# Joan Rivers Joke?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joan-rivers-joke/349351
**Category:** Cafe Society
**Created:** [March 21, 2006, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joan-rivers-joke/349351 "2006-03-21T22:07:59Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)
#### Post date: [March 21, 2006, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joan-rivers-joke/349351/1 "2006-03-21T22:07:59Z")
No, not “is Joan Rivers a joke?” Different question.
But here’s a real “joke” of hers:
> [@](#):
>
> A friend of mine was taking the pill and was in great trouble because they said, “Take one a day,” and didn’t tell her where to put it. Every night she put it in her ear, and the next thing she knew she was eight months gone.
Huh? She put it in her ear? What’s this supposed to be making fun of? Not even blond jokes are this obtuse. Am I missing something or is this the least funny joke of all time?
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### Author:  [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)
#### Post date: [March 21, 2006, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joan-rivers-joke/349351/2 "2006-03-21T22:19:52Z")
I have a feeling that this may be a cleaned-up version of a dirtier joke. Substitute “pussy” or “asshole” for “ear.” Still not a very funny joke but at least it makes a little more sense.
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### Author:  [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)
#### Post date: [March 21, 2006, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joan-rivers-joke/349351/3 "2006-03-21T22:25:12Z")
On her short-lived talk show on Fox in the 80s, she had the Beastie Boys on as guests and was visibly nervous about having them around. The next night, she had the hair band Poison on (They sang “Talk Dirty To Me”). She loved them, cheered the song, and said “You guys are The Beastie Boys–with manners!” The band’s jaws dropped and they cut quickly to a commercial.
Joan was one funny gal back in the day. But that day was one where Eisenhower was still President.
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### Author:  [@SkeptiJess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkeptiJess)
#### Post date: [March 21, 2006, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joan-rivers-joke/349351/4 "2006-03-21T22:32:26Z")
**Exapno Mapcase** , you must have the same Stand-Up-Comedian-Joke-of-the-Day desk calendar that I have. I didn’t get it either – it’s certainly the lamest joke in the calendar so far.
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### Author:  [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)
#### Post date: [March 21, 2006, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joan-rivers-joke/349351/5 "2006-03-21T22:42:48Z")
I’m still trying to figure out what “eight months gone” means.
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### Author:  [@Pashnish\_Ewing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pashnish_Ewing)
#### Post date: [March 21, 2006, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joan-rivers-joke/349351/6 "2006-03-21T22:49:32Z")
Well, apparently it wasn’t good enough to make the [Offical Joan Rivers Joke Archive](http://www.joanrivers.com/talk/jokes/). And some pretty crappy ones made the cut.
> [@Joan Rivers Joke Archive](#):
>
> My gardener in the country used to be a tree surgeon–until he fell out of a patient.
I got a chuckle out of this [joke](http://www.cherubsnappyservice.com.au/humour.html) I found while searching for “eight months gone”:
A group of women from the fertility clinic were having a get-together to catch up on each others’ progress.
“Look at you!” said one. “You must be eight months gone!”.
“Yes”, said the expectant mother, “but I finally went to a hypnotherapist.”
“We tried that”, said the first women. “My husband and I went for six or seven sessions but it was no good.”
“You’ve got to go alone”, whispered the pregnant one.
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### Author:  [@Jacob\_Silj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jacob_Silj)
#### Post date: [March 21, 2006, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joan-rivers-joke/349351/7 "2006-03-21T22:52:33Z")
what Otto said. There is some lame joke about blondes that goes “why did the blonde stop taking the pill?” “it kept falling out”. I guess this
implies putting it in her special place, like an IUD? A joke a day calendar of course
could not be dirty, thus the switch to ear. Which begs the question, why, with the thousands of jokes stand ups have ever used, would you pick one that you have to clean up to the point that understanding is lost, especially one that wasn’t funny to begin with?
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### Author:  [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)
#### Post date: [March 21, 2006, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joan-rivers-joke/349351/8 "2006-03-21T22:55:08Z")
> [@Jess](#):
>
> **Exapno Mapcase** , you must have the same Stand-Up-Comedian-Joke-of-the-Day desk calendar that I have. I didn’t get it either – it’s certainly the lamest joke in the calendar so far.
Guilty as charged. (It was in a 75% off bin at B&N in January.) And the other jokes mostly haven’t been great advertisements for the comedians either.
The pussy substitution for ear would at least have the joke make some sense. But can you imagine the scene in the office when they did this?
> [@](#):
>
> Hey, you can’t use the word “pussy” in a calendar.
>
> Why not? We have Jimmy Fallon calling Christina Aguilera a-skanky.
>
> Nobody will complain about that. But they’ll complain if you say pussy.
>
> OK, OK. What if we change pussy to ear?
>
> Ear? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. What, she’s getting fucked in the ear? And getting pregnant? Ear. You’re a moron.
>
> Yeah, but I’m a moron who’ll be able to sell the thing in Barnes & Noble.
>
> All right. But you be the one to call Rivers for approval.
>
> Sure. I’ll just ask her to put the phone to her pussy.
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### Author:  [@Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Laughing_Lagomorph)
#### Post date: [March 22, 2006, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joan-rivers-joke/349351/9 "2006-03-22T02:49:19Z")
> [@Liberal](#):
>
> I’m still trying to figure out what “eight months gone” means.
From the context I’m guessing it means eight months pregnant but I’ve never run across the expression before this either.
