# Jingle Bells, Batman smells **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 8, 1999, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/11999 "1999-12-08T19:01:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 1999, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/11999/21 "1999-12-09T03:47:00Z")
I heard it just like in the OP, growing up in Tucson AZ. And it’s Great Green Globs of greasy grimy gopher guts Mutilated monkey meat bloody little birdy feet All just sitting in the middle of the street and me without my spoon (but I’ve got a straw!) * * * – Teeming Millions: [http://fathom.org/teemingmillions](http://fathom.org/teemingmillions) “Meat flaps, yellow!” - DrainBead, naked co-ed Twister chat O p a l C a t [www.opalcat.com](http://www.opalcat.com) ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 1999, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/11999/22 "1999-12-09T05:00:00Z")
I remember singing the Batman carol in California, and it was the Penguin that got away. Learned later in NY: Great green gobs of Greasy grimy gopher guts Chopped up birdie’s feet Mutilated monkey meat French-fried eyeballs Swimming in a pool of blood I fergot my straw! How sweet it iiissssss… And this is a new one, sung sweetly by a friend’s angelic looking children at a Christmas party: Joy to the world! The teacher’s dead We barbequed her head! What happened to her boooodddyyyy? We flushed it down the pooootttttyyy… And watched it go round & round And watched it go round & round And watched it go rooouuunnndd And round and round! They learned it in school. Yikes! ---
**Author:** ![Spud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spud/32/347_2.png) [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 1999, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/11999/23 "1999-12-09T05:08:00Z")
You guys are all so close, but it is: Great big gobs of Greasy grimy gopher guts Little birdie’s dirty feet Mutilated monkey meat Two big eyeballs Floating in a glass of milk Get it at your neighborhood store Without a strawwwww! Everyone knows that. ---
**Author:** ![bunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3d9bf3/32.png) [@bunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bunny)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 1999, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/11999/24 "1999-12-09T05:17:00Z")
I am from Canada and we sang it when I grew up. They are the songs that are past on to annoy all adults. As a teacher I can say they still sing them and it does annoy you after awhile. * * * All we really needed to know we learned in Kindergarden ---
**Author:** ![Sylence](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b19c9b/32.png) [@Sylence](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylence)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 1999, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/11999/25 "1999-12-09T05:36:00Z")
I don’t know if this is the one you were thinking of, Neuro, but. . . Jingle bells, cockle shells Grandma’s got a gun She shot gramps in the underwear In 1991 – Sylence * * * I don’t have an evil side. Just a really, really apathetic one. ---
**Author:** ![neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ab097/32.png) [@neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neuro-trash_grrrl)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 1999, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/11999/26 "1999-12-09T05:45:00Z")
Perhaps. But that’s okay, I’ve got another one: Deck the halls with gasoline, fa la la la la la la la la Light a match and watch it gleam, fa la la la la la la la la Watch the schoolhouse burn to ashes, fa la la la la la la la la Aren’t you glad you played with matches? Fa la la la la la la la la! * * * “That’s entertainment!” —Vlad the Impaler ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 1999, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/11999/27 "1999-12-09T12:36:00Z")
Neurro, that sounds awfully close to a Shawn Colvin song… (Winking at Tom) And per Tom’s request, here is MY rendition of a family favorite, “On Top of Spaghetti”. (Clearing throat) On top of Spaaaa-ghetti, All covered with cheese, I lost my poor meatball, When somebody sneezed. It rolled off of the taaa-ble, And onto the floor. And then my poor meatball, Rolled out of the door. It rolled into the garrrr-den, And under a bush. And now my poor meatball, Is nothing but mush! Thank you!! thankyouverymuch! ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 1999, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/11999/28 "1999-12-09T13:37:00Z")
Gee, what’s on today’s menu? Gobs and gobs of greasy, grimy, gopher guts, marinated monkey feet, NTG’s little dirty feet! 😉 French fried eyeballs dipped in a bowl of glue I forgot my spoon… _Have a straw!_ Blood sandwiches-Spuds on top. monkey vomit, camel snot. Rabbits eyeballs dipped in glue Yummy, yummy good for you. . . . . . Don’t even get me _started_ on the “Deck The Halls With Gasoline” parody. * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. ---
**Author:** ![Mr\_Thin\_Skin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@Mr\_Thin\_Skin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr_Thin_Skin)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 1999, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/11999/29 "1999-12-09T13:46:00Z")
Back in the late 60s I remember _Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts_, _On Top of Spaghetti_, and _Jiggle Bells, Batman Smells_ being on a red 45 we used to play all the time. ---
**Author:** ![Mr\_Thin\_Skin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@Mr\_Thin\_Skin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr_Thin_Skin)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 1999, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/11999/30 "1999-12-09T13:51:00Z")
One more from that red 45: Oh Dunderbeck, Oh Dunderbeck How could you be so mean To ever have invented The sausage meat machine And now all the neigbors cats and dogs Will never more be seen Since you invented The sausage meat machine. ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 1999, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/11999/31 "1999-12-09T14:40:00Z")
On top of a beeeeer can, all covered with foam, I had one to maaaaany, and couldn’t get home. They called for a taaaaaxi, the one with the stars, It took me to the hoteeeeel, the one with the bars. Sorry… it’s all I can remember for now. I’m trying to remember a Jingle Bells type song that ends with …oh what fun it is to ride in a crashed up Chevrolet! Enright3 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f8ce5/32.png) [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 1999, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/11999/32 "1999-12-09T21:26:00Z")
