# Jesus-man! He's everywhere!! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 22, 2007, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-man-hes-everywhere/423529 "2007-10-22T01:46:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2007, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-man-hes-everywhere/423529/21 "2007-10-22T04:12:50Z")
Fans of Mojo Nixon already know that Elvis is everywhere…no surprise that Jesus is ubiquitous, too. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2007, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-man-hes-everywhere/423529/22 "2007-10-22T04:42:55Z")
[QUOTE=asterion] I love the way the OP wrote it, though. Jesus-Man, Jesus-Man, Does whatever a deity can, Takes your sins, any size, Appears on items of many kinds, Look out! Here comes the Jesus-Man! [/QUOTE] Congratulations, sir! You’ve just justified my $7 in full. ---
**Author:** ![Pazu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pazu/32/15522_2.png) [@Pazu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pazu)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2007, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-man-hes-everywhere/423529/23 "2007-10-22T05:34:41Z")
[QUOTE=eleanorigby] I think that the next time I see anything in a towel or pond or pasta, I’m going to make it Vishnu or Buddha or Mary Tyler Moore. Just to mix things up a bit… [/QUOTE] Oddly enough, I _always_ see the Flying Spaghetti Monster in my pasta. I’m sure this must mean something… ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2007, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-man-hes-everywhere/423529/24 "2007-10-22T07:04:36Z")
Towel Jesus looks more like Edward Everett Horton to me. I like how the woman plans to keep the towel “in her prayer room.” Which she evidently had set up already, just in case something of this sort might happen, I guess. I get the feeling that, sooner or later, this woman was going to find an image of Jesus on something, dammit. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2007, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-man-hes-everywhere/423529/25 "2007-10-22T07:25:40Z")
I-i-i-i dunno. Could be [Gibran\*.](http://www.sygnetswans.com/Gibran_1.gif) OTOH, it could also be [Albran](http://g-images.amazon.com/images/G/01/ciu/30/8f/1c5f224128a06dc11b4e5010._AA240_.L.jpg). I get those two mixed up sometimes… \*or the Wizard of Oz. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2007, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-man-hes-everywhere/423529/26 "2007-10-22T07:37:05Z")
[QUOTE=danceswithcats] Do you have an inspired ferret who whispers divine truths in your ear? Neat. Just do the rest of the world a favor and STFU about it, OK? [/QUOTE] The ferret thinks you’re just jealous. ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2007, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-man-hes-everywhere/423529/27 "2007-10-22T07:47:24Z")
I looked at the towel; I saw a face – a thin, weathered face clean of facial hair, with blank hollow eyes and lips twisted into a lopsided grimace. So yeah, Willem Dafoe played Jesus once, but I don’t think that Lucy or her towel saw “The Last Temptation of Christ.” ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2007, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-man-hes-everywhere/423529/28 "2007-10-22T08:05:02Z")
> [@](#): > > **lobstermobster** : my fellow nashvillians may remember the Nun Bun. Those were heady times. She ascended on Christmas Eve as best I remember. I wonder if her photo is still up in the Hillsboro Village Post Office. Her disappearance really eats at me. **Zeldar** and I both heard a neighborhood dog talking yesterday afternoon. First it was barking and then it said something and we both laughed out loud. Actually, it was singing. I recognized the song at the time, but I’ve forgotten what it was now. Maybe it’ll come to me. Maybe it was _Spirit in the Sky_. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![crowmanyclouds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crowmanyclouds/32/19884_2.png) [@crowmanyclouds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crowmanyclouds)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2007, 9:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-man-hes-everywhere/423529/29 "2007-10-22T09:12:54Z")
[QUOTE=The Sonoran Lizard King] It’s a full figure Jesus, side on. … [/QUOTE] Yup, that’s what I [saw](http://arbroath.blogspot.com/2007/10/woman-says-image-of-jesus-appeared-on.html) too. [Third](http://www.catholic.org/clife/prayers/station.php?id=3) station of the cross, Jesus falls the first time. What I don’t get is why I, non-Christian, see that but Mrs Lopez only sees crying Jesus with a black eye 😕 . CMC+fnord! ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2007, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-man-hes-everywhere/423529/30 "2007-10-22T11:14:21Z")
