# Jesus is NOT a hydrogen-powered sports-car with VTOLthat gives blowjobs! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 16, 2002, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-is-not-a-hydrogen-powered-sports-car-with-vtolthat-gives-blowjobs/114415 "2002-06-16T23:09:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Tansu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@Tansu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tansu)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2002, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-is-not-a-hydrogen-powered-sports-car-with-vtolthat-gives-blowjobs/114415/21 "2002-06-17T11:03:48Z")
Damn it, **DeniseV** got in there first. ---
**Author:** ![Nenya\_Elizabeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ea5d25/32.png) [@Nenya\_Elizabeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nenya_Elizabeth)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2002, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-is-not-a-hydrogen-powered-sports-car-with-vtolthat-gives-blowjobs/114415/22 "2002-06-17T11:21:56Z")
Fenris, my friend, your quality continues to improve, though it has always been top-notch. I actually kind of like the “my boss…etc” one, though I can also see how it would be annoying. I’m sure it’s been overused, for one thing, and it can come across as sanctimonious by reason of trying NOT to be sanctimonious. At the least, he isn’t JUST a Jewish carpenter to the car-owner, so the sentiment is incomplete. Miller says it best, I suppose: > [@](#): > > Religous bumperstickers: It’s not that I don’t care about your religious convictions. I find it a fascinating subject and would love to have a conversation about it. But if all of your beliefs, hopes, and ideas about what life means and what happens afterward can be boiled down to one snarky little catchphrase, odds are that you aren’t worth the effort. **YES!!** **Fenris** , for the title alone, not to mention the “definition of progress !equal to Jesus” paragraph, I’m nominating this for Threadspotting. Can we do that for BBQ Pit threads? ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2002, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-is-not-a-hydrogen-powered-sports-car-with-vtolthat-gives-blowjobs/114415/23 "2002-06-17T12:05:39Z")
The first time I saw the “My Boss…Carpenter” sticker, I had absolutely no idea on Earth what it meant. I asked my husband why someone would put that on their car. He gave me a brief theology lesson and I “got it”. This is what happens when you aren’t raised with any religion at all- you end up saying “WHAT???” to most organized religious beliefs and rhetoric. (He also had to explain the “In case of rapture, this vehicle will be unoccupied” one. I’d never heard of “rapture”, except in the 80’s when Blondie did that song…) Zette ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2002, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-is-not-a-hydrogen-powered-sports-car-with-vtolthat-gives-blowjobs/114415/24 "2002-06-17T12:34:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by belladonna \* > \*\* > > So you have to request it specifically and put up with all the other crap that comes with it? > > Why am I not surprised? > > bella–🙂 \*\* Well, you get what you pay for. But if the salesman likes you, he can throw in the undercoating for free 😉 ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2002, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-is-not-a-hydrogen-powered-sports-car-with-vtolthat-gives-blowjobs/114415/25 "2002-06-17T13:25:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TwistofFate \* > \*\* > > On behalf of all the men I have to say, cunnilingus is the optional extra. \*\* I can only be glad your not really speaking for all men. I mean untill I can get my car to do it:) . ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2002, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-is-not-a-hydrogen-powered-sports-car-with-vtolthat-gives-blowjobs/114415/26 "2002-06-17T13:30:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TwistofFate \* > \*\* > On behalf of all the men I have to say, cunnilingus is the optional extra. \*\* And people say all the battles of feminism have been won and we are just wasting are time… The glass is half empty. (Does it at least come with someplace to put my purse? Other than the passenger’s lap). ---
**Author:** ![Swampwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Swampwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swampwolf)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2002, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-is-not-a-hydrogen-powered-sports-car-with-vtolthat-gives-blowjobs/114415/27 "2002-06-17T14:21:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dangerosa \* > \*\* > (Does it at least come with someplace to put my purse? Other than the passenger’s lap). \*\* Yes folks, we’re now introducing the 2003 models of _Jesus,_\* including the F series! [Lenny] But Homer, that’s a _Ladies’_ car![/Lenny] [sub]\*Brought to you by Christler Motors[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2002, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-is-not-a-hydrogen-powered-sports-car-with-vtolthat-gives-blowjobs/114415/28 "2002-06-17T14:29:45Z")
> [@](#): > > Does it at least come with someplace to put my purse? Other than the passenger’s lap. Yes dear. if you keep the bag on your lap, you can access your makeup quite easily. Remember to keep yourself looking pretty for the man while he’s driving. Its hard work driving a car, and a well made up face smiling back from the passenger seat while he does the mans job of driving the automobile. If he appears lost, don’t try to assist. Men instinctively know the correct way. If you’re one of theose Commie free thinking women who drive ( harrumph ) and need a place to put your handbag, I suggest pulling out the choke to hang your bag on. You may run out of gasolene quicker this way, so maybe it is best if you leave the driving to the nice menfolk! This has been a Chumney-Warner educational production. ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angel_of_the_lord/32/2949_2.png) [@Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_the_Lord)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2002, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-is-not-a-hydrogen-powered-sports-car-with-vtolthat-gives-blowjobs/114415/29 "2002-06-17T16:45:07Z")
