# Jewelry store lost my wife's ring. Advice needed. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 29, 2010, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jewelry-store-lost-my-wifes-ring-advice-needed/544906 "2010-06-29T06:30:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Zulema](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/db5fbb/32.png) [@Zulema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zulema)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2010, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jewelry-store-lost-my-wifes-ring-advice-needed/544906/61 "2010-06-30T03:22:43Z")
> [@Razrak](#): > > My wife is now thinking she wants a full refund and we go buy a different ring at a competiting store. The district manager is suppose to call my wife sometime today. That kind of throws out her whole argument that the original offer from the jeweler isn’t good enough because of sentimentality. The new ring will remind her of nothing but the loss of her original ring. ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2010, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jewelry-store-lost-my-wifes-ring-advice-needed/544906/62 "2010-06-30T12:22:19Z")
> [@Razrak](#): > > My wife is now thinking she wants a full refund and we go buy a different ring at a competiting store. > [@SP2263](#): > > That kind of throws out her whole argument that the original offer from the jeweler isn’t good enough because of sentimentality. The new ring will remind her of nothing but the loss of her original ring. I have to agree; this sounds like nothing more than a punitive move against the store. And then you’re faced with the time and effort of picking out a new ring, and _then_ when all is said and done, you still don’t have what you picked out in the first place. I predict this would just cause you to hold on to your bitterness over this incident even longer. Whereas, if you accept the replacement rings – unless you’re the types of people that _never_ let go of anything, _ever_ – this minor inconvenience early in your marriage will fade into memory, and in years to come it will be all but forgotten. That’s my experience, at least. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2010, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jewelry-store-lost-my-wifes-ring-advice-needed/544906/63 "2010-06-30T13:13:08Z")
It seems we have two undisputed facts here: 1. The original ring is gone forever. 2. The original had sentimental value. If that’s the case, wouldn’t you want the replacement to be EXACTLY like the original? Seems to me that getting a different replacement ring flies in the face of the idea that the original was something special. I suppose that doesn’t preclude trying to get the store to give you a gift certificate, a pair of earrings, etc. etc., along with the replacement ring. But still, it smacks of opportunism to me. In my life, some things (and people, and pets) that I had incredible sentimental attachment to have been lost - sometimes because life sucks and shit happens, and sometimes because someone made a mistake they shouldn’t have. It happens to us all, if we live long enough. Life goes on. I think the suggestions upthread to “christen” the new ring via a romantic dinner/second honeymoon or something like that are the best. If you’ve been married 10 months, your first anniversary isn’t far off. I’d treat this as an opportunity to renew your vows and create beautiful memories, not as a chance to get material worth out of a store that made an honest mistake. What if they are planning to take the cost of any extras they give you out of the paycheck of the person who made the mistake? Would you feel comfortable with that? ---
**Author:** ![valleyofthedolls](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a4c791/32.png) [@valleyofthedolls](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/valleyofthedolls)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2010, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jewelry-store-lost-my-wifes-ring-advice-needed/544906/64 "2010-06-30T16:01:04Z")
> [@Razrak](#): > > I married my wife last August. I bought the warranty plan on the wedding ring, where every six months you take the ring to the Jewelry store and they make sure no diamonds are loose. My wife took her ring to the jewelry store for her second semi-annual check up. One of the diamonds was loose so they had to send the ring in to get it repaired. It should take two weeks to get the ring fixed. Four weeks later they called and told my wife they lost the ring. They offered to order the same ring and give it to her at no cost. > > Tomorrow we are going to the store to talk to them about a resolution. I want to know what type of questions to ask, and how to use the leverage of the situation to our benefit. As a guy I thought getting a replicate of the ring would be reasonable. However, I now know that was a typical stupid guy response. :smack: The lost ring has sentimental value to my wife, and even if they replace it, it wouldn’t be the original. I think the obvious wish would be to get the same type of ring with a bigger diamond. Does that sound like a reasonable thing to ask for? > > I’d really like to know if this sort of thing has happened to anyone else, and what the resolution was. What would you do in this situation? Would you be happy with a replacement of the same ring? Thanks. What does the warranty say? I would think any terms for losing a ring would be written in there or the receipt your wife received when she dropped the ring off. That would be what you’re entitled to (most likely a replacement ring of equal value). To try and get something more out of the situation is just tacky. Edited to add: that I missed the part where you already talked about the warranty. Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![SkeptiJess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@SkeptiJess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkeptiJess)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2010, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jewelry-store-lost-my-wifes-ring-advice-needed/544906/65 "2010-06-30T22:04:26Z")
