# JFK shot himself **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 3, 2001, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-shot-himself/67384 "2001-06-03T02:24:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![clayton\_e](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c57346/32.png) [@clayton\_e](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clayton_e)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2001, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-shot-himself/67384/1 "2001-06-03T02:24:29Z")
Yes, this is my theory. This is not any worse than the UFO connection theory or the “He was already dead” theory. ---
**Author:** ![Ringo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Ringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ringo)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2001, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-shot-himself/67384/2 "2001-06-03T04:09:23Z")
You’ll probably need to flesh out the theory a bit to draw a response from all of us Warren Commission types. ---
**Author:** ![KarlGauss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karlgauss/32/3713_2.png) [@KarlGauss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGauss)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2001, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-shot-himself/67384/3 "2001-06-03T04:13:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by clayton\_e \* > \*\*Yes, this is my theory. This is not any worse than the UFO connection theory or the “He was already dead” theory. \*\* Well, you’re a fool if you believe that. Everyone knows Jackie was the shooter! ---
**Author:** ![Wastrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f17d59/32.png) [@Wastrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wastrel)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2001, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-shot-himself/67384/4 "2001-06-03T04:24:20Z")
Just a tad bit more info on your theory would be great. I take it you haven’t seen the Zapruder (sp?) film? ---
**Author:** ![clayton\_e](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c57346/32.png) [@clayton\_e](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clayton_e)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2001, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-shot-himself/67384/5 "2001-06-03T04:48:30Z")
It doesn’t need any of those fancy “facts”. It’s so basic that you know it’s true. ---
**Author:** ![Wastrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f17d59/32.png) [@Wastrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wastrel)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2001, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-shot-himself/67384/6 "2001-06-03T04:51:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by clayton\_e \* > \*\*It doesn’t need any of those fancy “facts”. It’s so basic that you know it’s true. \*\* If that’s not Communist propaganda, I don’t know what is. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_Rhosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@Sir\_Rhosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_Rhosis)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2001, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-shot-himself/67384/7 "2001-06-03T05:17:30Z")
Actually, there really is a close theory to this. One blrry frame of the Zapruder film showing the limo driver turning to look toward the back seat has a “bright” spot so that if you really really wanna see it, it looks sorta like he is holding a pistol aimed at JFK. I don’t think JFK did it because the Van Allen Radiation belt would have burned through the skin of the Lincoln he was riding in killing all aboard, plus the footprint he left when he took that “one small stp” off the running board would have been dissipated by the revving of the car’s engine, and plus they just didn’t have the technology back in those days to blow people’s brains out. I mean, come on folks, this was before Video games even!!! Conspiratorially yours, Sir Rhosis ---
**Author:** ![rjk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@rjk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjk)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2001, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-shot-himself/67384/8 "2001-06-03T05:18:12Z")
Of course he shot himself! It was explained in an episode of that great British documentary series, **Red Dwarf**. [http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Cavern/5986/series7.html](http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Cavern/5986/series7.html) has a script and sound clips, but is slow to load. ---
**Author:** ![clayton\_e](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c57346/32.png) [@clayton\_e](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clayton_e)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2001, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-shot-himself/67384/9 "2001-06-03T05:19:11Z")
That’s sad… ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2001, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-shot-himself/67384/10 "2001-06-03T05:24:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wastrel \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by clayton\_e \* > > \*\*It doesn’t need any of those fancy “facts”. It’s so basic that you know it’s true. \*\* > > If that’s not Communist propaganda, I don’t know what is. > > 😃 \*\* **Communists!!** :eek: Everyone, hurry up! Pinko Commie bastards are on the prowl!! Tripler Grab a rifle! They’re everywhere!! ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2001, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-shot-himself/67384/11 "2001-06-03T16:16:50Z")
Well, he didn’t actually shoot _himself_. JFK actually faked his own death. He was not in the car, that was just a wax dummy of himself in the car. JFK was on the grassy knoll. ---
**Author:** ![ThisYearsGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@ThisYearsGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisYearsGirl)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2001, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-shot-himself/67384/12 "2001-06-03T16:31:10Z")
Actually, there is a theory that JFK was dying, and rather than live out a slow and painful death, he got the CIA (and possibly Oswald) to kill him in an “assassination” so he could become a martyr. Lemme try to find something online about it. . . . ---
**Author:** ![ThisYearsGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@ThisYearsGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisYearsGirl)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2001, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-shot-himself/67384/13 "2001-06-03T16:35:08Z")
here it is– [http://people.fix.no/pudding/burton/kennedy/himself.html](http://people.fix.no/pudding/burton/kennedy/himself.html) ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2001, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-shot-himself/67384/14 "2001-06-03T17:42:11Z")
> [@](#): > > _ **Wastrel** said:_ > > > [@](#): > > > > Originally posted by clayton\_e > > It doesn’t need any of those fancy “facts”. It’s so basic that you know it’s true. > > If that’s not Communist propaganda, I don’t know what is. Actually, that fits _any_ kind of propaganda-- communist, capitalist, corporate, anarchist, whatever–anything that speaks to the emotions while cloaking itself in a false guise of rationalism… ---
**Author:** ![clayton\_e](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c57346/32.png) [@clayton\_e](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clayton_e)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2001, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-shot-himself/67384/15 "2001-08-23T20:14:19Z")
Found this thread while looking for some old posts, I wanted to see some more strange responses. (Scary music as I revive this thread from the dead, Bwahahaha! It’s alive! That man at radio shack said I was mad, I showed him!!!) p.s., that’s C.M. Burns. ---
**Author:** ![Jenny\_Taylor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/90db22/32.png) [@Jenny\_Taylor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenny_Taylor)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2001, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-shot-himself/67384/16 "2001-08-23T20:32:14Z")
I thought John Lennon shot JFK ---
**Author:** ![mrblue92](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@mrblue92](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrblue92)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2001, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-shot-himself/67384/17 "2001-08-23T20:37:23Z")
No, JFK didn’t shoot himself. It wasn’t JFK at all, but actually Oswald in the car. Ruby shot Oswald from the book depository, except he didn’t because he was just the patsy. Garrison shot Oswald from the sewer underneath the grassy knoll, and then prosecuted Clay (who impersonated Ruby) who shot Ruby (who impersonated Oswald). Except Clay went to jail because everyone thought he was Ruby and Joe Pesci went to jail because he was mistaken for Tommy Lee Jones, who was really the Clay that Garrison was prosecuting. Makes perfect sense, doesn’t it? Isn’t it all so clear to you now? Effectively, JFK (who was buried as Oswald) and Marilyn Monroe (who was Khrushchev) both faked their own deaths and are now living happily in Montana with Lyndon Johnson (who was really Nixon’s dog Checkers) and RFK (who was Castro’s mistress). ---
**Author:** ![Jenny\_Taylor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/90db22/32.png) [@Jenny\_Taylor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenny_Taylor)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2001, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-shot-himself/67384/18 "2001-08-23T20:53:05Z")
Sorry but who is Patsy??? ---
**Author:** ![mrblue92](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@mrblue92](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrblue92)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2001, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-shot-himself/67384/19 "2001-08-23T21:02:14Z")
Patsy Cline, of course, legendary singer. Although not legendary in the sense that she didn’t exist, but legendary in the sense that she sprang from the forehead of Zeus with her trusty guitar in one hand and Manlicher-Carcano in the other… ---
**Author:** ![Some\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Some\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Some_Guy)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-shot-himself/67384/20 "2001-08-24T00:08:45Z")
[Rev. Wayne Bedford] Elvis shot JFK! [/Rev. Wayne Bedford] [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-shot-himself/67384.md?page=2)