# Jesus is NOT a hydrogen-powered sports-car with VTOLthat gives blowjobs! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 16, 2002, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-is-not-a-hydrogen-powered-sports-car-with-vtolthat-gives-blowjobs/114415 "2002-06-16T23:09:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2002, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-is-not-a-hydrogen-powered-sports-car-with-vtolthat-gives-blowjobs/114415/81 "2002-10-12T04:48:51Z")
While we’re on the topic of dumb bumperstickers, rather than me and my brilliant OP (and why aren’t we? 😉 ) how 'bout the utterly idiotic one: **Mean People Suck** Um…well, duh. Way to take a stand on a morally tough issue, dude. How 'bout going out on a limb and saying “Hitler was bad” or “Nun-Beating is wrong”? (Of course, if this is some sort of bitterly ironic commentary or a riff from a movie or something, I’m gonna be embarrassed. But at face value, it’s possibly the most vapid bumpersticker in the history of mankind…um…with the possible exception of **Nuclear war hurts people and other living things**. :rolleyes: The other one that just drives me bugfuck and if I _were_ a psycho, I’d follow people with this bumpersticker until they got out of their car and beat them with a baseball bat with nails in it whilst making them repeat “Being smart is GOOD” over and over. (Lucky for everyone, I’m as gentle as a lamb, innit? 😉 ) : **My kid beat up your honor student** or the even less charming varient **My kid beat your &@\*#ing honor student 'till he cried** (which I just saw on a trip to New Mexico). What kind of asshole denigrates intellectual achievement? Like I said: if I weren’t the soul of gentility (and I am) I’d happily commit acts of grevious violence against these troglodytes. Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2002, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-is-not-a-hydrogen-powered-sports-car-with-vtolthat-gives-blowjobs/114415/82 "2002-10-12T06:31:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fenris \* > \*\*While we’re on the topic of dumb bumperstickers, rather than me and my brilliant OP (and why aren’t we? 😉 ) how 'bout the utterly idiotic one: > > \*\* The other one that just drives me bugfuck and if I _were_ a psycho, I’d follow people with this bumpersticker until they got out of their car and beat them with a baseball bat with nails in it whilst making them repeat “Being smart is GOOD” over and over. (Lucky for everyone, I’m as gentle as a lamb, innit? 😉 ) : > > Fenris \*\* Better yet, “I’d rather be smart than ugly” would work too. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2002, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-is-not-a-hydrogen-powered-sports-car-with-vtolthat-gives-blowjobs/114415/83 "2002-10-12T18:08:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Miller \* > \*\ ***Shodan** : It means Good, without God, equal zero. In other words, no matter how good a person you are in life, you still go to Hell if you don’t pay a little lip service to the Big Beard. \*\* I read the 0 as an O, and it didn’t make any sense. 10Q. My favorite bumper sticker is still “Ignore previous bumper sticker”. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2003, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-is-not-a-hydrogen-powered-sports-car-with-vtolthat-gives-blowjobs/114415/84 "2003-08-27T05:58:02Z")
On a solid red bumper sticker: If this sticker is blue, you’re driving too fast. Vegetarian is an old Indian word for “bad hunter” If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change. All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand. A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2003, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-is-not-a-hydrogen-powered-sports-car-with-vtolthat-gives-blowjobs/114415/85 "2003-08-27T06:20:37Z")
Wow, I forgot all about this thread. You know, I think my first post on the previous page is one of the best I ever made on the boards. And on this page: one of the worst. ---
**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2003, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-is-not-a-hydrogen-powered-sports-car-with-vtolthat-gives-blowjobs/114415/86 "2003-08-27T18:39:27Z")
Huh. I guess it takes 10 1/2 months or so for the hamsters to get a post all the way to Oz. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2003, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-is-not-a-hydrogen-powered-sports-car-with-vtolthat-gives-blowjobs/114415/87 "2003-08-27T20:28:09Z")
Looks like Jesus is [a beat-up Chevy station wagon](http://www.neth.de/Pics/Boston/jpg/Jesus_car2.html). ---
**Author:** ![Qazzz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/aeb1de/32.png) [@Qazzz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qazzz)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2003, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-is-not-a-hydrogen-powered-sports-car-with-vtolthat-gives-blowjobs/114415/88 "2003-08-27T20:50:02Z")
Jesus, those bumper stickers get on my nerves. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2003, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-is-not-a-hydrogen-powered-sports-car-with-vtolthat-gives-blowjobs/114415/89 "2003-08-27T21:24:48Z")
**Fenris** the anti “my kid is an honour student” bumper stickers are not against a respect for inteligence, they are against the fact that someone is so conceited that they would put a sticker on their car saying their kid does well at school. It would be all right if the good kid stickers were all for significant achievements, but they seem to be available for just about anything. ---
**Author:** ![PigArcher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bcef8e/32.png) [@PigArcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PigArcher)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2003, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-is-not-a-hydrogen-powered-sports-car-with-vtolthat-gives-blowjobs/114415/90 "2003-08-27T23:08:47Z")
[Peggy Hill] Yeah, well my kid is god to billions of Asians! [/Peggy Hill] ---
