# "Jingle Bells Batman Smells..." **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** music\ **Created:** [December 16, 2021, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164 "2021-12-16T18:51:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Quimby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/22d042/32.png) [@Quimby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quimby)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2021, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/101 "2021-12-29T23:41:09Z")
For us it was Great big globs of greasy grimy gopher guts Mutilated monkey meat Petrified gorilla’s feet French fried eyeballs swimming in a pool of blood. And I forgot my spoon (But I’ve got my strawwwwww) The last line was optional, as was a slurping sound. ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2021, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/102 "2021-12-30T00:24:42Z")
As I recall, we had another ditty to that tune. Suppose you want to tease your friend Karla… Here comes Karla walking down the Delaware Chewing on her underwear Can’t afford another pair Ten days later bitten by a polar bear That’s how the polar bear died ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2021, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/103 "2021-12-30T00:31:33Z")
My brain, which hasn’t heard or even thought about that for decades, is telling me it’s supposed to be “five days.” And “_floating_ down the Delaware.” ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2021, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/104 "2021-12-30T01:13:02Z")
Eight days later. I don’t know why. And the polar bear didn’t die, the person you were singing the song about did. Oh, and yeah, floating, not walking. ---
**Author:** ![themapleleaf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/themapleleaf/32/14349_2.png) [@themapleleaf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/themapleleaf)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2021, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/105 "2021-12-30T01:35:48Z")
I learned it like this: Jingle bells, Batman smells Robin laid an egg The Batmobile popped a wheel And the Joker did ballet I was a bit disappointed when, in the Simpsons pilot Bart sang merely that he had gotten away, but it was a treat one way or another to hear a kid sing the song on network television. ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2021, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/106 "2021-12-30T02:09:45Z")
> [@Wheelz](#): > > And the polar bear didn’t die, the person you were singing the song about did. The logic was that Karla smelled so bad that after ingesting a bit of her, the polar bear died. Why it was “walking” down the Delaware…I got nothing, but that’s how we sang it. ---
**Author:** ![xtenkfarpl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/c2a13f/32.png) [@xtenkfarpl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xtenkfarpl)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2022, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/107 "2022-01-16T17:25:16Z")
Jingle Bells, Batman smells Rotting on the sleigh. He stinks because he is in an Advanced state of Decay. ---
**Author:** ![mordecaiB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mordecaib/32/7725_2.png) [@mordecaiB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mordecaiB)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2022, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/108 "2022-01-16T22:41:26Z")
> [@lobotomyboy63](#): > > Great big globs of > Greasy grimy gopher guts > Mutilated monkey feet > Disconnected horses hooves > French fried eyeballs > floating in a pool of blood > That’s what we always eat. Close. Great big gobs of Greasy grimy gopher gut Mashed up monkey meat French fried parakeet Lukewarm vomit Pooling up around the side Me without my spoon Yum!Yum! ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2022, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/109 "2022-01-17T16:33:58Z")
What’s that other stupid ditty that has a double-entendre ending each line (and beginning the next?) Something like: The boys are in the bathroom pulling down their… Flies are in the kitchen, birds are in the park ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2022, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/110 "2022-01-17T17:04:45Z")
I don’t know, but there’s this one from _South Park_. Mrs. Landers was a health nut. She cooked food in a wok. Mr. Harris was her boyfriend, and he had a great big- Cock-a-doodle-doodle. The rooster just won’t quit, and I don’t want my breakfast, because it tastes like- Shih Tzus make good house pets. They’re cuddly and sweet. Monkeys aren’t good to have, 'cause they like to beat their- Meeting in the office. A meeting in the hall. The boss, he wants to see you, so you can suck his- Balzac was a writer. He lived with Allen Funt. Mrs. Roberts didn’t like him, but that’s 'cause she’s a- Contaminated water, can really make you sick. Your bladder gets infected, and blood comes out your- Dictate what I’m saying, 'cause it will bring you luck, and if you all don’t like it, I don’t give a flying fuck! ---
**Author:** ![Mark\_Finn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/34f0e0/32.png) [@Mark\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mark_Finn)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2022, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/111 "2022-01-18T12:13:52Z")
Oscar Brand’s “A Clean Song” from the early 50’s is a classic. Here it is with subtitled lyrics. [A Clean Song - Oscar Brand - YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-K-bHa3f4g) ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2022, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/112 "2022-01-18T17:04:46Z")
Ha! That a different tune, but the exact kind of silliness. Funny how far back some ‘modern’ terms go. ---
**Author:** ![Folly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folly/32/3219_2.png) [@Folly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folly)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2022, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164/113 "2022-01-18T17:19:27Z")
Summer camp Hello mother, hello father. I am smoking Marijuana, Coke is good… Crack is better I’m so drunk that I can barely write this letter [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jingle-bells-batman-smells/956164.md?page=5)