# Jesus v.s. Moses -- Part I **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 16, 2004, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-v-s-moses-part-i/234593 "2004-03-16T05:28:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![SSgtBaloo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@SSgtBaloo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSgtBaloo)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2004, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-v-s-moses-part-i/234593/1 "2004-03-16T05:28:25Z")
I was looking around the new Hastings bookstore (we had one that went out of business in 1994 – they just got around to putting a new one in) and over in the electronic games section, they have figurines from various shows. There were two that caught my eye almost immediately. Prominently displayed among the Simpsons, Dragonball Z and King of the Hill figures are the **Jesus Action Figure** and, on the peg below, the **Moses Action Figure**. After I picked my jaw off the floor I almost had to leave the store because of the insane cackline I was about to unleash, brought about by the absurd possibilities such playthings would afford their young owners: “Oh, yeah? Well Jesus runs across the lake to tackle your Moses!” “Not so fast! While Jesus is running across the water, Moses parts it so Jesus falls in and drowns!” “No he doesn’t! He turns the water into wine and drinks his way out!” “He can’t do that!” “Yes he can!” [Fistfight commences] Has anyone else seen these toys? Are there 12 Apostles for Jesus and perhaps some Patriarchs for Moses? Possibly there’s a Satan Action Figure and his minions of evil! Are these Actin figures tied in to some show I’ve (obviously) never heard of? The whole concept of even just Jesus and Moses as action figures strikes me as almost criminally absurd. I love it! –SSgtBaloo ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2004, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-v-s-moses-part-i/234593/2 "2004-03-16T05:37:23Z")
Was it [this](http://www.trainupachild.com/cgi-bin/shopnow.cgi?ACTION=thispage&thispage=orig-figures.html&ORDER_ID=195438000) set? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2004, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-v-s-moses-part-i/234593/3 "2004-03-16T05:48:44Z")
\ Are they anatomically correct? \ ---
**Author:** ![SanguineSpider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SanguineSpider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanguineSpider)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2004, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-v-s-moses-part-i/234593/4 "2004-03-16T05:54:11Z")
A religious RPG? W-H-O-A… ---
**Author:** ![SSgtBaloo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@SSgtBaloo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSgtBaloo)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2004, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-v-s-moses-part-i/234593/5 "2004-03-16T05:58:59Z")
> [@Johnny Bravo](#): > > Was it [this](http://www.trainupachild.com/cgi-bin/shopnow.cgi?ACTION=thispage&thispage=orig-figures.html&ORDER_ID=195438000) set? Yep! That’s them! I still chuckle to myself when I think about them. Biodome: Nope. At least I’m pretty sure an action figure set of characters from the Bible wouldn’t be any more anatomically correct than Ken or Barbie. Less, even, since their clothes are molded right onto 'em. –SSgtBaloo ---
**Author:** ![SanguineSpider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SanguineSpider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanguineSpider)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2004, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-v-s-moses-part-i/234593/6 "2004-03-16T06:11:09Z")
Jesus has 78 hit points and a +9 staff against evil. Tee hee, that’d be a riot! ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2004, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-v-s-moses-part-i/234593/7 "2004-03-16T06:11:27Z")
Is this the Jesus with Gliding Action? My co-worker has that one; she has him locked in eternal battle with that purple snake guy from G.I. Joe. Nancy’s kinda irreverant. ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2004, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-v-s-moses-part-i/234593/8 "2004-03-16T08:15:07Z")
I love the fig-leaf belly cover hiding Eve’s sinful naval. I notice Adam’s is hanging out for all the world to see. Of course, neither one of them should even _have_ navals. Don’t they come with accessories? The accessories are always the best part of an action figure. Eve should have an apple, Moses should have his tablets, Solomon should have two gory halves of a baby…\* \*Yes, I know the cutting the baby in half thing was allegory. It would still be a cool accessory. ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2004, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-v-s-moses-part-i/234593/9 "2004-03-16T15:48:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Yes, I know the cutting the baby in half thing was allegory. It would still be a cool accessory. You misspelled “all gory.” ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2004, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-v-s-moses-part-i/234593/10 "2004-03-16T15:50:32Z")
Jesus. If he’s prepared. ---
**Author:** ![green\_bladder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/73ab20/32.png) [@green\_bladder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/green_bladder)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2004, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-v-s-moses-part-i/234593/11 "2004-03-16T16:10:58Z")
Even if he’s prepared, if Moses brings his 1920s style death-ray it’s no contest. ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2004, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus-v-s-moses-part-i/234593/12 "2004-03-16T16:20:53Z")
I want a Jesus with a kung-fu grip.