[QUOTE=Pazu] Oddly enough, I _always_ see the Flying Spaghetti Monster in my pasta. [/QUOTE] Yeah well I’ve got an image of the Invisible Pink Unicorn burned into my living room wall. Of course you can’t see it, but it’s there. Tickets still available. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2007, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-man-hes-everywhere/423529/31 "2007-10-22T12:10:17Z")
[QUOTE=Terrifel] Towel Jesus looks more like Edward Everett Horton to me. [/QUOTE] Actually, I’d say [Edward Everett Tanner](http://bookweb.kinokuniya.co.jp/bimgdata/FC0312246552.JPG) (a.k.a. Patrick Dennis), actually… ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2007, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-man-hes-everywhere/423529/32 "2007-10-22T12:30:10Z")
Reliquary-makers need jobs, too, and people aren’t lining up around the block to see genuine scrapings from St. Cletus’ avulsed colon. Luckily for the pious, the True Cross was approximately 900,000 lbs and made from the wood of no fewer than six dozen varieties of tree. People were tough back then. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2007, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-man-hes-everywhere/423529/33 "2007-10-22T13:14:08Z")
[QUOTE=yams!!] I ran for my camera - and unfortunately, in my haste, stepped directly on the nose of The Lord. [/QUOTE] I need to use that in a poem. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2007, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-man-hes-everywhere/423529/34 "2007-10-22T13:20:55Z")
[QUOTE=Derleth] Luckily for the pious, the True Cross was approximately 900,000 lbs and made from the wood of no fewer than six dozen varieties of tree. [/QUOTE] Well, yeah. What’s your [point](http://www.roadsideamerica.com/attract/OHMONjesus.html)? ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2007, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-man-hes-everywhere/423529/35 "2007-10-22T13:54:11Z")
I see London I see France I see Jesus in your soiled underpants. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2007, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-man-hes-everywhere/423529/36 "2007-10-22T13:56:22Z")
I always heard tell Jesus was a big man in his day–now we have proof! (not quite getting his _Carrie_ impression, though–this Jesus man must be deep). Seeing the Flying Spaghetti Monster in pasta is soooo mundane. Are you sure you’ve never seen it in say a gumball machine or the tools and hardware section of Home Depot? That’d make a believer outta me. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2007, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-man-hes-everywhere/423529/37 "2007-10-22T14:02:44Z")
[QUOTE=OtakuLoki] (Is that a picture of the dog that’s talking to **lobstermobster**? It would explain so much.) [/QUOTE] Yeah, it is, but I think the dog is just talking out of its ass, personally. ---
**Author:** ![lobstermobster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobstermobster/32/10033_2.png) [@lobstermobster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobstermobster)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2007, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-man-hes-everywhere/423529/38 "2007-10-22T14:04:40Z")
[QUOTE=Zoe] She ascended on Christmas Eve as best I remember. I wonder if her photo is still up in the Hillsboro Village Post Office. Her disappearance really eats at me. **Zeldar** and I both heard a neighborhood dog talking yesterday afternoon. First it was barking and then it said something and we both laughed out loud. Actually, it was singing. I recognized the song at the time, but I’ve forgotten what it was now. Maybe it’ll come to me. Maybe it was _Spirit in the Sky_. 😃 [/QUOTE] A quick google search leads me to believe that nun bun was stolen and reappeared in Seattle. At least she wasn’t eaten by godless pagans. I remember going to see her at Bongo Java after school when she was still named after Mother Theresa. I cant believe Mama T actually got into the press to voice her disappointment of being a bun. I would love to be a bun! ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2007, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-man-hes-everywhere/423529/39 "2007-10-22T14:50:09Z")
I would like to see this bun. If I see with my own eyes, it must be true. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2007, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-man-hes-everywhere/423529/40 "2007-10-22T14:58:48Z")
I can’t decide whether this is Jesus or South Carolina: ```auto XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXX XX XX XXXXXXX XX XX XXX X X XXXX XXX XXXX XXXXXXX XXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXX XXXX ``` [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-man-hes-everywhere/423529.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-man-hes-everywhere/423529.md?page=3)