**Author:** ![Inoshiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a9adbd/32.png) [@Inoshiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inoshiro)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-is-not-a-hydrogen-powered-sports-car-with-vtolthat-gives-blowjobs/114415/91 "2003-08-28T13:23:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Brutus \* > \*\*You know, the rest of your post is pretty much lost onme, but you are really onto something with the Robot Monkey Butler idea. _WINGED_ Robot Monkey Butlers would be about as good as heaven on earth, I imagine. \*\* \Look, all I want is some frickin’ Robot Monkey Butlers with laaaaaaaaaaaasers on their heads! \ ---
**Author:** ![trabi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecae2f/32.png) [@trabi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/trabi)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-is-not-a-hydrogen-powered-sports-car-with-vtolthat-gives-blowjobs/114415/92 "2003-08-28T13:55:18Z")
But he DOES have [VTOL](http://www.cc-art.com/sampler/Photoart/html/resurre4.HTM#anchorPic5)🆒 ---
**Author:** ![LilyoftheValley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@LilyoftheValley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilyoftheValley)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2003, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-is-not-a-hydrogen-powered-sports-car-with-vtolthat-gives-blowjobs/114415/93 "2003-08-29T04:38:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jeff Olsen \* > \*\*Looks like Jesus is [a beat-up Chevy station wagon](http://www.neth.de/Pics/Boston/jpg/Jesus_car2.html). \*\* Holy cow! I used to see that car all the time. Thanks for the flashback. :rolleyes: I guess it’s true that everything is on the internet. ---
**Author:** ![Windwalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/5e9695/32.png) [@Windwalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Windwalker)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2003, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-is-not-a-hydrogen-powered-sports-car-with-vtolthat-gives-blowjobs/114415/94 "2003-08-29T06:00:39Z")
I once saw a bumpster sticker that said “I am gay and proud of it!” or something very similar. Now, I am a firm believer in gay rights (marriage, yadda yadda), but isn’t this just asking for trouble? ---
**Author:** ![trabi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecae2f/32.png) [@trabi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/trabi)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2003, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-is-not-a-hydrogen-powered-sports-car-with-vtolthat-gives-blowjobs/114415/95 "2003-08-29T06:19:44Z")
My favourite bumber sticker (actually attached to the inside of the back windscreen of a battered old Mini): “I wanted a Lamborghini Countache, but I couldn’t pronounce it.” ---
**Author:** ![Mariemarie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/58f4c7/32.png) [@Mariemarie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mariemarie)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2003, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-is-not-a-hydrogen-powered-sports-car-with-vtolthat-gives-blowjobs/114415/96 "2003-08-29T07:25:57Z")
“Robot Monkey Butlers”… band name! 😉 I can’t believe no one has said that in this thread yet in over a year! ---
**Author:** ![kferr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/71e660/32.png) [@kferr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kferr)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2003, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-is-not-a-hydrogen-powered-sports-car-with-vtolthat-gives-blowjobs/114415/97 "2003-08-29T11:34:19Z")
Come on guys, this is 2003! Instead of Flying **Robot** Monkey Butlers, we need Flying \*\*Genetically Engineered \*\* Monkey Butler **Clones**! ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2003, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-is-not-a-hydrogen-powered-sports-car-with-vtolthat-gives-blowjobs/114415/98 "2003-08-29T12:17:42Z")
With… 1920’s style death rays on their heads? ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2003, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-is-not-a-hydrogen-powered-sports-car-with-vtolthat-gives-blowjobs/114415/99 "2003-08-29T15:30:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\*With… 1920’s style death rays on their heads? \*\* No… In their _eyes!_ ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2003, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-is-not-a-hydrogen-powered-sports-car-with-vtolthat-gives-blowjobs/114415/100 "2003-08-29T16:44:43Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **Miller** _ > > However, I did just want to put the word out to the guy I saw the other day driving a Honda with _sixteen_ different rainbow stickers on the back: Dude, there’s such a thing as too much pride. Never! :mad: 🆒 😉 😃 :eek: 😕 (My current car has a rainbow squiggly and a plush Stitch in the rear window. My old car, however, had a rainbow license plate in the front, a pink triangle with rainbow beads hanging from the rear view mirror, and a pink triangle, rainbow sticker and rainbow cowboy boot [plus a UU sticker and SCA sticker] on the back. It was called the Fagmobile. I used to joke that I was going to paint a charicature of Oscar Wilde on the roof so that low-flying aircraft would know I was a homosexual.) Esprix [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-is-not-a-hydrogen-powered-sports-car-with-vtolthat-gives-blowjobs/114415.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-is-not-a-hydrogen-powered-sports-car-with-vtolthat-gives-blowjobs/114415.md?page=6)