# Jesus **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [January 7, 2000, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus/6340 "2000-01-07T16:26:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2000, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus/6340/1 "2000-01-07T16:26:00Z")
How did Jesus get his last name, Christ? Was Joseph’s last name Christ and was HE a carpenter? Also, how come you never hear anything about Christ’s childhood? Did he go to school? ---
**Author:** ![RobRoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7ba0ec/32.png) [@RobRoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobRoy)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2000, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus/6340/2 "2000-01-07T16:29:00Z")
“Christ” means “annointed”. His youth is scantily documented. There is some material in the gospels, and the apocryphal gospels as well. A controversial subject, some New Agers said (undocumented here) that he went to India to study Hinduism and Buddhism… Kelly Ann, this is a good subjet, but I bet it will explode on this string, good luck. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2000, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus/6340/3 "2000-01-07T16:39:00Z")
“Christ” wasn’t a last name in the modern sense and I doubt Jesus ever used it. Jesus was Jewish, so his name would have been something like “Jesus ben Joseph” (traditionally, Jewish names were the name of the son and the name of the father, linked with “ben,” which I assume means “son of”). I seem to recall that in some accounts, Jesus’s name was something else – “Joshua,” maybe. “Christ” derives from the Greek word for “king.” As in “King of Kings,” I assume. It was given to him long after his death. You don’t hear anything about Christ’s childhood because there are no accounts of it. His birth is talked about, though it is hard to determine how true the story is, since elements of earlier myths show up in it. It seems likely that the Christmas story was made up many years after the fact as a way to make the birth seem more miraculous. Then practically nothing until he began preaching in the 30s. (I think there was some incident between the two – maybe his baptism.) This, of course, makes a certain amount of sense. No one thought of Jesus as the Son 'O God until he got his desciples together and began preaching (and maybe not even then), so no one followed him around while he was growing up. By the time people were interested, any observers were long gone. One author speculated that Jesus probably married during this time (all Jewish men of that era were expected to marry). Perhaps he had kids and someone’s running around as a descendant. But there’s no evidence to support the speculation, just a big blank spot in his life. * * * “East is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.” – Marx Read “Sundials” in the new issue of Aboriginal Science Fiction. [www.sff.net/people/rothman](http://www.sff.net/people/rothman) ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2000, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus/6340/4 "2000-01-07T16:46:00Z")
So what was Mary’s last name? ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2000, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus/6340/5 "2000-01-08T06:15:00Z")
Adams 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Beruang](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/77aa72/32.png) [@Beruang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beruang)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2000, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus/6340/6 "2000-01-08T06:24:00Z")
Re: Jesus being married: [http://www.straightdope.com/columns/980918.html](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/980918.html) ---
**Author:** ![Beruang](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/77aa72/32.png) [@Beruang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beruang)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2000, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus/6340/7 "2000-01-08T06:26:00Z")
A little bit OT, but the first couple paragraphs are relevant: [http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2\_275.html](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2_275.html) ---
**Author:** ![Beruang](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/77aa72/32.png) [@Beruang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beruang)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2000, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus/6340/8 "2000-01-08T06:28:00Z")
As for stories of His childhood, check out: [http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a4\_141.html](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a4_141.html) Meanwhile, I _know_ Cecil addressed the question of what what Jesus’ last name, but I’ll be devilled if I can find it… ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2000, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus/6340/9 "2000-01-08T06:30:00Z")
Is there an article that details what the H stands for? as in “Jesus H. Christ”? I looked but couldn’t find that one ---
**Author:** ![Imthecowgodmoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Imthecowgodmoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Imthecowgodmoo)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2000, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus/6340/10 "2000-01-08T06:35:00Z")
better jump on it while I can H stands for Harold Our father you art in heaven Harold by thy name… * * * “People must think it must be fun to be a super genuis, But they don’t realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.” – Calvin and Hobbes (\_\_) _/_ ---
**Author:** ![Beruang](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/77aa72/32.png) [@Beruang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beruang)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2000, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus/6340/11 "2000-01-08T06:40:00Z")
More on His family (gosh, Cecil writes about this Jesus guy a lot): [http://www.straightdope.com/columns/990730.html](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/990730.html) ---
**Author:** ![Beruang](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/77aa72/32.png) [@Beruang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beruang)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2000, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus/6340/12 "2000-01-08T06:41:00Z")
YAY! I found it! [http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1\_035a.html](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_035a.html) OK, no more posts from me. Swear to God. ---
**Author:** ![pluto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f08c70/32.png) [@pluto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pluto)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2000, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus/6340/13 "2000-01-07T19:51:00Z")
## Cecil also speculated at one time that the H stood for “haploid”. _My Child Is An Honour Student At Hogwarts_ ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2000, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus/6340/14 "2000-01-07T21:12:00Z")
H stands for “Holy”, as in “Jesus Holy Christ!” Some use his first name, some his middle and last. Nowadays, his middle initial would be changed to F. I’ll let you fill in the blank. ---
**Author:** ![Lucky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Lucky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucky)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2000, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus/6340/15 "2000-01-07T21:21:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Then practically nothing until he began preaching in the 30s. Are you referring to his famous “Sermon on the New Deal”? * * * “I should not take bribes and Minister Bal Bahadur KC should not do so either. But if clerks take a bribe of Rs 50-60 after a hard day’s work, it is not an issue.” ----Krishna Prasad Bhattarai, Current Prime Minister of Nepal ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2000, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus/6340/16 "2000-01-08T01:28:00Z")
I have a question for RealityChuck…Why would Jesus have been batized? That is not a Jewish activity no matter how you dice it. Perhaps you meant bar mitzvah? ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2000, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus/6340/17 "2000-01-08T02:05:00Z")
No, Jesus was baptized. He want to John the Baptist for it. John (who knows Jesus is the Messiah) makes a bit of a fuss about this (“Why on earth do _you_ need to be baptized?”). He does it anyways, and then the voice of God announces that Jesus is His son. This is **THE** famous God’s-voice-coming-out-of-the-clouds incident. * * * –It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecccb3/32.png) [@Lord\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Jim)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2000, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus/6340/18 "2000-01-08T02:24:00Z")
**Diceman** , I’ve got a question. I know the story you mentioned of John the Baptist. What I don’t know is to what faith or belief or religion he was baptising people. Honestly, I’ve just never looked it up. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2000, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus/6340/19 "2000-01-08T02:48:00Z")
Jesus H. Christ was covered in Cecil’s first book, and here: [http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1\_033.html](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_033.html) ---
**Author:** ![Cardinal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardinal/32/4000_2.png) [@Cardinal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardinal)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2000, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus/6340/20 "2000-01-08T03:05:00Z")
JtB wasn’t inaugurating people into another religion, but into a repentance in the one they supposedly were already in - Judaism. This kind of goes along with the views of orthodox Christianity today, where baptism is a symbol of an attitude or decision, not a magical act that makes a person holy or saved or whatever else. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jesus/6340.md?page=2)