# Joan Rivers has died \[updated thread title\] **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 28, 2014, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joan-rivers-has-died-updated-thread-title/696771 "2014-08-28T17:20:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joan-rivers-has-died-updated-thread-title/696771/101 "2014-09-05T03:14:56Z")
> [@Washoe](#): > > I do so hope that she’s cremated. I’m racking my brains trying to cook up a zinger as we speak. Cremated? You mean melted down. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joan-rivers-has-died-updated-thread-title/696771/102 "2014-09-05T03:26:00Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Cremated? You mean melted down. Recycled. ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joan-rivers-has-died-updated-thread-title/696771/103 "2014-09-05T06:12:48Z")
> [@MichaelEmouse](#): > > She was born in the wrong country. If she’d been born in Germany, she’d have made 'em laugh all the way to the gas chamber. > [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Jesus, Michael. From Joan Rivers herself [http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/film/starsandstories/8096974/Joan-Rivers-the-queen-of-comedy-reflects-on-her-past.html](http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/film/starsandstories/8096974/Joan-Rivers-the-queen-of-comedy-reflects-on-her-past.html) > [@](#): > > “As comedians, we are all laughing because life is so horrible,” she says. “Life is so difficult and I cope with it by making jokes about absolutely everything. I just wrote today on Twitter: 'Hitler: like him or not, he was a great dancer.’ Some people ask, how can you make a joke about that, or 9/11? I would have made jokes in concentration camps. You have two choices: laugh or die.” ---
**Author:** ![brachyrhynchos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brachyrhynchos/32/376_2.png) [@brachyrhynchos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brachyrhynchos)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joan-rivers-has-died-updated-thread-title/696771/104 "2014-09-05T06:35:26Z")
From Fashion Police, about a particularly ugly pair of shoes: “They’re the worst thing for feet since Type 2 diabetes.” As a diabetic with neuropathy, that line just made me laugh many times. RIP Joan. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joan-rivers-has-died-updated-thread-title/696771/105 "2014-09-05T13:11:18Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Jesus, Michael. Don’t you mean “Oh, grow up!” ? 😉 [Joan’s funeral requests:](http://www.vanityfair.com/vf-hollywood/2014/09/joan-rivers-funeral-meryl-streep-beyonce) > [@](#): > > When I die (and yes, Melissa, that day will come; and yes, Melissa, everything’s in your name), I want my funeral to be a huge showbiz affair with lights, cameras, action . . . . I want craft services, I want paparazzi and I want publicists making a scene! I want it to be Hollywood all the way. I don’t want some rabbi rambling on; I want Meryl Streep crying, in five different accents. I don’t want a eulogy; I want Bobby Vinton to pick up my head and sing “Mr. Lonely.” I want to look gorgeous, better dead than I do alive. I want to be buried in a Valentino gown and I want Harry Winston to make me a toe tag. And I want a wind machine so that even in the casket my hair is blowing just like Beyoncé’s. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joan-rivers-has-died-updated-thread-title/696771/106 "2014-09-05T14:33:55Z")
I loved her voicing Annie Dubinsky in “The Ten-Per-Cent Solution” Simpsons episode. ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joan-rivers-has-died-updated-thread-title/696771/107 "2014-09-05T14:43:34Z")
I understand she even had the chutzpah to make wisecracks about Anne Frank. How many other people would dare do that? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joan-rivers-has-died-updated-thread-title/696771/108 "2014-09-05T14:47:49Z")
> [@dougie\_monty](#): > > I understand she even had the chutzpah to make wisecracks about Anne Frank. How many other people would dare do that? Plenty. Google the words “Anne Frank jokes” and you’ll see some. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joan-rivers-has-died-updated-thread-title/696771/109 "2014-09-05T15:15:52Z")
Laugh or die. My mother was a great one for poking fun at things and making jokes and laughing at the neighbors, not in a mean spirited way, but in an isn’t -this -absurd- way. Her nephew came to visit often and they would laugh together! He had a messed up back, they couldn’t do a thing about his unending intractible pain except give him loads of heavy drugs. But he did pretty well and tried to keep a good outlook, and he said to me once, “your mom makes me laugh so much. Isn’t it a good thing, to keep laughing, Salinqmind. What other choice do I have, but to laugh?” I see where Joan Rivers was coming from in that way. Black humour, laugh or die! ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joan-rivers-has-died-updated-thread-title/696771/110 "2014-09-05T15:20:45Z")
> [@dougie\_monty](#): > > I understand she even had the chutzpah to make wisecracks about Anne Frank. How many other people would dare do that? > [@Marley23](#): > > Plenty. Google the words “Anne Frank jokes” and you’ll see some. Seriously, even Helen Keller has seen Anne Frank jokes. Unfortunately, the only person who could have come up with a proper Holocaust+dead baby+Anne Frank+Helen Keller joke has just died. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joan-rivers-has-died-updated-thread-title/696771/111 "2014-09-05T19:14:35Z")