Personally, I’m not remotely sentimental about jewelry – them getting me an exact duplicate of the lost ring would be just fine for me _personally_. However, I’m also a student of etiquette & wedding traditions, so I know that the jewelry industry has been making bank for decades by using advertising to purposefully conflate sentiment and jewelry. They are trying to have it both both ways – when you were buying the ring in the first place, I’m sure they assured you that you were buying an heirloom; a physical symbol of your love that would endure for all the years of your marriage… Of course, now that it’s lost (through their fault, even though it was an honest mistake) and they need to replace it, all that sentimental jive goes out the door. I think, if they really wanted to reinforce the notion that every wedding ring is an instant heirloom, a little ‘extra’ value added to the replacement would have been a good customer service move. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2010, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jewelry-store-lost-my-wifes-ring-advice-needed/544906/66 "2010-06-30T23:12:28Z")
> [@SkeptiJess](#): > > They are trying to have it both both ways – when you were buying the ring in the first place, I’m sure they assured you that you were buying an heirloom; a physical symbol of your love that would endure for all the years of your marriage… Of course, now that it’s lost (through their fault, even though it was an honest mistake) and they need to replace it, all that sentimental jive goes out the door. > > I think, if they really wanted to reinforce the notion that every wedding ring is an instant heirloom, a little ‘extra’ value added to the replacement would have been a good customer service move. But isn’t putting in a little extra also negating the idea of sentiment? If it’s really about sentiment, isn’t it a little crass to say that you can make up for sentiment with a gift certificate? ---
**Author:** ![SkeptiJess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@SkeptiJess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkeptiJess)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2010, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jewelry-store-lost-my-wifes-ring-advice-needed/544906/67 "2010-07-01T15:40:40Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > But isn’t putting in a little extra also negating the idea of sentiment? If it’s really about sentiment, isn’t it a little crass to say that you can make up for sentiment with a gift certificate? They’d have to spin it a little, “We’re so very sorry that your special ring was lost through our fault, obviously there is no monetary way to repair this loss; please accept this [item or gift certificate] as a token of our sincere apology.” If they want to continue to profit by the illusion that wedding jewelry is a great big sentimental deal beyond its actual value as jewelry, then they need to stand by that illusion. If it were me, I’d be tempted to go in, pick up the check for the replacement value and tell them, “Hey, we believed you when you told us this was the most important piece of jewelry we’d ever buy. Now we discover that it really was just another ring after all… Thanks for cluing us in to the marketing hoax the jewelry industry has been running. We’re going to go to WalMart now to buy a plain gold wedding band, then spend the rest of this windfall on books [or computer equipment or motorcycle parts or whatever].” ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2010, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jewelry-store-lost-my-wifes-ring-advice-needed/544906/68 "2010-07-01T16:15:08Z")
> [@aruvqan](#): > > Greatgranny’s ring started out new sometime. I guess it would be OK to lose that one. > > Not everybody is sentimental I guess, must be great for moving time, just burn the old house, move into the new and replace everything. Nothing worth saving there… > Anything including great grannys ring is ultimately replaceable. What makes an heirloom but memories. Now they will never have their wedding ring ever again. A new lump of metal may look like it, but it is NOT it. Same principal as a pet, that new golden retriever may look just like Phluphi, but it is heartbreaking to many people when a beloved pet dies. Hell, greatgranny is ultimately replacable, just og to the nearest retirement home and ‘adopt’ a senior and start visiting them. You will soon have new memories.:rolleyes: Must everything but so black and white? I was referring to this case, of a ring with sentimental value, not a family heirloom, not an antique. It’s a ring. It’s not a life. Like I said, there’s no point in magnifying the loss. I am a very sentimental person. I still have my mother’s driver’s license and glasses. She died 15 years ago. I keep a swatch of my old dog’s hair despite him dying almost ten years ago. To me they have value that can’t be replaced at any cost. I could get an old DL, a used pair of glasses, and some hair off my new dog but that won’t be the same. Neither will a gift certificate for above the cost of a ring. Nothing the store can do will bring that sentimental worth back. My suggestion was simply to take the replacement ring and attach a new value to it. It can be the story they tell their grandkids. To show the true worth, if the couple breaks up see how fast she’ll pawn it or toss it in a drawer (or even a river!). Then the sentimental value will drop on it’s own, considerably. That’s because it’s not the ring, it’s the memory. She hasn’t lost that when she lost her ring. ---
