# Jesus? No, that's the Unabomber! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 21, 2002, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-no-thats-the-unabomber/115329 "2002-06-21T20:14:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2002, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-no-thats-the-unabomber/115329/1 "2002-06-21T20:14:59Z")
While wandering through Ollies today, I came across a childrens book about Jesus. What scared me was the [cover art](http://fff.fathom.org/pages/Walcher/Jesus.JPG). Is that not the creepiest Jesus you’ve ever seen? That’s a Jesus from a universe where the fire-and-brimstone God of the Old Testament did NOT change to a God of love and compassion. That’s a Jesus who revels in the screams of sinners as he gleefully tortures them for their sins, probobly assisted by [King David](http://fff.fathom.org/pages/Walcher/KingDavid.JPG). Brrrrrr! I bet that book gives little Christian kids nightmares! [Bart Simpson] Can’t sleep, Jesus will eat me! [/Bart Simpson] ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2002, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-no-thats-the-unabomber/115329/2 "2002-06-21T20:25:41Z")
I feel like I’m on acid and looking at an old Planet of the Apes promo. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2002, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-no-thats-the-unabomber/115329/3 "2002-06-21T20:28:13Z")
Thanks a bunch, WD. The window in which that link launched as a small window so I had to scroll to see the artist’s rendition of Jesus. I jumped when I got to his smile. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2002, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-no-thats-the-unabomber/115329/4 "2002-06-21T23:50:55Z")
Jesus and David seemed to have attended the Julia Roberts plastic surgery center… 😃 Ranchoth (Appropriatly enough “Toccata and Fuge” (sp?) came on my CD player when that Jesus window opened.) ---
**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2002, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-no-thats-the-unabomber/115329/5 "2002-06-22T00:05:17Z")
Jesus Makes a Major Comeback. For some reason that struck the ole’ funny bone just right. ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2002, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-no-thats-the-unabomber/115329/6 "2002-06-22T00:32:16Z")
Doesn’t that David look as if he might be “simple”? ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2002, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-no-thats-the-unabomber/115329/7 "2002-06-22T01:23:43Z")
No, he doesn’t look “simple”. He looks like the uppers were very good though. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2002, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-no-thats-the-unabomber/115329/8 "2002-06-22T02:21:17Z")
It’s Special Jesus!!! Or is it Lobotomy Jesus? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2002, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-no-thats-the-unabomber/115329/9 "2002-06-22T02:24:24Z")
King David needs to go easy on the blow comb. ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2002, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-no-thats-the-unabomber/115329/10 "2002-06-22T02:34:21Z")
I’m really REALLY tired of Christian bashing. Just for your information. And don’t bother telling me that isn’t what this was, because it WAS. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2002, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-no-thats-the-unabomber/115329/11 "2002-06-22T02:49:58Z")
> [@](#): > > I’m really REALLY tired of Christian bashing. Just for your information. And don’t bother telling me that isn’t what this was, because it WAS. Scotty, with all due respect, I’m Christian and kind of touchy on the bashing thing myself (really – ask around). And I admit I read the OP suspiciously. But that picture . . . c’mon. It’s so frighteningly awful it’s funny – and part of what makes it funny is that it’s such a surpassingly terrible picture of someone who’s supposed to be the embodiment of goodness and beauty. I L’ed, I admit it. I LOL’ed. I came close to L’ing MAO. And I doubt very serious Dave mean it as a bash. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2002, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-no-thats-the-unabomber/115329/12 "2002-06-22T03:38:45Z")
Both Jesus and David look like they’ve got Perma-Grin[sup]TM[/sup] from a strong hit of acid! The Jesus picture is particularly amusing to me as he looks like a friend of mine who died of AIDS who no doubt would _love_ the fact that a children’s book about Jesus had a Christ that looked like him! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2002, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-no-thats-the-unabomber/115329/13 "2002-06-22T03:44:16Z")
Jesus on a stick, but Jesus is looking mighty prozaced out, isn’t he? Is it just me, or do a lot of crazy people sport beards? Manson, the Unabomber apparently, John Walker Lindh…and maybe Jesus wasn’t considered such a straight arrow back in HIS day. ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2002, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-no-thats-the-unabomber/115329/14 "2002-06-22T04:01:06Z")
Scotticher, my OP was about a freaky picture. I said nothing about Christians at all. Nothing. ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2002, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-no-thats-the-unabomber/115329/15 "2002-06-22T04:08:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jodi \* > \*\* > > Scotty, with all due respect, I’m Christian and kind of touchy on the bashing thing myself (really – ask around). And I admit I read the OP suspiciously. \*\* **Jodi** …I have never really interacted with you, so may I take this opportunity to say hello and I enjoy your posts? I am a Christian. Not the best Christian in the world, I know. But …I have become increasingly upset with the fact that on this board…this board that I love…Christians are treated like idiots. I ranted on this subject on the UnaBoard. I wish I could link this, but you have to be a member to see it. Rightfully so, since only personal things are allowed in certain forum there. And this was a very personal rant for me. I know I am not really ever going to change anything. I just…well, I just hope that maybe someday, sometime, someone will see the love of Christ in ME and that they will be moved to look further into my faith. It is not my job to convert anyone. It is my job to live my life in such a way that I exhibit the love of Christ. I attempt to do that. I know I FAIL, but believe me…I try. ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2002, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-no-thats-the-unabomber/115329/16 "2002-06-22T04:17:02Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by Weirddave \* \*\*Scotticher, my OP was about a freaky picture. I said nothing about Christians at all. Nothing. \*\*[/QUOTE I’m sorry, Dave. My apologies. ---
**Author:** ![Victory\_Candescence](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Victory\_Candescence](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Victory_Candescence)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2002, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-no-thats-the-unabomber/115329/17 "2002-06-22T04:19:56Z")
In reference to the “Planet of the Apes” / “Jesus” reference: “Damn you! Damn you all!” ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2002, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-no-thats-the-unabomber/115329/18 "2002-06-22T06:23:03Z")
> [@](#): > > Jodi…I have never really interacted with you, so may I take this opportunity to say hello and I enjoy your posts? Right back atcha, Scottie. 🙂 > [@](#): > > I am a Christian. Not the best Christian in the world, I know. But …I have become increasingly upset with the fact that on this board…this board that I love…Christians are treated like idiots. Yeah, sometimes they are. There are some people who are very disrespectful of Christians and Christianity around here, and it sure can seem like we get more than our share of grief. In fact, I just posted to that effect in POLYCARP’s thread in the Pit. I know there are posters who’ll take a meanspirited swipe at Christianity at every opportunity, but I think you’ll find that WEIRDDAVE is not one of them. That’s all. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ageless6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de053/32.png) [@ageless6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ageless6)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2002, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-no-thats-the-unabomber/115329/19 "2002-06-22T06:36:02Z")
Back to the OP: Go ahead, sin. Make my day! ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2002, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-no-thats-the-unabomber/115329/20 "2002-06-22T07:46:52Z")
Shave the beard, and he could be a quarterback for Nebraska, or a motivational speaker. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-no-thats-the-unabomber/115329.md?page=2)