Why was Pia Zadora a bust in the stage version of _ **The Diary of Anne Frank** _? Every time the Nazis showed up, the audience would yell _“She’s in the fucking attic!”_ Where did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joan-rivers-has-died-updated-thread-title/696771/112 "2014-09-05T20:30:01Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > Why was Pia Zadora a bust in the stage version of _ **The Diary of Anne Frank** _? > > Every time the Nazis showed up, the audience would yell _“She’s in the fucking attic!”_ I don’t get it. Does it have something to do with _Santa Claus Conquers the Martians_? ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_T-Cups](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Sir\_T-Cups](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_T-Cups)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joan-rivers-has-died-updated-thread-title/696771/113 "2014-09-05T20:52:03Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > Why was Pia Zadora a bust in the stage version of _ **The Diary of Anne Frank** _? > > Every time the Nazis showed up, the audience would yell _“She’s in the fucking attic!”_ > > Where did Helen Keller meet her husband? > > On a blind date. > > 😃 “If I could have any child I would want Helen Keller, because she doesn’t speak” ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joan-rivers-has-died-updated-thread-title/696771/114 "2014-09-05T21:20:22Z")
NPR’s Fresh Air had an[interview](http://www.npr.org/programs/fresh-air/) with her today. “Until I was nine years old, my Mother tried to get an abortion. ‘Doctor, is there any way to get rid of this thing?’” ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joan-rivers-has-died-updated-thread-title/696771/115 "2014-09-05T22:13:42Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > I don’t get it. Does it have something to do with _Santa Claus Conquers the Martians_? There’s a persistent urban legend that’s been around for years that (generic bad actress) was in a performance of The Diary of Anne Frank and was so horrible that when the Nazis came to the door, the entire audience yelled “She’s in the attic!” Pia Zadora seems to be attributed to be the actress in question a large percentage of the time. [Snopes says “Nope!”, though.](http://www.snopes.com/movies/actors/attic.asp) ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joan-rivers-has-died-updated-thread-title/696771/116 "2014-09-05T22:28:52Z")
> [@tapu](#): > > No kidding? Jon Stewart is Jewish? Only on his parents’ side. > [@Labrador\_Deceiver](#): > > She still was really funny. Her standup continued to kill right up to the end, no pun intended. Actually, by coincidence, I saw an old ep of a TV show where she did a straight dramatic turn, and she was really good. I’d never seen her play straight drama-- I would have expected it to be big, and melodramatic-- the drama version of her comedic persona, but it was understated, and perfect. I admit to being pleasantly surprised, and also to the fact that if she had not unfortunately been in the news lately, I would not have watched it, but however it happened, I’m glad I saw it. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joan-rivers-has-died-updated-thread-title/696771/117 "2014-09-05T22:32:42Z")
We just started watching _Louie_ and she was really good on that, too. Come to think of it that’s two _Louie_ guest stars who’ve died in the last couple of weeks. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joan-rivers-has-died-updated-thread-title/696771/118 "2014-09-05T22:59:22Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > Only on his parents’ side. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2014, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joan-rivers-has-died-updated-thread-title/696771/119 "2014-09-06T02:28:32Z")
Since she liked to joke about the death of others, her it goes: Q: How were they able to determine the time of her death? A: Caustic bile stopped coming out of her mouth. She wasn’t well liked, but she will have many mourners at her memorial services, and the annual plastic surgeons convention across town will mysteriously be unattended. Now that Joan Rivers has finally shut up once and for all, can someone else talk? They say her heart stopped beating. Even Dick Cheney is surprised she had one. She gave such rapid fire insults when alive that when she got old and hard of hearing, she just gave up hope when she misunderstood when she heard she would be forced into a comma. Her commentary on fashion was the sarcastic idea of a depressed gay Hollywood producer who committed suicide when it actually was a hit. Poor Edgar. Oh, grow up, you know you thought it. We only tease the ones we love. We just badmouth Joan. Melissa Rivers is really quite attractive. I feel sorry for the family whose baby she switched at the hospital. ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2014, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joan-rivers-has-died-updated-thread-title/696771/120 "2014-09-06T04:26:04Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Cremated? You mean melted down. Well: Cremate her? They can’t do that. They don’t have any cream. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joan-rivers-has-died-updated-thread-title/696771.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joan-rivers-has-died-updated-thread-title/696771.md?page=7)