# "Jingle Bells Batman Smells..." **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** music\ **Created:** [December 16, 2021, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164 "2021-12-16T18:51:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2021, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/41 "2021-12-17T04:10:22Z")
Or this: Ajax It makes your teeth green Ajax It tastes like gasoline Ajax It works like Ex-Lax So take some Ajax, and Ex-lax, today! (okay…) Or THIS: [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/-VLcJgrzzJ0/maxresdefault.jpg "Jingle Bells") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VLcJgrzzJ0) ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2021, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/42 "2021-12-17T04:12:37Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > Also, a relevant message: > > [https://i.pinimg.com/originals/d1/77/82/d17782b054a78eed9dfe9135e02f6075.jpg](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/d1/77/82/d17782b054a78eed9dfe9135e02f6075.jpg) [![](https://i.imgflip.com/3ibn6k.jpg) ](https://i.imgflip.com/3ibn6k.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2021, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/43 "2021-12-17T04:27:53Z")
Do versions with “commissioner” add notes? If you take the Joker version (the one I knew), there aren’t enough syllables if you use “commissioner” at all. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2021, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/44 "2021-12-17T04:29:22Z")
> [@Leaper](#): > > Do versions with “commissioner” add notes? Not as I recall it – you just sing “commissioner” really fast, and it comes out as three syllables: “commishner.” ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2021, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/45 "2021-12-17T04:32:57Z")
Jingle Bells, Batman Smells Robin laid an egg Batmobile lost its wheel and Joker got away ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2021, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/46 "2021-12-17T05:19:18Z")
> [@aceplace57](#): > > Did you hear about the Nudist Colony’s Christmas show? > > They were singing Jingle Balls, Jingle Balls jingle all the way. Nudist colony at Christmas time? If your balls were frozen solid they’d jingle with a hollow ring too. ---
**Author:** ![JohnGalt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johngalt/32/184_2.png) [@JohnGalt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnGalt)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2021, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/47 "2021-12-17T05:25:43Z")
I think this was one of the first questions I asked on SDMB (back in 1999?) I had just seen the Simpsons first episode (as a rerun) and Bart got yanked away before the last line. I had never heard it before. The answer back then was “And the Joker got away”. ---
**Author:** ![TimfromNapa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d26b3c/32.png) [@TimfromNapa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TimfromNapa)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2021, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/48 "2021-12-17T19:48:03Z")
Here are some more hits from the past: Winston tastes bad Like the one I just had All filter, no flavor And rolled in toilet paper We’re havin’ Beefaroni It’s made from spoiled baloney Beefaroni’s really neat Makes you vomit on the street Hooraaay! Weeeee! For Chef Boyardee Beefaroni ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2021, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/49 "2021-12-17T22:28:09Z")
Lincoln, Lincoln, I’ve been thinkin’ What the heck have you been drinkin? Is it whisky, is it wine Oh my gosh it’s turpentine ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2021, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/50 "2021-12-18T01:24:17Z")
I don’t know any spoof lyrics for [the “Spiderman” theme.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4o29VoxtsFk) Yeah, Homer didn’t know the lyrics…doesn’t really count. That’s the best theme song ever. Honorable mentions: [Pink Panther Theme](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lp6z3s1Gig0) [Mary Tyler Moore theme](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYgKcUDZ-E0) [Roadrunner theme](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwYQsZuh2CM) Tarzan the monkey man Lost his pants and away he ran… ---
**Author:** ![P-man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/p-man/32/3606_2.png) [@P-man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/P-man)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2021, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/51 "2021-12-18T01:59:21Z")
Tarzan the monkey man Swinging on a rubber band Along came Superman Knocked him in the frying pan. This one is still around, not changed too much. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2021, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/52 "2021-12-18T02:12:25Z")
> [@lobotomyboy63](#): > > I don’t know any spoof lyrics for [the “Spiderman” theme.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4o29VoxtsFk) How about spoof lyrics about another Marvel hero using the same tune? _Iron Man, Iron Man Does whatever an iron can! Presses pants, any size Even does shirts and ties Look out! Here comes an Iron Man_ ---
**Author:** ![ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chockfullofheadygoodness/32/511_2.png) [@ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2021, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/53 "2021-12-18T05:33:32Z")
What about the added parts to Rudolph? Any regional variations there? I grew up (1970s) with: Rudolph the red nosed reindeer (_reindeer_) Had a very shiny nose (_like Pinnochio_) And if you ever saw it (_saw it_) You would even say it glows (_like a light bulb_) All of the other reindeer (_reindeer_) Used to laugh and call him names (_like Poindexter_) They never let poor Rudolph (_Rudolph_) Join in any reindeer games (_like Monopoly_) Then one foggy Christmas eve, Santa came to say (_Ho ho ho_) Rudoph with your nose so bright, won’t you guide my sleigh tonight Then all the reindeer loved him (_loved him_) As they shouted out with glee (_like the toothpaste_) Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer (_reindeer_) You’ll go down in history (_like Columbus_) I know Bart Simpson used “like Attila the Hun” for the last line. ---
**Author:** ![jasg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f0a364/32.png) [@jasg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jasg)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2021, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/54 "2021-12-18T05:44:37Z")
> [@Guest-starring\_Id](#): > > And Robin just got laid? Small town Pennsylvania, 60s - “and Robin laid an egg” ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2021, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/55 "2021-12-18T13:43:38Z")
Southeast Wisconsin late 60’s. Heard both versions but more the Joker version about 100 to 1. Heard more ditties about one killing his teacher and such. Never questioned how a grade school kid got his hands on a loaded 44 and hand grenades. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2021, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/56 "2021-12-18T14:03:55Z")
Yeah, that one was horrifying given what happens in schools these days - I learned it as My eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school We have tortured every teacher, we have broken every rule We have shot the principal dead, we have shot him in the head Our school is marching on. Glory, glory hallelujah Glory, glory what’s it to ya? I stood by the door with a loaded 44 And that teacher don’t teach no more. YIKES. ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2021, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/57 "2021-12-18T14:07:12Z")
> [@Guest-starring\_Id](#): > > Robin just got laid? Two grown men living together, not dating anyone? The rumor was they were gay—Buttman and Throbbin. ![](https://media1.tenor.com/m/3VO--5cjZZoAAAAC/seinfeld-not-that-theres-anything-wrong-with-that.gif "Seinfeld Not That Theres Anything Wrong With That GIF - Seinfeld Not That Theres...") [Ace and Gary from SNL](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7m9-UCuOfSE) > [@pkbites](#): > > Heard more ditties about one killing his teacher and such. Tra la la boom di yay We have no school today We shot her yesterday Tra la la boom di yay In a different vein… My bonnie lies over the ocean My mommy lies over the bed My daddy lies over my mommy And that’s how we got little Fred ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2021, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/58 "2021-12-18T14:17:55Z")
On top of Old Smokey All covered in blood I shot my poor teacher With a 44 slug I went to her funeral I went to her grave While others threw flowers I threw a grenade I opened her casket The bitch still was not dead So I took a bazooka And blowed off her head! ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2021, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/59 "2021-12-18T14:34:58Z")
On top of Old Smokey All covered with sand I shot my poor teacher With a red rubber band I shot her with pleasure I shot her with pride I could not have missed her She’s forty feet wide I went to her funeral I went to her grave While others threw flowers I threw a grenade ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2021, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/60 "2021-12-18T15:09:13Z")
Glory, glory, halleluja, Teacher hit me with a ruler, Met her at the door, with a loaded .44, And she ain’t my teacher no more. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164.md?page=4)