Do any of you remember a long song about a strange junior high and a skinny girl named Alice. We sang the damn thing in Boy Scouts and two lines still haunt my brain: “Oh my goodness, oh my soul! There goes Alice down the hole To the sewer, to the sewer, to the sewer.” The second line said the school’s colors were purple and white. “White is for purity and purple is for fight, fight, fight!” I would appreciate it if someone with a better memory would post the song’s title and any other lines they remember. * * * The Coyote gnaws … but he does not swallow. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 1999, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/11999/33 "1999-12-09T21:37:00Z")
Isn’t “On top of spaghetti” a Shel S. poem? Anyone remember the words to the one… goes something like Magdelina Hagdelina (something something something something) she had two hairs on her head one was alive and the other was dead (blah blah) she had to teeth in her mouth one pointed north and the other one south (blah blah) and ended with something about having two feet like bathroom mats? * * * – Teeming Millions: [http://fathom.org/teemingmillions](http://fathom.org/teemingmillions) “Meat flaps, yellow!” - DrainBead, naked co-ed Twister chat O p a l C a t [www.opalcat.com](http://www.opalcat.com) ---
**Author:** ![Stevie\_Rave\_On](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Stevie\_Rave\_On](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stevie_Rave_On)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 1999, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/11999/34 "1999-12-09T21:43:00Z")
I never heard that “Great big globs…” thing except the first line is spoken in one of the funniest movies ever, _Caddyshack_, by Bill Murray as he’s trying to kill the gopher. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 1999, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/11999/35 "1999-12-09T21:53:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Anyone remember the words to the one… goes something like Magdelina Hagdelina (something something something something)–Opal Hi Opal! Yup, I remember it (partially). Goes something like this: Hagnalina Magnalina Hoopensteiner Wallendiner Hogan Logan Bogan was her name. She had to hairs growin’ out her head One was alive, and the other was dead. Hagnalina Magnalina Hoopensteiner Wallendiner Hogan Logan Bogan was her name. She had to eyes buggin’ out her head One was green and the other was red. Hagnalina Magnalina Hoopensteiner Wallendiner Hogan Logan Bogan was her name. She had to teeth pokin’ out her mouth, One pointed east and the other pointed south. Hagnalina Magnalina Hoopensteiner Wallendiner Hogan Logan Bogan was her name. (don’t remember the rest…) Has anyone ever heard this one?: Eenie beanie popsideanie All ball boomsalini Georgie Porgie Liberace, and his brother John. Have a peach, have a plum, Have a stick of chewing gum. If you want it, Aleman Aleman, hocus pocus Donnalocus San Diego Dandiego equals GRAVY! * * * **StoryTyler** _I am too in shape! :::muttering::: Round is a shape._ [C’mon up and see me sometime.](http://sites.netscape.net/storytyler/homepage) ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 1999, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/11999/36 "1999-12-10T00:21:00Z")
Growing up in Northern NY we learned a slight different variant: Three quart jars of greasy grimy gopher guts Marmaladed monkey’s feet Chopped up baby parakeet Three quart jars of greasy grimy gopher guts And I forgot my spoon ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 1999, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/11999/37 "1999-12-10T01:04:00Z")
In the 60’s & 70’s-- we had the Batman xmas song, Chicago/Milwalkee area versions were mutually identical. **BUT** … it was “batmobile, lost a wheel, Comissioner broke his leg!” * * * Save The Endangered Jackalope! Send Cash Now! If You Do This, I Will Use The Cash To Save Any Jackalope That I Happen To Find! Send Cash Now! Before It’s Too Late! My Bills, I Mean **The Jackalope’s Bills** Are Due The 15th Of The Month! _This has been a message from the Illuminated Committee To Save The Jackalope. Fnord._ ---
**Author:** ![Gaudere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e495f1/32.png) [@Gaudere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gaudere)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 1999, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/11999/38 "1999-12-10T01:45:00Z")
I learned a different version of the sausage machine song. Oh Mr. Johnny Quebec, How could you be so mean? We told you you’d be sorry For inventing that machine Now all the neighbor’s cats and dogs Will nevermore be seen They’ve all been ground to sausages In Johnny Quebec’s machine One day the machine broke The darn thing wouldn’t run So Johnny Quebec, he crawled inside He thought it would be fun Along came his wi-ife She though she’d play a prank She gave the crank A heck of a yank And Johnny Quebec was meat! Oh Mr. Johnny Quebec, How could you be so mean? We told you you’d be sorry For inventing that machine Now even Mr. Johnny Quebec Will nevermore be seen 'Cause he’s been ground to sausages In his very own machine! ---
**Author:** ![Brightmoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b487fb/32.png) [@Brightmoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brightmoon)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 1999, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/11999/39 "1999-12-10T02:38:00Z")
the gopher guts song as i remember it goes: Great big globs of gresy grimy gopher guts Marinated monkey meat french fried birdy feet Lizards eyeballs dipped in kerosien and i forgot my spoon but i still have my straw. SLURPPPPPPP!!! thats how this kid learned it. * * * Whatever!!! Just don’t screw up my life with your wicked stupid ideas! ---
**Author:** ![Jois](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ea666f/32.png) [@Jois](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jois)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 1999, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/11999/40 "1999-12-10T03:38:00Z")
Mr. Coyote, We learned this as kids: Alice, where are you going? Upstairs to take a bath. Alice has legs like tooth picks and a neck like a giraff. Oh my goodness, oh my soul, there goes Alice down the hole. Alice, where are you going? Glug, glug, glug. Not quite the boy scout song, is it? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/11999.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/11999.md?page=3)