# JFK was shot from the sewer **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 20, 2010, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-was-shot-from-the-sewer/561314 "2010-11-20T06:56:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-was-shot-from-the-sewer/561314/41 "2010-11-21T00:32:43Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > Can we eliminate any one else? I was only two years old. I wasn’t allowed to go outside without supervision. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-was-shot-from-the-sewer/561314/42 "2010-11-21T00:35:06Z")
> [@xtisme](#): > > that was the guy with the cloaking technology that allowed Kennedy to escape So you’re saying the Romulans were in on it. I never trusted them bastards. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-was-shot-from-the-sewer/561314/43 "2010-11-21T01:26:05Z")
This was settled years ago. [Here’s the true story](http://www.sff.net/people/rothman/jfk.htp) ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-was-shot-from-the-sewer/561314/44 "2010-11-21T01:28:55Z")
Every time I see this thread title I have an image of a Looney Tunes JFK atop a column of water shooting up out of a manhole. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-was-shot-from-the-sewer/561314/45 "2010-11-21T06:09:09Z")
> [@xtisme](#): > > You guys. Sheesh. The REAL conspiracy is that Kennedy wasn’t shot at all! It was all a fake. Kennedy is still alive and helping to control the world government with Elvis and Amelia Earhart down in a secret volcanic bunker in Bolivia (yeah, I know). I think you may be on to something. Consider the bizarre “coincidences” between JFK and Elvis’s death. For example, Elvis died on a toilet. Kennedy died in Dallas. CONNECT THE DOTS, PEOPLE! ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-was-shot-from-the-sewer/561314/46 "2010-11-21T06:18:34Z")
But what about this quatrain from Nostradamus? the leader with the bad back, will be laid low, from below and by that hot blond babe ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-was-shot-from-the-sewer/561314/47 "2010-11-21T08:04:15Z")
[A tiger got him.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXRslcMsGlQ) Tell me if you recognize anyone in that video. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 9:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-was-shot-from-the-sewer/561314/48 "2010-11-21T09:37:22Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > I think you may be on to something. Consider the bizarre “coincidences” between JFK and Elvis’s death. For example, Elvis died on a toilet. Kennedy died in Dallas. > > CONNECT THE DOTS, PEOPLE! Kennedy’s first name was John and Elvis died on the john. Kennedy died in Dallas and Elvis rhymes with Dallas. Sort of. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-was-shot-from-the-sewer/561314/49 "2010-11-21T10:50:26Z")
> [@Dissonance](#): > > I have it on good authority that he was in fact shot by John Wilkes Booth using a time machine. A time machine that he stole from H. G. Wells. That’s it! That explains everything! ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-was-shot-from-the-sewer/561314/50 "2010-11-21T11:43:13Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > It couldn’t have been a beaver. I spotted a beaver in a bush once and it didn’t have a gun. He was a decoy; his purpose was to lead you further from the trail and into the wilderness where you would have found yourself surrounded by other beavers, all of whom were armed to the teeth. ---
**Author:** ![AnalogSignal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/analogsignal/32/1085_2.png) [@AnalogSignal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnalogSignal)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-was-shot-from-the-sewer/561314/51 "2010-11-21T13:01:08Z")
The truth can now be told. JFK was killed by Colonel Mustard in the Library with a lead pipe. The Zapruder film was a fraud staged by the CIA to cover it up. The same division of the CIA later created the moon landing footage that fooled so many gullible people. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-was-shot-from-the-sewer/561314/52 "2010-11-21T15:59:59Z")
Kennedy was _not_ shot from the sewer; he was gnawed by a giant sewer alligator. It’s in the missing frame from the Zapruder film. ---
**Author:** ![cerberus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@cerberus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cerberus)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-was-shot-from-the-sewer/561314/53 "2010-11-21T16:27:57Z")
First, the CHUD thing is offensive - not all Under Dwelling Humanoid Americans are cannabalistic. Second, the shot was via wormholes. The wormholes were arranged to produce the miraculously odd ballistics. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-was-shot-from-the-sewer/561314/54 "2010-11-21T16:53:17Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > [A tiger got him.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXRslcMsGlQ) > > Tell me if you recognize anyone in that video. /me waves! That show started Bill Nye’s career. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-was-shot-from-the-sewer/561314/55 "2010-11-21T17:00:21Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > [A tiger got him.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXRslcMsGlQ) > > Tell me if you recognize anyone in that video. > [@Mr.Miskatonic](#): > > /me waves! > > That show started Bill Nye’s career. That was a great show! ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-was-shot-from-the-sewer/561314/56 "2010-11-21T17:13:17Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > That was a great show! Maybe it was Billy from ‘Be Like Bill’. Kennedy was just too rude! ---
**Author:** ![wheresmymind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/91b2a8/32.png) [@wheresmymind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wheresmymind)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-was-shot-from-the-sewer/561314/57 "2010-11-21T17:14:54Z")
It’s pretty well established that that’s exactly where Cigarette Smoking Man was perched when he fired the shot. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-was-shot-from-the-sewer/561314/58 "2010-11-21T17:26:16Z")
> [@Mr.Miskatonic](#): > > /me waves! > > That show started Bill Nye’s career. Correct, of course. I’ve always liked to cite that sketch whenever there’s a new Kennedy Conspiracy thread, but this is the first time I’ve found the video online. ---
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2010, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-was-shot-from-the-sewer/561314/59 "2010-11-22T00:48:29Z")
Splinter taught [them](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teenage_Mutant_Ninja_Turtles_(film)) well. ---
**Author:** ![Mk\_VII](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Mk\_VII](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mk_VII)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2010, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-was-shot-from-the-sewer/561314/60 "2010-11-22T18:28:38Z")
Wasn’t it the Cigarette-Smoking Man? I saw that show! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-was-shot-from-the-sewer/561314.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jfk-was-shot-from-the-sewer/561314.md?page=4)