# JFK was shot from the sewer **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 20, 2010, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-was-shot-from-the-sewer/561314 "2010-11-20T06:56:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![XT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xt/32/456_2.png) [@XT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XT)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2010, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-was-shot-from-the-sewer/561314/21 "2010-11-20T17:22:42Z")
You guys. Sheesh. The REAL conspiracy is that Kennedy wasn’t shot at all! It was all a fake. Kennedy is still alive and helping to control the world government with Elvis and Amelia Earhart down in a secret volcanic bunker in Bolivia (yeah, I know). It was quite a struggle between Kennedy and the Nazi forces lead by Hitler, but in the end good old American know-how showed those Nazi bastards what was what. Hitler is now a cabana boy for a large notorious biker group in the mid-west… Admittedly, there is some truth to the guy in the sewer…that was the guy with the cloaking technology that allowed Kennedy to escape (that’s right…via the sewer) into the fixed up alien space ship (fixed up at Area 51…the one that originally crashed at Roswell) and them to substitute the cloned replacement for Kennedy, the one with the squib surgically planted to simulate the effects of gun shots, and designed to be obvious but to still provide the CT nutters with endless hours of fun and amusement. -XT ---
**Author:** ![rayman5321](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@rayman5321](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayman5321)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2010, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-was-shot-from-the-sewer/561314/22 "2010-11-20T17:49:19Z")
How many times have we seen this on “The Hitler Channel”? ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2010, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-was-shot-from-the-sewer/561314/23 "2010-11-20T17:57:13Z")
Waitwaitwait: The forensic report of the 9/11 disaster showed that not only did a missle hit the Pentagon, but that there was unexplained sewage residue. Could it be. . .? ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2010, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-was-shot-from-the-sewer/561314/24 "2010-11-20T18:29:49Z")
> [@Phatlewt](#): > > I’m fairly certain that it’s been proven that Kennedy was shot by Barack Obama. The toys they buy for 3 month olds anymore. \ > [@xtisme](#): > > You guys. Sheesh. The REAL conspiracy is that Kennedy wasn’t shot at all! It was all a fake. Kennedy is still alive and helping to control the world government with Elvis and Amelia Earhart down in a secret volcanic bunker in Bolivia (yeah, I know). What’s really shocking is that he’d be 93 this year. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2010, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-was-shot-from-the-sewer/561314/25 "2010-11-20T18:29:53Z")
So why haven’t they found this alleged sewer drain gunman? Oh that’s right, he went underground. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2010, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-was-shot-from-the-sewer/561314/26 "2010-11-20T18:49:21Z")
I knew a guy who was shot from a cannon, is this similar? ---
**Author:** ![bdgr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a87d85/32.png) [@bdgr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bdgr)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2010, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-was-shot-from-the-sewer/561314/27 "2010-11-20T19:27:33Z")
> [@John\_DiFool](#): > > The toys they buy for 3 month olds anymore. \ They don’t have the child safety laws in Kenya we do here. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2010, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-was-shot-from-the-sewer/561314/28 "2010-11-20T19:40:13Z")
It couldn’t have been a beaver. I spotted a beaver in a bush once and it didn’t have a gun. ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2010, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-was-shot-from-the-sewer/561314/29 "2010-11-20T20:04:17Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > It couldn’t have been a beaver. I spotted a beaver in a bush once and it didn’t have a gun. What, you didn’t give it a gun? Wanker! ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2010, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-was-shot-from-the-sewer/561314/30 "2010-11-20T20:10:24Z")
No CHUDS, no Mole People. It was the Subterrainean Lizard Men of LA what dood it. I have charts that prove it. ---
**Author:** ![Cumberdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@Cumberdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cumberdale)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2010, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-was-shot-from-the-sewer/561314/31 "2010-11-20T20:47:59Z")
You can be darn sure no one was caught in 1928 giving the order to proceed on a cell phone in California. ---
**Author:** ![Swords\_to\_Plowshares](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Swords\_to\_Plowshares](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swords_to_Plowshares)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2010, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-was-shot-from-the-sewer/561314/32 "2010-11-20T21:01:57Z")
It’s not every day that we get random-ass troll OPs from people with seven year old accounts. Well done. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2010, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-was-shot-from-the-sewer/561314/33 "2010-11-20T21:06:42Z")
> [@Swords\_to\_Plowshares](#): > > It’s not every day that we get random-ass troll OPs from people with seven year old accounts. Well done. Oh, I don’t think it can be called random. This particular missive from JFK fantasy-land isn’t dnooman’s first, nor I suspect his last. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2010, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-was-shot-from-the-sewer/561314/34 "2010-11-20T21:06:51Z")
‘Be it resolved that JFK was done in by the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?’ I think this belongs in MPSIMS, not Great Debates. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2010, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-was-shot-from-the-sewer/561314/35 "2010-11-20T21:07:11Z")
> [@xtisme](#): > > YKennedy is still alive and helping to control the world government with Elvis and Amelia Earhart down in a secret volcanic bunker in Bolivia (yeah, I know). You forgot Judge Crater and Jimmy Hoffa. ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2010, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-was-shot-from-the-sewer/561314/36 "2010-11-20T21:29:17Z")
> [@rayman5321](#): > > How many times have we seen this on “The Hitler Channel”? Is that Fox? ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2010, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-was-shot-from-the-sewer/561314/37 "2010-11-20T21:45:21Z")
> [@xtisme](#): > > Admittedly, there is some truth to the guy in the sewer…that was the guy with the cloaking technology Wouldn’t that be _cloaca_ technology? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2010, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-was-shot-from-the-sewer/561314/38 "2010-11-20T21:48:11Z")
> [@xtisme](#): > > Admittedly, there is some truth to the guy in the sewer…that was the guy with the cloaking technology > [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](#): > > Wouldn’t that be _cloaca_ technology? Somewhere in here there should be a “rectum? It killed 'im!” joke. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2010, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-was-shot-from-the-sewer/561314/39 "2010-11-20T22:33:45Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > Well, let’s go about this the other way. > > We know it wasn’t Lorena Bobbitt, she uses knives. Can we eliminate any one else? Although I was in Dallas at the time, I was buying a coke in a 7-11 in the Garland suburb. I didn’t keep the receipt, though. I wonder if it would have any collector’s value now? ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2010, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-was-shot-from-the-sewer/561314/40 "2010-11-20T23:26:47Z")
Roger McDowell is the one that fired the [magic loogie](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEzBeP6pRoY). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-was-shot-from-the-sewer/561314.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-was-shot-from-the-sewer/561314.md?page=3)