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### Author:  [@rjk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjk)
#### Post date: [March 22, 2006, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joan-rivers-joke/349351/10 "2006-03-22T13:34:20Z")
> [@Liberal](#):
>
> I’m still trying to figure out what “eight months gone” means.
And **Laughing Lagomorph** too. Yes, it means pregnant, at least in this context. (Any other use is less common, but it does appear.) IIRC, I’ve heard it on British TV shows and seen it used in books, and it’s used in parts of Canada at least.
Then there’s the British meaning of “knocked up.”
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### Author:  [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)
#### Post date: [March 22, 2006, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joan-rivers-joke/349351/11 "2006-03-22T15:29:32Z")
> [@rjk](#):
>
> Then there’s the British meaning of “knocked up.”
Which is?
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### Author:  [@rjk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjk)
#### Post date: [March 22, 2006, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joan-rivers-joke/349351/12 "2006-03-22T15:37:09Z")
“I’ll come round and knock you up in the morning.” In other words, “I’ll come by and pound on your door.” Not quite the same as the North American meaning.
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### Author:  [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)
#### Post date: [March 22, 2006, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joan-rivers-joke/349351/13 "2006-03-22T17:12:42Z")
So this is the reverse of the joke/UL about the woman who eats spermicidal jelly on her toast every morning and can’t understand why she gets pregnant?
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### Author:  [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)
#### Post date: [March 22, 2006, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joan-rivers-joke/349351/14 "2006-03-22T17:39:22Z")
> [@rjk](#):
>
> And **Laughing Lagomorph** too. Yes, it means pregnant, at least in this context. (Any other use is less common, but it does appear.) IIRC, I’ve heard it on British TV shows and seen it used in books, and it’s used in parts of Canada at least.
>
> Then there’s the British meaning of “knocked up.”
But why would Joan Rivers use Britishisms at all? Are we really sure that this is her joke? Maybe if liberties were taken with “ear”, they were taken otherwise. Yes, I know that the calendar or whatever it is would have to clean up dirty jokes, but what it should do is either (1) don’t use the joke at all, or (2) give some indication that it is not a faithful quote of the original. Misquoting or misattributing just doesn’t seem like a reasonable option to me.
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### Author:  [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)
#### Post date: [March 22, 2006, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joan-rivers-joke/349351/15 "2006-03-22T20:01:48Z")
Maybe the joke was “her rear” and it was mis-transcribed. Not that that makes the joke that much funnier.
[RadarO’Reilly]Those planes are so close they sound like their flying in your rear and out the other![/Radar]
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### Author:  [@NicePete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NicePete)
#### Post date: [March 22, 2006, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joan-rivers-joke/349351/16 "2006-03-22T20:20:01Z")
Hmmm. I opened this thread expecting to see the old one about if Joan Rivers gets one more face lift she’ll have a goatee.
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### Author:  [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)
#### Post date: [March 22, 2006, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joan-rivers-joke/349351/17 "2006-03-22T20:20:41Z")
Okay, I’ll get Pitted for tis, but I’m going to _defend_ Joan Rivers. She was funny, back in the day (I haven’t seen her in a long time, so I don’t know about now. I refuse to watch pre-Oscar shows. Heck, I don’t watch the Oscars.) And that day wasn’t the Eisenhower era.
Back when she was the regular guest host on Carson’s Tonight Show she was pretty good. They even did a 60 Minutes piece on her. Of course, she got offered her own show on Another Network, and after that she didn’t appear on Carson again, opening the way for others, most notably Leno.
i can’t figure he joke in the OP either. Even taken the most likely way, it’s unjustafiably obscure and lame. It sure isn’t prime JR material. But she didn’t makev the calendar, I’ll bet.
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### Author:  [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)
#### Post date: [March 22, 2006, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joan-rivers-joke/349351/18 "2006-03-22T21:16:57Z")
> [@Liberal](#):
>
> But why would Joan Rivers use Britishisms at all? Are we really sure that this is her joke? Maybe if liberties were taken with “ear”, they were taken otherwise. Yes, I know that the calendar or whatever it is would have to clean up dirty jokes, but what it should do is either (1) don’t use the joke at all, or (2) give some indication that it is not a faithful quote of the original. Misquoting or misattributing just doesn’t seem like a reasonable option to me.
I don’t consider “eight months gone” a Briticism. I understood that part of the joke right away, and it didn’t seem at all unusual for me as American usage.
Is it really her joke? I don’t know, but all the other jokes in the calendar I can identify certainly are from the person specified.
Why did they use the joke? That’s the unfathomable question.
Was Rivers ever good as a comedian? I understand why she had to use the type of self-deprecating humor she relied on in the beginning: it was the only possible road to acceptance for a female comic in the early days. She was expert at it, but I never liked that kind of humor and I think she rode it into the ground after a time.
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### Author:  [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)
#### Post date: [March 22, 2006, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joan-rivers-joke/349351/19 "2006-03-22T21:33:28Z")
> [@Exapno Mapcase](#):
>
> Why did they use the joke? That’s the unfathomable question.
Agreed. Possibly it was a punchline in the context of surrounding material. I suppose it’s possible to lift an otherwise funny line from someone and render it sterile by stripping it of the buildup to it. But as you say, standing alone, it was a bizarre choice. She did, after all, have some actually funny jokes.
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### Author:  [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)
#### Post date: [March 22, 2006, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joan-rivers-joke/349351/20 "2006-03-22T21:41:21Z")
I saw her today on an Arby’s commercial for chicken cordon bleu. She looks terrible!
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