Dear god, this thread is one of the funniest things I’ve ever read. However, let me add one more pet peeve sticker: Most Wiccan-affiliated bumper stickers. See, most of them are this obnoxious combination of purple and silver, which did NOT go with my car’s color, so I couldn’t buy them, since I’m really big on color coordination (If y’all ever see my desktop, it’d be really obvious). And even of those that did, they had mostly stupid phrases like: “My other car is a broomstick.” No, dear, your other car is an Impala, or maybe an Aerostar minivan. It is NOT a broomstick. Unless the magical arts have changed drastically since I last partook, broomstick flying is regulated to the _Wizard of Oz_ and _Harry Potter_. And, yes, _I_ know this, but the people who think that witches are evil, devil-worshipping no-goodniks don’t. They might think your other car is actually a broomstick. Yes, I get that it’s a joke…I just kinda don’t think it’s funny. ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2002, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-is-not-a-hydrogen-powered-sports-car-with-vtolthat-gives-blowjobs/114415/30 "2002-06-17T17:21:10Z")
I’m going to go get a job working for a Jewish carpenter, and then get the sticker: “My boss is a Jewish carpenter – Saul Lieberman, Lieberman & Sons Construction.” And then I’m going to get one of those fish shapes, except rather than saying “JESUS” it’ll say “YUMMY FISH”. I like fish, especially with a little lemon. ---
**Author:** ![ElwoodCuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/edb3f5/32.png) [@ElwoodCuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElwoodCuse)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2002, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-is-not-a-hydrogen-powered-sports-car-with-vtolthat-gives-blowjobs/114415/31 "2002-06-18T15:48:47Z")
Check out today’s Something Awful (link in sig). It’s a pretty hilarious summary of religion. ---
**Author:** ![eccentric](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f9ae1b/32.png) [@eccentric](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eccentric)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2002, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-is-not-a-hydrogen-powered-sports-car-with-vtolthat-gives-blowjobs/114415/32 "2002-10-07T05:18:53Z")
On the road 10 months a year; I enjoy stupid bumber stickers. I don’t even care what they say; it breaks the monotony. Where ever you go you only find the same radio stations, playing the same tired music. Unless of course you are passing through a college town with a college radio station. Anyway, one of the best I’ve seen is “Politics and Religion have killed more then any Individual.” ---
**Author:** ![RexDart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b77776/32.png) [@RexDart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RexDart)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2002, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-is-not-a-hydrogen-powered-sports-car-with-vtolthat-gives-blowjobs/114415/33 "2002-10-07T06:20:25Z")
How is somebody’s _first_ post, somebody who registered just this month, a 4 month old bump? I mean, what leads a person to seek out a thread on bumper stickers, and then to bump it 4 months posthumously? How _eccentric_. And _how_, **eccentric**? ---
**Author:** ![Farren](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbce88/32.png) [@Farren](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farren)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2002, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-is-not-a-hydrogen-powered-sports-car-with-vtolthat-gives-blowjobs/114415/34 "2002-10-07T07:51:19Z")
Probably because the thread made Threadspotting today. ---
**Author:** ![RexDart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b77776/32.png) [@RexDart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RexDart)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2002, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-is-not-a-hydrogen-powered-sports-car-with-vtolthat-gives-blowjobs/114415/35 "2002-10-07T07:57:06Z")
Is that a good reason to bump it, though? Anyway, I guess I so often bypass the first page I didn’t notice. Pretty much, I leave a browser window up on the Pit and GD just about 24/7. ---
**Author:** ![Soup\_du\_jour](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Soup\_du\_jour](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soup_du_jour)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2002, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-is-not-a-hydrogen-powered-sports-car-with-vtolthat-gives-blowjobs/114415/36 "2002-10-07T08:10:31Z")
Maybe the thread was Googled. I dunno. Welcome to the boards, **eccentric**! ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2002, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-is-not-a-hydrogen-powered-sports-car-with-vtolthat-gives-blowjobs/114415/37 "2002-10-07T08:25:56Z")
A hydrogen-powered car? Have we learned NOTHING from the failures of the Nazis? Oh, the humanity! ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2002, 8:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-is-not-a-hydrogen-powered-sports-car-with-vtolthat-gives-blowjobs/114415/38 "2002-10-07T08:28:31Z")
Of all the threads that DO get bumped, this one is most certainly not one of those that shouldn’t have been. Teehee… Adam and Steve… ---
**Author:** ![Toaster52](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/50afbb/32.png) [@Toaster52](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toaster52)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2002, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-is-not-a-hydrogen-powered-sports-car-with-vtolthat-gives-blowjobs/114415/39 "2002-10-07T13:00:42Z")
quote: “Catholitic converter” Geez, I spewed coffee all over my keyboard. Thanks a lot… ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2002, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-is-not-a-hydrogen-powered-sports-car-with-vtolthat-gives-blowjobs/114415/40 "2002-10-07T13:21:00Z")
How about a sanctimonious one ala Chevy Chase; I’m a Christian, and youre not! Not to hijack, but I passed a church yesterday that had lots of little white crosses in its grounds. For all the dead aborted babies!(42 million so far according to the sign) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-is-not-a-hydrogen-powered-sports-car-with-vtolthat-gives-blowjobs/114415.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-is-not-a-hydrogen-powered-sports-car-with-vtolthat-gives-blowjobs/114415.md?page=3)