# Jesus genitals! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 14, 2010, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-genitals/536141 "2010-04-14T23:33:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-genitals/536141/21 "2010-04-15T04:56:41Z")
Heh, I showed this picture to my friends, only 1 out of 3 of them noticed the penis without me pointing it out to them. ---
**Author:** ![Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kolak_of_twilo/32/73_2.png) [@Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolak_of_Twilo)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-genitals/536141/22 "2010-04-15T06:29:12Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > FYI, it’s a [San Damiano Cross](http://images.google.com/images?rlz=1C1CHFX_enUS370US371&q=San%20Damiano%20Cross&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&hl=en&tab=wi) Which supports the idea some nitwits are looking at stylized abs and seeing enormous weird Jesus weiners. Now they have pointed this out it is all I see when I look at these pictures. Thanks! (not) ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-genitals/536141/23 "2010-04-15T06:31:37Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > FYI, it’s a [San Damiano Cross](http://images.google.com/images?rlz=1C1CHFX_enUS370US371&q=San%20Damiano%20Cross&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&hl=en&tab=wi) Thanks for posting this, **Revtim**. Barb and I have had that around the house for over 25 years now, and have never thought that Jesus was flashing the Mighty Schlong of Joy in it. It’s from the ruined church that St. Francis restored when he first got religion, and dates back to before 1200. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-genitals/536141/24 "2010-04-15T06:46:36Z")
> [@kidneyfailure](#): > > It’s either Jesus’ poorly-drawn chisled abs or a huge cartoonish cock depicted there for all to see. Which do you think is more plausible? > > Or, I guess, it could be an optical illusion drawn there on purpose by a pissed-off artist. I’m not saying the artist _intended_ to draw a cock. I’m just saying it looks _nothing_ like abs. ---
**Author:** ![kidneyfailure](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9f8e36/32.png) [@kidneyfailure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidneyfailure)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-genitals/536141/25 "2010-04-15T07:56:43Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > I’m not saying the artist _intended_ to draw a cock. I’m just saying it looks _nothing_ like abs. Well, that probably looks nothing like the historical Jesus, either. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-genitals/536141/26 "2010-04-15T08:15:53Z")
“I got my abs in only 40 days, and now, for a limited-time offer, so can you! All you have to do is make one easy payment of giving all your money to the poor and following me!” ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-genitals/536141/27 "2010-04-15T14:38:43Z")
It’s not something appropriate for a church. They should use a stripper on it until they have exposed wood. Oh wait! They already do! ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-genitals/536141/28 "2010-04-15T16:06:10Z")
You think that’s bad, I walked into the altar boy room, and saw this: [NSFW] http ://i305.photobucket.com/albums/nn210/hrhomer/jesus.jpg [/NSFW] Joe ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-genitals/536141/29 "2010-04-15T16:38:14Z")
> [@Chef\_Troy](#): > > I especially love that at the bottom of the icon you can see Death looking up JC’s skirt. Someone once explained to me that in Orthodox iconography it is taken quite seriously that Golgotha (meaning: “the place of the skull”) was precisely Adam’s burial place. Now, probably even the most dogmatic believers would not insist that Christ’s cross was exactly positioned over Adam’s skull. But it’s supposed to be down there somewhere nearby. Adam and Eve were supposed to be literal people, released from Sheol upon the Resurrection, and are now St. Adam and St. Eve! There is even iconography about the “Harrowing of Hell” (actually Limbo of the Just) with Christ portrayed as specifically taking them of this somewhat dreary temporary existence by hand. (No real joys of Heaven, and it probably didn’t even compare to Eden, but no torments, just the unpleasantness of waiting.) Then he releases all the other righteous men and women of B.C. _ **- Og** _ ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-genitals/536141/30 "2010-04-15T19:58:36Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > FYI, it’s a [San Damiano Cross](http://images.google.com/images?rlz=1C1CHFX_enUS370US371&q=San%20Damiano%20Cross&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&hl=en&tab=wi) Every one of those images I clicked on I saw abdominal muscles. On the OP’s I see a gigantic penis. Of course it’s poorly done abs, whether intentional or not. I can’t imagine looking at that and at first seeing anything other than a big fat erect penis and balls _way_ too high on the belly. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-genitals/536141/31 "2010-04-15T20:14:21Z")
> [@kidneyfailure](#): > > Well, that probably looks nothing like the historical Jesus, either. Well, some claim Jesus was black, so that could explain it. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-genitals/536141/32 "2010-04-15T20:18:44Z")
> [@elmwood](#): > > Well, some claim Jesus was black, so that could explain it. What, the size of the penis or that depictions of the historical Jesus may be inaccurate? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-genitals/536141/33 "2010-04-15T20:40:10Z")
In the name of the Father, and of the the Son, and of the holy shit, it’s like a baby’s arm! ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2010, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-genitals/536141/34 "2010-04-16T06:55:21Z")
“I told you I was hung like a baby; 19” long and weighs 8 lbs". [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-genitals/536141.md?page=1)