**Author:** ![snowmaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e99b99/32.png) [@snowmaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowmaster)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2010, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jewelry-store-lost-my-wifes-ring-advice-needed/544906/69 "2010-07-01T16:29:09Z")
When you sent the ring out for repair, you probably signed a release limiting their liability to the value of the ring and thier replacing it. I think going in to shake them down for addtitional value is wrong, they don’t owe you anything. What I would do is thoroughly examine all the stones under a loupe, or scope if they have one and inspect carefully for inclusions. I would point out any characteristics of the stones you believe to be of a lesser quality than the originials and ask they be changed. If your ring is a stocked item, I’d ask to look at 2 or 3 and take the pick of the litter. If your ring was certified, make sure the new one is too. I’d compare each and very statistic on the certs and make sure you were gettign equal or better, especialliy in center stone color, clarity, carat weight, and the overall carat weight. What I WOULD ask for as a full and fair settlemt of the issue, considering their mistake: If your ring wasn’t certified, I’d ask them to get the new one certified at their expense so you can rest assued you’re getting a similar, known quality in the new ring. If the price on this was over $1500, I’d consider that a very reasonable request. If none of that applies, I’d ask for somehting that gives a mutual benefit. Maybe a promised substantial discont on a wrap or struds for a 1st anniversary present. They give discounts all time, and this shows them they can keep your business. I’d push for 40% off the stricker or sale price of any item in the store of your choosing, good for a year from today. If they’re not ameanable to any of the above, I’d demand a refund of the oreiginal purchase, enjoy the fun or ring shopping again, and be happy that you’ll have a new jeweler who’ll take better care of you in the future. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2010, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jewelry-store-lost-my-wifes-ring-advice-needed/544906/70 "2010-07-01T16:30:33Z")
I would take the identical rings(s) the jewelry store offers, and make a big deal about presenting it to your wife. Make a nice speech about how the ring is new, but your love for her hasn’t changed, and so forth and so on. Women like that kind of stuff. With any luck, you’ll get laid out of it. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![rogerbox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/76d3ee/32.png) [@rogerbox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rogerbox)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2010, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jewelry-store-lost-my-wifes-ring-advice-needed/544906/71 "2010-07-01T16:57:06Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Women like that kind of stuff. With any luck, you’ll get laid out of it. I’m engaged, not married, but it always make me sad, and more than a bit angry, of some married man HOPING to get sex with his wife, as a reward for “good behavior”… ---
**Author:** ![Velma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/85e7bf/32.png) [@Velma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velma)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2010, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jewelry-store-lost-my-wifes-ring-advice-needed/544906/72 "2010-07-01T18:32:12Z")
> [@Yarster](#): > > I’d take the replacement ring with the GIA cert showing a diamond of equal or greater value. I really don’t think the jeweler is going to screw you on that given that that they already have egg on their face to the point where you really need to have it appraised at a second independent jeweler. I suppose if you insist on that, you could ask them to pay for the second appraisal, but I think that’s the full extent of what you’re entitled to since it was an honest mistake. Alternatively, you could get the cash value of the ring as a refund, but if you are expecting anything more than that, I think you’re being unreasonable. > > My wife once took a random ring into a jewelry store in the mall that was offering a free cleaning while you wait in an effort to get people in to browse. They cleaned her ring and apologized that one of the stones had come loose and gave her back the ring with the stone offering to fix it for a small fee. She was super pissed off and was convinced they pried the stone out just so they could charge a fee to fix it. I told her she was over-reacting and that I was sure the stone really was loose and they did her a favor because it otherwise would have fallen out at a random time and would have been lost forever. Then again, who knows? She took it to a different store to be fixed and even asked if it looked like it had been pried out. They didn’t think so. I used to work for a jewelry store with the same warranty procedure as the OP describes, and we offered free cleaning like your wife had also. But we always performed an inspection of the jewelry first, before cleaning it, to prevent what happened to your wife. If there was a defect or loose stone we would just tell the person and give it back to them without cleaning it. So the store here was a little at fault, IMO. If the OP’s store is the same one I worked in, everyone who sent out jewelry with us to be repaired did sign a waiver that described what would happen in case of loss. These stores have all kinds of policies on how to handle these kinds of situations, replacing a piece with the exact same piece when possible is pretty standard. There is also probably a statement you got with your original receipt explaining how the warranty system works and how they value and replace stones and jewelry. If someone had a piece that was a one of a kind heirloom or needed custom work, I would suggest to them to search for a jewelry store that has an actual jeweler on site. Most mall / chain stores send their stuff out and it is possible things can get lost in transit. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2010, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jewelry-store-lost-my-wifes-ring-advice-needed/544906/73 "2010-07-01T20:02:48Z")
