# Jesus, grampa, stop doing that! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 3, 2003, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-grampa-stop-doing-that/192714 "2003-08-03T14:00:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![chique](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@chique](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chique)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2003, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-grampa-stop-doing-that/192714/1 "2003-08-03T14:00:45Z")
He just walked in from the barn after getting into a fight with a cow. He’s 87 and his skin is like tissue paper, so when the cow pushed him into the stanchion it left a gash about four inches long across his arm and kind of peeled back his skin about four inches down his arm. What a mess to clean up. I hope my father makes him go to the doctor tomorrow. GAH! If diabetes, heart problem, and old age doesn’t kill him he’ll just do it himself. But not right this second. We have to go to a Twins game. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2003, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-grampa-stop-doing-that/192714/2 "2003-08-03T14:15:29Z")
Gotta do it… Jesus, grampa… grampa, Jesus… now shake hands and come out fighting at the bell! ---
**Author:** ![green\_bladder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/73ab20/32.png) [@green\_bladder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/green_bladder)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2003, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-grampa-stop-doing-that/192714/3 "2003-08-03T14:34:53Z")
Who started the fight? ---
**Author:** ![80sHairMetalMaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/8/ed655f/32.png) [@80sHairMetalMaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/80sHairMetalMaven)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2003, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-grampa-stop-doing-that/192714/4 "2003-08-03T14:51:31Z")
I know how ya feel, **chique**. My grandmother, who is around that age, is the same way. She insists that, despite heart problems, high cholesterol, difficulty getting around and what not that she still drive herself wherever she damned well pleases and eats nothing but Whoppers and STILL at her age smokes and dips chewing tobacco. Ick. _shakes head_ She’s as stubborn as an old mule. I think that’s where I get it from.🙂 IDBB ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Tiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Mama\_Tiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Tiger)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2003, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-grampa-stop-doing-that/192714/5 "2003-08-03T16:05:04Z")
My grandmother decided, three weeks before her 100th birthday, that she needed to do her own laundry, even though she’s in a nice assisted living center where people are paid to do it for her. Plus she is NOT supposed to be walking around without her walker. So to carry the laundry basket, she had to use her cane, and had to take the elevator down one floor to get to the laundry room. She somehow managed to fall and break her femur. So she ended up attending her 100th birthday party in a wheelchair with fancy new steel plates in her leg. She’s now 102 and going strong. I think there’s something to this extra-stubborn=extreme-old-age thing. ---
**Author:** ![callie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/2acd7d/32.png) [@callie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/callie)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2003, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-grampa-stop-doing-that/192714/6 "2003-08-03T16:21:10Z")
Hope he heels as quickly as possible **chique**! ---
**Author:** ![MonkeyMule](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc348/32.png) [@MonkeyMule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MonkeyMule)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2003, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-grampa-stop-doing-that/192714/7 "2003-08-03T17:42:22Z")
How did the cow look? casue i’d hate to think gramps is getting soft in his old age. ::Imagines cow stumbling around punch drunk with accompnmaing moos and off kilter bells:: 😉 ---
**Author:** ![LookitMe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7bcc69/32.png) [@LookitMe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LookitMe)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2003, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-grampa-stop-doing-that/192714/8 "2003-08-03T17:46:04Z")
“The first rule of cow fighting is…” ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2003, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-grampa-stop-doing-that/192714/9 "2003-08-03T17:55:19Z")
He needs a cow stick. We still have Poppa’s old cow stick. I use in on Sweety when he’s bad. heh. ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2003, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-grampa-stop-doing-that/192714/10 "2003-08-03T20:34:56Z")
Oh god, please don’t say that the doc inserted another catheter. ---
**Author:** ![chique](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@chique](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chique)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-grampa-stop-doing-that/192714/11 "2003-08-04T00:08:40Z")
I would assume grampa won: the cow left the barn, he’s still vertical, and was functioning enough to think Cory Koskie bobblehead doll is silly. 😉 Grampa has several cow sticks. Some are longer and heavier than others. One is kinda wussy, but it’s electric so that makes up for any wussiness. And no catheters. Yet. 😃 Just peeled of the first bandage and it’s…ew. The more I hang around him the more I realize why a medical career has never appealed to me. ---
**Author:** ![Wyatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b19c9b/32.png) [@Wyatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wyatt)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-grampa-stop-doing-that/192714/12 "2003-08-04T04:14:14Z")
Just makes me think of Momo punching the horse in Blazing Saddle! ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-grampa-stop-doing-that/192714/13 "2003-08-04T04:37:53Z")
> [@](#): > > Hope he heels as quickly as possible chique! There’s your problem right there – “Heel, Grandpa! Heel!” ---
**Author:** ![chique](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@chique](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chique)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-grampa-stop-doing-that/192714/14 "2003-08-05T02:31:15Z")
HA! **Jodi** , you’re a sweetie, but you know grampa not at all. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mycroft\_Holmes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a5b964/32.png) [@Mycroft\_Holmes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mycroft_Holmes)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-grampa-stop-doing-that/192714/15 "2003-08-05T07:15:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wyatt \* > \*\*Just makes me think of Momo punching the horse in Blazing Saddle! \*\* Momo? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Wyatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b19c9b/32.png) [@Wyatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wyatt)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-grampa-stop-doing-that/192714/16 "2003-08-05T18:17:51Z")
Blazing Saddles Cast: Alex Karras - **Mongo** :smack: