# "Jingle Bells Batman Smells..." **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** music\ **Created:** [December 16, 2021, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164 "2021-12-16T18:51:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Quimby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/22d042/32.png) [@Quimby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quimby)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2021, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/61 "2021-12-18T15:21:06Z")
We had this one except the gun was edited out and that line was “We hit her in the butt with a rotten coconut”. And at the end there was a line that was sung but not the same tune that said “I wonder whyyy” We also had the “Burning of the School” one above but I remember some kids said “broken all the rules” and some said “broken all the rulers” and the lines after were different also but I don’t remember the details. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2021, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/62 "2021-12-18T15:56:46Z")
I found the lyrics to, “Rudolph, The Disco Reindeer,” from **National Lampoon** , but I can’t figure out how to post it so you all don’t have to scroll through 38 pages looking for it. If you’re adventurous, here’s the URL (page 38, lower right-hand corner): [http://www.luckyfrogfarms.com/cook/NL/1970’s/1979/1979\_12.pdf](http://www.luckyfrogfarms.com/cook/NL/1970's/1979/1979_12.pdf) ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2021, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/63 "2021-12-18T16:49:01Z")
I recall several versions of “Frosty the Dopeman” that differed from the one played on Dr. Demento. I’ve always wondered which came first. Was the recorded version (by Marc Zydiak) an adaptation of a schoolyard parody or were the schoolyard parodies adaptations of the recording? ---
**Author:** ![Hatchie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hatchie/32/3983_2.png) [@Hatchie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hatchie)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2021, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/64 "2021-12-18T17:02:49Z")
Some old ones, before my time (no, really!) Order in the court! The judge is eatin’ beans Hitler’s in the bathtub, sinkin’ submarines! Whistle while you work Stevenson’s a jerk Eisenhower, fanny power Whistle while you work ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2021, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/65 "2021-12-18T19:25:15Z")
We sang the Seven Dwarfs song from Snow White when I was in school. _Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to school we go With razor blades and hand grenades, hi ho, hi ho_ _Hi ho, hi ho, hi ho, I bit the teacher’s toe She bit me back, the dirty rat, hi ho, hi ho_ _Hi ho, hi ho, hi ho, it’s home from school we go We used our blades and hand grenades, hi ho, hi ho_ ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2021, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/66 "2021-12-18T21:30:49Z")
The Catholic school version had bad things happening to the nuns. Use your imagination. ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2021, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/67 "2021-12-19T01:24:39Z")
> [@mbh](#): > > Glory, glory, halleluja, > Teacher hit me with a ruler, > Met her at the door, with a loaded .44, > And she ain’t my teacher no more. I remember the last line as “And she ain’t gonna hit me no more.” ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2021, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/68 "2021-12-19T01:36:21Z")
> [@mbh](#): > > Glory, glory, halleluja, > Teacher hit me with a ruler… …Bopped her in the bean With a rotten tangerine, And boy did she turn green ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2021, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/69 "2021-12-19T06:54:51Z")
Does anyone remember anything similar to this, sung to the tune of “Frere Jacques”: Marijuana, marijuana LSD, LSD Heroin and cocaine, heroin and cocaine Fun for me, fun for me. The reason I ask is because I have an unreliable memory that I invented that particular set of lyrics one summer at Girl Scout camp. On the one hand, this seems extremely unlikely. On the other, that’s EXACTLY the sort of obnoxious thing I would have come up with as a callow youth. (For the record, I was a complete innocent who never once consumed any psychoactive drugs. That didn’t stop me from affecting a world-weary, all-too-knowing persona.) ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2021, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/70 "2021-12-19T12:30:58Z")
> [@CairoCarol](#): > > Does anyone remember anything similar to this, sung to the tune of “Frere Jacques”: > > Marijuana, marijuana > LSD, LSD > Heroin and cocaine, heroin and cocaine > Fun for me, fun for me. Marijuana, marijuana LSD, LSD College kids are making it Teenagers are taking it Why can’t we? Why can’t we? I was in 2nd grade in the 60’s when I heard this parody to the Addams Family theme: The Addams Family started When Uncle Fester farted The all came out retarded We watch them on TV! ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2021, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/71 "2021-12-19T12:51:24Z")
Yes! You’ve jogged my memory. Now I recall the “why can’t we, why can’t we” line, but I don’t have even a false memory of inventing it. Good, I wasn’t quite as sociopathic as I thought I might have been. ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2021, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/72 "2021-12-19T13:00:38Z")
> [@CairoCarol](#): > > Good, I wasn’t quite as sociopathic as I thought I might have been. Yes you were. All kids are nutz in one way or another. And those of us that grew up in the 60’s and 70’s were even nuttier than any other generation. ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2021, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/73 "2021-12-19T13:43:53Z")
Milk, milk, lemonade 'Round the corner fudge is made! Lizzie Borden took an ax, And gave her mother forty whacks, When she saw what she had done She gave her father forty-one. Here lies Les Moore Shot in the head with a forty-four No Less No More. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2021, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/74 "2021-12-19T14:55:49Z")
> [@CairoCarol](#): > > Does anyone remember anything similar to this, sung to the tune of “Frere Jacques”: > > Marijuana, marijuana > LSD, LSD > Heroin and cocaine, heroin and cocaine > Fun for me, fun for me. When I was in elementary school, it was _Marijuana, marijuana LSD, LSD Scientists make it, teachers take it Why can’t we? Why can’t we?_ ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2021, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/75 "2021-12-19T15:20:48Z")
What about this version of the Notre Dame fight song? _We never stagger, we never fall We sober up on grain alcohol Send somebody out for gin And don’t let the sober sophomores in_ ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2021, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/76 "2021-12-19T15:42:04Z")
Adult content ahead: Come and listen to my story about a perv named Jed Took Elly May and threw her on the bed Pulled down his zipper, out popped a worm In her fat ass with the bubbling sperm Jizz that is. Pearl cream. Testes tea. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2021, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/77 "2021-12-19T19:43:31Z")
> [@Leaper](#): > > Do versions with “commissioner” add notes? If you take the Joker version (the one I knew), there aren’t enough syllables if you use “commissioner” at all. Sorta, but they’re more like grace notes. You wind up saying the name like “c’ **mish** ’ner,” with the “mish” aligning with the “Jo” of “Joker”, and the " 'ner" aligning with the “er.” I suspect that the Joker/away version came first. The above is one of the reasons: it’s a bit harder to fit in. The other reason is that it finds a rhyme to “egg.” And, in general, you find that the ones that “fix” the issues came second. Plus it wouldn’t surprise me if the original was by people who pronounce “egg” as “ayg,” which makes it more nearly rhyme with “away,” especially if you say the g softly. ---
**Author:** ![Icerigger](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icerigger/32/432_2.png) [@Icerigger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icerigger)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2021, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/78 "2021-12-19T19:53:15Z")
In my neck of the woods, Erie PA in the early 70’s it was somewhat different: Jingle Bells, Santa Smells Easter’s on it’s way The Batmobile lost it’s wheel and The Joker got away ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2021, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/79 "2021-12-19T23:40:16Z")
The version I heard was already out of date when I was in middle school: _Marijuana, Marijuana_ _LSD, LSD_ _President Nixon makes it_ _LBJ takes it_ _Why can’t we?_ ---
**Author:** ![mcgato](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac8455/32.png) [@mcgato](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mcgato)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2021, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/80 "2021-12-20T13:51:59Z")
Wow, am I the only one that had Alfred breaking his leg? Minnesota in the 1970s. Jingle bells Batman smells Robin laid an egg The batmobile lost its wheel And Alfred broke his leg. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164.md?page=5)