> [@julius blaze](#): > > I’m engaged, not married, but it always make me sad, and more than a bit angry, of some married man HOPING to get sex with his wife, as a reward for “good behavior”… I was posting mildly tongue-in-cheek, but FWIW “hoping” works at least as well as “expecting” or “insisting” or a number of other approaches. And I think you go wrong if you think of it as a reward for good behavior. More like a response to “aren’t you sweet?” This is part of what they mean when they say “marriage takes work”. You do stuff the other person likes, because you know they like it. For instance, a week ago Friday I surprised my wife with a weekend in Vegas. Did I do that 'hoping" to get laid? Well, sort of - it has been my experience that women’s sexual desires are triggered by romantic gestures. That’s not to say that if I didn’t take her to Vegas, I’d never get any. It’s just that the relationship is based on the mutual understanding that both of us make an effort to keep the other person interested. You find out what the other person’s hot buttons are, and make an effort to hit them on a regular basis - in a good way. Did the weekend in Vegas “work”? Heavens, yes - she was glowing all weekend, because I thought it all up by myself and made an effort to pamper her. Did I get laid? A whole weekend in a strange city, with no kids, the opportunity to sleep as late as we want, and the bathroom to ourselves - what do you think? It’s a relationship, not a series of _quid pro quo_s, but it is never a good idea to take anything for granted for too long. But what the hell do I know - I have only been married for twenty-eight years. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![dmatsch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3be4f8/32.png) [@dmatsch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dmatsch)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2010, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jewelry-store-lost-my-wifes-ring-advice-needed/544906/74 "2010-07-02T17:25:20Z")
**Bolding mine** > [@aruvqan](#): > > …does not diminish the \*\*heirloomness \*\*of the object… David adds new word to his dictionary… ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2010, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jewelry-store-lost-my-wifes-ring-advice-needed/544906/75 "2010-07-02T17:35:03Z")
You’re entitled to an equal replacement, nothing more. If they offer you something additional, say thank you and count your blessings. If I were the jeweler and you got all red-assed about sentimental value, I’d create or acquire a duplicate and say ‘hey, good news, we found it’. It’s not like you or wifey would ever know the diff. Which should, in itself, tell you something right there. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2010, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jewelry-store-lost-my-wifes-ring-advice-needed/544906/76 "2010-07-02T18:00:28Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > \ you got all red-assed \ Cat Whisperer learns new phrase… The fact that she is thinking about changing the rings now makes me wonder if she was presented an engagement ring rather than picking her own. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2010, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jewelry-store-lost-my-wifes-ring-advice-needed/544906/77 "2010-07-02T18:06:31Z")
If I had my ring lost, and I was given the option to get a new design, I probably would, because looking at the replacement would probably get me all pissed off at the store for losing it. However, I am very sentimental about objects. ---
**Author:** ![legalsnugs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@legalsnugs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/legalsnugs)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2010, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jewelry-store-lost-my-wifes-ring-advice-needed/544906/78 "2010-07-02T18:10:39Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > …If I were the jeweler and you got all red-assed about sentimental value, I’d create or acquire a duplicate and say ‘hey, good news, we found it’. > > It’s not like you or wifey would ever know the diff. > > Which should, in itself, tell you something right there. > > mmm LOL! That’s the first thing I thought of, but it would depend on whether it had been engraved. I also thought that since the store could have done that, the fact that they didn’t showed they were acting in good faith (or it had been engraved). Then I thought, if I was this jewelry store, I’d really want to make sure these customers were happy now. Even if they got an exact duplicate, they will not be happy with the store and would probably tell all their friends and neighbors about the store that lost their ring, which would not be a good thing for the store. So I’d certainly offer something to make them NOT want to go around telling others what a crap store it is. Just my 2 cents. Whatever. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2010, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jewelry-store-lost-my-wifes-ring-advice-needed/544906/79 "2010-07-02T18:45:56Z")
> [@aruvqan](#): > > … that new golden retriever may look just like Phluphi, I am so naming my next dog “Phluphi”! ---
**Author:** ![bucketybuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2010, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jewelry-store-lost-my-wifes-ring-advice-needed/544906/80 "2010-07-02T19:07:12Z")
I bet the store finds the original ring over the weekend. And I bet you don’t believe them when they ring to tell you they actually DO have the original ring, no need for any recompense…😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jewelry-store-lost-my-wifes-ring-advice-needed/544906.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jewelry-store-lost-my-wifes-ring-advice-needed/544906.md?page=5)