But then as I went searching, I saw this fedora. I know I haven’t seen one in person before, but at least now I’ve seen a hasidic fedora.
[sub]I loooooooooove the area that’s super heavy Orthodox and Hasidic. I can get really really good food (mmm, proper knishes!) and learn a bit by observing. Plus, I know of a 7-11 that sells only certified Kosher slurpees around there. I hope to be helpful to someone who’s in the area, keeps kosher and is jonesing for a slurpee. :)[/sub]
Darn edit window. I was including Hasidism though, since I had those black hats on the mind. You had only mentioned Orthodox, so perhaps I erred in including Hasidism in it as well. Sorry.
Well, the ‘black hat’ is what people mentioned above, and to me, a black hat is not something worn by Hasidim (other than the Lubavich, who also wear fedoras, although they wear the brim slightly differently.) It has a specific social meaning that doesn’t include the headgear of Hasidim, although most of those are, in fact, black. Hasidim have their own garb, with different types of headgear for each sect, and I am not familiar enough with the differences in shtreimels vs. spodeks to discuss when, where, and by whom each are worn. (If you’re interested, here’s an illustrated guide to the subject of Hasidic hats. ) Nobody of my social circles would refer to the black hat in the picture zweisamkeit links to as a black hat, so it’s my own myopia that I excluded them - sorry!
Interesting link. I haven’t read the text of #3, but most of the hats in the link look very similar. Too close for me, as a casual observer to differentiate many of them.
Just to add onto what’s already been said, this is a hard question to answer because it’s sort of the equivalent of “how do I act around Christians?” Jews are as extremely varied in their customs in this country. (And presumably everywhere, including Israel.)
There are four major divisions, reform, conservative, orthodox, and hasidic (sometimes called ultra-orthodox). Even within a division, their beliefs and practices vary greatly given a time and place, and age group, and region of the country, and class, and all the other ways groups vary. Customs have also varied with time in almost every part of the country.
I don’t think I’ve ever been to a public place in which covering the head was expected - a synagogue or funeral home, say - and not seen a supply of yarmulkes for short-term use for those who didn’t bring one, Jew or non-Jew. I’ve also found it rare to non-existent to ever be in a situation in which non-Jews were made to feel uncomfortable for not wearing a head covering. (I admit I’ve never been in a formal hasidic gathering, though.)
If you are going to be in a particular situation, just ask and everybody will be happy to explain. If you’re asking in general, then there is no answer at all. It’s that individual.
I think most of the hats in the link are very similar, and only break down into a few broad categories. The text links to a few of the pictures as illustrations of certain principles - smooth vs. furry, high vs. flat, etc. It’s not an exhaustive discussion, but covers more than I could.
‘Black hat’ and Lubavich men start wearing hats at their bar mitzvas, when they suddenly gain about five inches in height. I know that shtreimels (worn on the Sabbath and holidays) are worn only by Hasidic men after they’ve gotten married, but I’m not sure when they start wearing other sorts of hats. I think that both cmkeller and zev both live in Brooklyn, Land of the American Hasid, and they might be able to shed more light on the issue.
Most yarmulke styles, like crocheted or suede, are held on with bobby pins. The velvet ones stay on by themselves.
Ultra-Orthodox is a larger group than just Hasidim; it also includes many of the ‘black hat’ group I’ve mentioned, who are somewhat more formally labelled ‘yeshivish’. There isn’t a formal division between ultra-Orthodox and more modern Orthodox, either, unlike the division between Orthodox and Conservative; it’s a spectrum, with no two people falling in exactly the same place. Best of luck figuring us out
And the bald men I’ve known hold them on through sheer personal magnetism.
Certainly, one can speak broadly of two groups, the ultra-Orthodox and the modern Orthodox. But I’ve known enough people from across the spectrum there to know that it’s not a sharp division, like the other sectarian divisions you mention. Where do you classify my black hat-wearing, learning for several years in yeshiva full time post high school, then part-time all the way through college, separate-seated weddings, television-watching, secular music-listening, dating for more than a few weeks before getting engaged, basketball-playing cousins? My Beis Yaakov educated (the yeshivish girl’s school network - she went for elementary, HS, and the best Beis Yaakov seminary in Israel) former roommate now married to a guy who will probably learn in kollel (full-time yeshiva for married guys) forever, who will cover her hair in front of her kids, loves movies and gushy pop music, and is about to start a fellowship in hematology/oncology? They don’t fit neatly into any category. Of course I’ve known many people who could more easily be placed on either side of the divide, but even within the two larger groups, there’s a spectrum. For example, I’m certainly not ultra-Orthodox, but I’m to the right religiously of many in the modern camp (rightmost = the most ultra of ultra-Orthodox, leftmost = the most modern of modern.)
