn’t take requests or I crushed him and his god at the half-mile on that day. Either way, it felt good. ---
**Author:** ![Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uosdwis_R.Dewoh)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2009, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-didnt-give-a-damn-about-sports/502921/77 "2009-07-15T21:07:38Z")
What do you mean Jesus didn’t care about sports? Jesus loved sports. Even on his dying day you could hear him shout: Gimme a **T**! ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2009, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-didnt-give-a-damn-about-sports/502921/78 "2009-07-15T21:24:06Z")
He hasn’t been any good for football ever since then, though. He used to be a fair wide receiver, but ever since the crucifixion, the ball keeps going right through his hands. ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2009, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-didnt-give-a-damn-about-sports/502921/79 "2009-07-15T21:30:24Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > He hasn’t been any good for football ever since then, though. He used to be a fair wide receiver, but ever since the crucifixion, the ball keeps going right through his hands. Yeah, his footwork needs improvement. He’s running around out there like he’s got some wooden planks nailed to them or something. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2009, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-didnt-give-a-damn-about-sports/502921/80 "2009-07-15T21:36:34Z")
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