# Jesus genitals! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 14, 2010, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-genitals/536141 "2010-04-14T23:33:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Batfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Batfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batfish)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2010, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-genitals/536141/1 "2010-04-14T23:33:17Z")
I feel compelled to share this. [Do not click if you don’t want to see Jesus’ genitals.](http://www.tulsaworld.com/news/article.aspx?subjectid=18&articleid=20100414_12_0_WRCEhr919446) ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2010, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-genitals/536141/2 "2010-04-14T23:44:28Z")
Well, he ain’t circumcized, so that would be a fail. Also, unless JC moonlights in porn, I’d say the artist was overly generous. That, or it’s a stylized painting, and the “penis” is really just the lower abdomen. One of those, I’m pretty sure. ---
**Author:** ![WomanofScorn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5a626/32.png) [@WomanofScorn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WomanofScorn)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2010, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-genitals/536141/3 "2010-04-14T23:59:21Z")
It looks like his abs to me ---
**Author:** ![missred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missred/32/14096_2.png) [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-genitals/536141/4 "2010-04-15T00:00:11Z")
Think maybe he has a hard on for the Romans? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![freckafree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freckafree/32/3050_2.png) [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-genitals/536141/5 "2010-04-15T00:15:30Z")
When they said he was hung on a cross, they weren’t kidding! ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-genitals/536141/6 "2010-04-15T00:33:22Z")
They are his abs, but I think it may be symbolic. You know, like in Michelangelo’s Creation of Adam, where God and his angels look like a human brain. Sometimes you design one feature to look like another. In this case, since I know nothing about the creator, I don’t know if it’s a way of saying “Jesus is a dick”, or “Jesus had balls” or whatever. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-genitals/536141/7 "2010-04-15T00:42:47Z")
In light of the recent RCC scandals, “Suffer the little children to come unto me”? ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-genitals/536141/8 "2010-04-15T00:51:16Z")
“King of Glory”, huh? ---
**Author:** ![kidneyfailure](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9f8e36/32.png) [@kidneyfailure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidneyfailure)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-genitals/536141/9 "2010-04-15T01:13:08Z")
That’s obviously supposed to be his six-pack, though I’m sure plenty of 12-year-olds have had a good snicker about it behind their hymnals. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-genitals/536141/10 "2010-04-15T01:30:09Z")
It really looks nothing like a six-pack though. It just happens to be in the place where a six-pack would be. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-genitals/536141/11 "2010-04-15T01:34:24Z")
Holy Viagra! ---
**Author:** ![kidneyfailure](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9f8e36/32.png) [@kidneyfailure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidneyfailure)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-genitals/536141/12 "2010-04-15T01:52:00Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > It really looks nothing like a six-pack though. It just happens to be in the place where a six-pack would be. It’s either Jesus’ poorly-drawn chisled abs or a huge cartoonish cock depicted there for all to see. Which do you think is more plausible? Or, I guess, it could be an optical illusion drawn there on purpose by a pissed-off artist. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-genitals/536141/13 "2010-04-15T02:02:55Z")
“I come not to bring peace, but to bring a sword” Matthew 10:34 But … “Surely I come quickly…” Revelation 22:20 ---
**Author:** ![Nicolas\_Bourbaki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecc23a/32.png) [@Nicolas\_Bourbaki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nicolas_Bourbaki)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-genitals/536141/14 "2010-04-15T02:15:23Z")
Okay, I get it’s an icon, so every detail has to be transcribed and they don’t have any artistic licence to exercise, but the person who drew [this](http://www.iconsbydelphia.com/images/damianocloseup2.jpg) one managed to represent his . . . I dunno, ‘4-pack’? . . . without it looking like a massive beef hammer. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-genitals/536141/15 "2010-04-15T02:21:39Z")
I especially love that at the bottom of the icon you can see Death looking up JC’s skirt. "I see Jerusalem, I see Galilee… I see someone’s loincloth – whee! ---
**Author:** ![Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kolak_of_twilo/32/73_2.png) [@Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolak_of_Twilo)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-genitals/536141/16 "2010-04-15T02:28:20Z")
Take a look at [this one](http://www.stmaryorthodoxchambersburg.org/Images/352px-Crucifixion_Icon_Sinai_13th_century.jpg) and tell me what you see. I could see it going either way in this case. The one I linked to is from a website for an Orthodox Church. I think it is nothing more than stylized abs. ---
**Author:** ![Nicolas\_Bourbaki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecc23a/32.png) [@Nicolas\_Bourbaki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nicolas_Bourbaki)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-genitals/536141/17 "2010-04-15T02:36:31Z")
> [@Kolak\_of\_Twilo](#): > > Take a look at [this one](http://www.stmaryorthodoxchambersburg.org/Images/352px-Crucifixion_Icon_Sinai_13th_century.jpg) and tell me what you see. I could see it going either way in this case. The one I linked to is from a website for an Orthodox Church. I think it is nothing more than stylized abs. At first glance I thought ‘abs’, but then I saw John is seriously blushing and Mary’s like _staring_ at it, and now I can’t see anything but cawk. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-genitals/536141/18 "2010-04-15T02:40:12Z")
> [@Kolak\_of\_Twilo](#): > > Take a look at [this one](http://www.stmaryorthodoxchambersburg.org/Images/352px-Crucifixion_Icon_Sinai_13th_century.jpg) and tell me what you see. An upside-down big-booty backside, with thighs and shins. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-genitals/536141/19 "2010-04-15T03:09:45Z")
FYI, it’s a [San Damiano Cross](http://images.google.com/images?rlz=1C1CHFX_enUS370US371&q=San%20Damiano%20Cross&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&hl=en&tab=wi) ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-genitals/536141/20 "2010-04-15T03:25:47Z")
> [@Kolak\_of\_Twilo](#): > > Take a look at [this one](http://www.stmaryorthodoxchambersburg.org/Images/352px-Crucifixion_Icon_Sinai_13th_century.jpg) and tell me what you see. I see a giant cockroach imbeded in his abdomen. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-genitals/536141.md?page=2)