Orthodox online dating websites have a hell of a time giving people enough options in their drop down boxes for people to accurately classify themselves religiously.
My friend has a Jean-Luc Picard style bald head - the male pattern baldness hair fell out so he shaved off the rest. He has enough stubble that the yarmulke (his is a little larger than obligatory) sticks onto it like velcro! He said it’s way easier than when he had hair and had to deal with bobby pins because the thing slid around all the time!
I’m not sure how a Mr. Clean bald head, or one with hair loss due to alopecia or other to-the-skin hair loss, would do it short of spirit gum. But then again, there’s no reason one *couldn’t *use a little dab of spirit gum each morning, I just don’t know if that’s the answer.
GilaB, I’ve met Jews who went to orthodox synagogues and considered themselves orthodox who would be considered practically reformed by the orthodox in other communities. (Or to quote a Woody Allen joke: “I have a reformed rabbi. Very reformed. A Nazi.”) Of course individuals vary in their practices; I said that earlier. For practical purposes, however, there are four divisions of Judaism, even if the borders aren’t completely firm and clearcut. That’s the way the world always works. Borders are always fuzzy.
It’s tradition. It is not specifically mentioned or commanded in any holy text.
RE When
When ever there isn’t a logical reason not to wear one. When sleeping, bathing, swimming, or getting a haircut you remove the yarmulke. When I first started wearing one I often forgot to remove it before getting in the shower.
I am often asked if a yarmulke is worn during sex. My answer is that if you’re undressing for a long bout of lovemaking then the yarmulke comes off too. If you’re unzipping for a quicky, then it stays on.
RE What is acceptable
Any hat will do. According to Sol The Answer Man (author of Do They Keep Kosher On Mars?), a toupee is acceptable. However, it is often said you can tell how traditional a Jew is by how big the hat he wears over his yarmulke is.
With regard to kofis, Sephardic Jews (those of a Spanish or Middle Eastern background) often wear a kind of pillbox hat. The
exact same style hat is often worn by Muslims as a kofi.
ETA
I hold my yarmulke on with bobby pins or a style of decorative barrette. There is a velcro product made especially for kipot (as the yarmulke is alternately known). It is called, honest to G-d, Kipon.
I am not currently wearing a yarmulke. This is because it is almost 1:30 am and I have changed into my pyjamas.
I know a little about this topic. My paternal family wears black hats. Kipahas aren’t uncomfortable. You barely notice them. Bobby pins are optional. I only use them for the small suede ones. The black hat’s can be very expensive; into the thousands of dollars and are cherished personal effects, and it’s a big deal when a young man gets his first one. There are summer weight black hats made from mesh, but not everyone can afford two hats. Hasidim and some modern orthodox women do wear wigs as head coverings. Which I’ve always found rather odd as the purpose of a Jewish woman covering her hair is partly about modesty, but most of the wigs are luxurious, and possibly nicer than the woman’s natural hair.
BTW, did anyone see George Carlin’s new stand up on HBO? He did a great bit about religious headgear rules.
Just as an aside, for Conservative Jews, there’s a wide range of practice. Many Conservative rabbis follow Orthodox traditions on when to cover their heads. For the rest of us, we cover our heads only when engaged in prayer or (religious) study, or when in a synagogue.
Of course. If it’s not provided for in any one of the innumerable texts, it’s “tradition.” Even if it is provided for in any one of the innumerable texts, it’s so subject to interpretation and argument that you can still pretty much do what you want, including giving up pork for Lent. I kid, but not by much.
My friend has a Jean-Luc Picard style bald head - the male pattern baldness hair fell out so he shaved off the rest. He has enough stubble that the yarmulke (his is a little larger than obligatory) sticks onto it like velcro! He said it’s way easier than when he had hair and had to deal with bobby pins because the thing slid around all the time!
