# Jesus Loves You **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 8, 2002, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-loves-you/117901 "2002-07-08T13:14:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-loves-you/117901/21 "2002-07-09T02:15:03Z")
Jesus Loves My Cat (I am seriously thinking of having bumperstickers with this made up…I just like it.) ---
**Author:** ![Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/2bfe46/32.png) [@Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xavier)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-loves-you/117901/22 "2002-07-09T02:16:11Z")
> [@](#): > > Jesus doesn’t love me. > > He never calls. > > He never writes. > > He always made me buy dinner. > > And, honestly, the sex was lousy. Hey, let the kid be. His mamma had relationship issues and he got nailed for speaking the Truth. ---
**Author:** ![butter\_pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@butter\_pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butter_pie)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-loves-you/117901/23 "2002-07-09T02:28:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jackelope \* > **My problem with taking any firmly held belief and putting it onto a t-shirt or a bumper sticker is that it trivializes your belief by bringing an al-ecompassing faith in God’s grandeur down to the level of a fondness for the Beatles. Or He-Man.** Come on man… it’s the _Beatles_… the _ **Beatles** _… I usually just start talking about how attractive I find Jesus, and the reason I keep those 99-cent candles with him looking all adorably sullen and holy right next to my bed. They quit botherin’ me real quick. I have a picture of John Lennon by my bed, too. ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-loves-you/117901/24 "2002-07-09T05:36:27Z")
It’s better than ‘You know, you’re going to hell!’ isn’t it? I’d rather no-one believed in any sort of god without good reason (other than in me), but I prefer the god’s-a-nice-person-and-loves-us to: “God smash!” WWJD? JWRTFM! ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-loves-you/117901/25 "2002-07-09T05:41:31Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by jackelope > My problem with taking any firmly held belief and putting it onto a t-shirt or a bumper sticker is that it trivializes your belief by bringing an al-ecompassing faith in God’s grandeur down to the level of a fondness for the Beatles. Or He-Man. I think there are many of us who love The Beatles more than we love Jesus. WWJD? (What Would John Do) ---
**Author:** ![Xan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/ac8455/32.png) [@Xan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xan)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-loves-you/117901/26 "2002-07-09T05:52:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shade \* > \*\* > WWJD? > JWRTFM! \*\* What does that mean? ---
**Author:** ![happyheathen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5e925/32.png) [@happyheathen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happyheathen)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-loves-you/117901/27 "2002-07-09T06:05:27Z")
Jesus loves me. Luckily, I live in California, so it’s legal… ---
**Author:** ![Fred](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/db5fbb/32.png) [@Fred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fred)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-loves-you/117901/28 "2002-07-09T06:45:43Z")
I assume it’s “Jesus Would Read The Fucking Manual” JWLOL. ---
**Author:** ![widdershins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f0a364/32.png) [@widdershins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/widdershins)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-loves-you/117901/29 "2002-07-09T07:15:27Z")
Jesus Loves You. So he swallows instead of spits then. ---
**Author:** ![Antimanics](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/71c47a/32.png) [@Antimanics](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antimanics)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-loves-you/117901/30 "2002-07-09T07:26:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by auntie em \* > \*\*How about “Jesus wants to kick your ass”? \*\* If it were on a shirt, I’d buy it. ---
**Author:** ![FallenAngel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@FallenAngel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FallenAngel)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-loves-you/117901/31 "2002-07-09T07:29:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shade \* > \*\*It’s better than ‘You know, you’re going to hell!’ isn’t it? > > I’d rather no-one believed in any sort of god without good reason (other than in me), but I prefer the god’s-a-nice-person-and-loves-us to: “God smash!” > > WWJD? > JWRTFM! \*\* I have one that says, “I know I’m going to Hell. Please fuck off.” It tends to provide discomfort to the missionaries who come knocking on my door. I’m just waiting for the time when I hear the doorbell, throw on that shirt and it’s a deputy sheriff or something rather than a nice annoying biblethumper. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-loves-you/117901/32 "2002-07-09T07:44:48Z")
I think the reason that such trash is so annoying is the implied emotional blackmail. There is this hint of “Jesus loves you, don’t you think that if he loves you, you at least owe him the courtesy of believing in him and/or reforming your sinful life?” Or am I reading too much into this? ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 9:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-loves-you/117901/33 "2002-07-09T09:30:57Z")
I always took it as a sort of “Look at me! I’m a Christian!” kind of thing. I’d measure my faith against anyone’s, but the only places I’d wear my one Christian t-shirt are on church retreats and when doing something public with the church. My theory is, if I have to tell someone, I’m a Christian, I’m not doing a very good job of it. (I know, I know, so why do I keep bringing it up here?) CJ ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 9:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-loves-you/117901/34 "2002-07-09T09:39:04Z")
Jesus hates me. ---
**Author:** ![CRorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CRorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CRorex)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-loves-you/117901/35 "2002-07-09T14:41:57Z")
I’m reminded of what a friend of mine said to his devout roman catholic gf. This was after he went to his first mass. “Ok, so you swallow part of Jesus’s body, and its all dry and crunchy, but you won’t swallow me and I’m all warm and salty?” More or less, it was pretty funny in context. It was even funnier when he turned away from her to take another swallow of his beer and the text book she threw hit the back of his head knocking him out of the chair 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-loves-you/117901/36 "2002-07-11T01:35:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jackelope \* > **I also saw a t-shirt once, worn by someone who was at a baseball game with a church group, that said, “Gonna live forever if the good die young.” A bunch of the group-members were wearing these shirts, and had obviously had them printed for some occasion. Why would a church group advertise being bad? (Please don’t suggest that it was some kind of tacit acknowledgement of the stain of original sin that we all carry within us; Southern Baptists are not, as a rule, that theologically sophisticated.)** It might have been meant to imply that “saved” people live forever after death, while non-saved people die and that’s it. But it’s still a half-assed sentiment. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-loves-you/117901/37 "2002-07-11T02:04:55Z")
I keep telling Jesus that I just want to be friends. ---
**Author:** ![peasea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bc79bd/32.png) [@peasea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peasea)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-loves-you/117901/38 "2002-07-11T13:45:27Z")
> [@](#): > > ## quote: > > ## Originally posted by auntie em How about “Jesus wants to kick your ass”? > > If it were on a shirt, I’d buy it. Me too. Auntie em, you should send that to [http://www.tshirthell.com/hell.htm](http://www.tshirthell.com/hell.htm) They pay for twisted t-shirt ideas. ---
**Author:** ![robertliguori](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/46a35a/32.png) [@robertliguori](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robertliguori)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-loves-you/117901/39 "2002-07-11T15:09:19Z")
[rant] Look, why to do you people feel the need to advertise so much? We live in 2002. That means that we have heard you message. And Allah’s message. And Buddha’s message. And even G-d’s message, if we have the right kind of friends. That means that having the equivilent of pop-up ads in meatspace is not going to tell us anything we don’t already know. Either we already have a religion, and your conversion attempts won’t help, or we have wethered the storm of proterilyzation with our iron-hard scepticism intact. Either way, we don’t need to hear from you. [/rant] ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-loves-you/117901/40 "2002-07-11T15:33:19Z")
I dunno. I often wear Grateful Dead tee shirts, in the hopes that some other Deadhead will walk up to me and say “Hey, wanna trade tapes? I’ve got a smooth soundboard of that asskick May '71 show at Fillmore East you’ve been dying to find, the one where Pigpen got loaded and fell off the stage during the second set ‘Lovelight.’” Maybe these Christians advertise their mystical preferences in order to get invited over for fresh brownies and milk by other Christians. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-loves-you/117901.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-loves-you/117901.md?page=3)