# Job Hunting Bullshit **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 16, 2009, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/job-hunting-bullshit/481632 "2009-01-16T18:53:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2009, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/job-hunting-bullshit/481632/41 "2009-01-17T18:16:51Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > Given the zillions of resumes these places get, I’d assume employers do database searches. Forcing you to fill out a webform cuts down on the number of ways you can write hash slinger or whatever. Extracting that from a Word or PDF resume is not that easy. So, I’d give them a pass on that one. Unfortunately, theway they do is grossly time-consuming and ultimately pointless. Sure, it looks good from your end, but from our end, we’re having to get another username and password every time, go through an annoying uploading process, and then write in numerous useless bits of information. Smarter companies actually pull the releveant fields from your uploaded resume and then have you correct them. ---
**Author:** ![bathsheba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9e8a1a/32.png) [@bathsheba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bathsheba)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2009, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/job-hunting-bullshit/481632/42 "2009-01-17T21:39:00Z")
A company here has had an ad in for the last few weeks stating that they want “Mother Teresa and Florence Nightingale”. Even if it weren’t our market, the bar is being set high, huh? So anyway, I was looking for the link to the ad and I found [this](http://www.lifecare.org.au/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=158) and now I want to work there. ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2009, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/job-hunting-bullshit/481632/43 "2009-01-18T02:33:21Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > Way back when I was living in Albuquerque, an ad would appear periodically in the newspaper that said someting like: > > “Needed: five lazy persons to work in office with rock ‘n’ roll atmosphere, and one or two indistrious ones.” > > This was back before computers, e-mail and the Internet. The ad gave a phone number and a post-office-box mailing address. I could never get a response from them, and no one ever answered the phone. The ad would appear every few months. I never could figure out what that was all about. Right! And also something like “If you’re not making at least $XX,XXX a year call this number!!” I got a hold of them and they said something about “selling artwork.” So I think to myself “oh like large orders to hotels and stuff” and set up an interview. Turns out the interview is “you’re hired - ready?” and they pair you up with someone who goes into a warehouse and fills his trunk with a punch of framed posters: “Sucessories,” M.C. Escher, Anne Geddes, that sort of thing and we drove around to business parks where he just walked into offices and tried to sell them to secretaries and workers saying crap like “we just finished some construction in the area and had these left over - I can let them go cheap!” After a couple of hours we stop for lunch at Burger King and he goes “What do you think?” and I say “I think I’ve seen enough.” He gets really mad and says “I’m not supposed to take anyone back early!” so he drops me off like 2 blocks away from the place so he doesn’t get in trouble :rolleyes: and I have to walk to my car. What a scam! ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2009, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/job-hunting-bullshit/481632/44 "2009-01-18T02:44:50Z")
I’m currently looking for a company that wants a CAD drafter with a college degree. BTW, they usually aren’t picky what your major was, which helps me, and they aren’t expecting a Harvard MBA. An associate degree is fine. As I get older I have a nagging feeling each layoff will be my last in my chosen field and I’ll end up a greeter at Walmart. So when I ran a search on, IIRC, HotJobs and the very first job on the list was for a greeter at Walmart I nearly punched my monitor. Yeah, I know Walmart paid to have that come up first on every search that day, but I wasn’t in the mood for it. ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2009, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/job-hunting-bullshit/481632/45 "2009-01-18T03:49:44Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > Way back when I was living in Albuquerque, an ad would appear periodically in the newspaper that said someting like: > > “Needed: five lazy persons to work in office with rock ‘n’ roll atmosphere, and one or two indistrious ones.” > > This was back before computers, e-mail and the Internet. The ad gave a phone number and a post-office-box mailing address. I could never get a response from them, and no one ever answered the phone. The ad would appear every few months. I never could figure out what that was all about. There was a similar ad for an office in Boulder, CO, (I can’t remember now what their business was) who always included “must love the dog” in all their ads. I REALLY wanted to interview just to meet the dog! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2009, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/job-hunting-bullshit/481632/46 "2009-01-18T08:22:21Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > You know, I hadn’t thought of that… I know how to play ragtime, too… > > _::: scurries off to re-examine several listings ::::_ I SO want to come back to this thread in a month and find out that you’re playing ragtime piano in a warehouse. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Roonwit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/54ee81/32.png) [@Roonwit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roonwit)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2009, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/job-hunting-bullshit/481632/47 "2009-01-18T14:48:09Z")
> [@voguevixen](#): > > Right! And also something like “If you’re not making at least $XX,XXX a year call this number!!” I got a hold of them and they said something about “selling artwork.” So I think to myself “oh like large orders to hotels and stuff” and set up an interview. Turns out the interview is “you’re hired - ready?” and they pair you up with someone who goes into a warehouse and fills his trunk with a punch of framed posters: “Sucessories,” M.C. Escher, Anne Geddes, that sort of thing and we drove around to business parks where he just walked into offices and tried to sell them to secretaries and workers saying crap like “we just finished some construction in the area and had these left over - I can let them go cheap!” After a couple of hours we stop for lunch at Burger King and he goes “What do you think?” and I say “I think I’ve seen enough.” He gets really mad and says “I’m not supposed to take anyone back early!” so he drops me off like 2 blocks away from the place so he doesn’t get in trouble :rolleyes: and I have to walk to my car. What a scam! I got caught up in one of those in Birmingham, AL, in the early '80s. They had a running contest to see who could steal the most ‘No Soliciting’ signs from the businesses they targeted. I stuck around about as long as you did. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2009, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/job-hunting-bullshit/481632/48 "2009-01-18T15:09:24Z")
> [@voguevixen](#): > > Right! And also something like “If you’re not making at least $XX,XXX a year call this number!!” I got a hold of them and they said something about “selling artwork.” So I think to myself “oh like large orders to hotels and stuff” and set up an interview. Turns out the interview is “you’re hired - ready?” and they pair you up with someone who goes into a warehouse and fills his trunk with a punch of framed posters: “Sucessories,” M.C. Escher, Anne Geddes, that sort of thing and we drove around to business parks where he just walked into offices and tried to sell them to secretaries and workers saying crap like “we just finished some construction in the area and had these left over - I can let them go cheap!” After a couple of hours we stop for lunch at Burger King and he goes “What do you think?” and I say “I think I’ve seen enough.” He gets really mad and says “I’m not supposed to take anyone back early!” so he drops me off like 2 blocks away from the place so he doesn’t get in trouble :rolleyes: and I have to walk to my car. What a scam! Yeah, I went on one of those “interviews” back in 96 when I was first out of college. So this asshole takes me and this other fat retard of a “trainee” all over Norwalk, CT talking about how much money he makes selling his crappy trinkets to local businesses. I guess he could tell that I thought it was bullshit because after wasting my entire day, he brings me back ans tells me “this probably isn’t for you”. I’m like “thanks asshole, I could have told you that if you just told me what the job was before we left the parking lot.” The fat retard OTOH, seemed pretty happy that he got to ring the bell for his $10 sale. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2009, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/job-hunting-bullshit/481632/49 "2009-01-18T16:49:49Z")
> [@Martini\_Enfield](#): > > In some places, job openings must be advertised externally as well as internally (either because of legislation or corporate policy). > > My experience with “Must have experience in (something you couldn’t be experienced with unless you worked for the company)” positions are that they’re deliberately worded like that so they can promote Lloyd from Accounts, who’s been doing the position as “temporary” relief for the past 18 months anyway. They don’t actually want other applicants for the position- they need to be able to say that the position was advertised, and Lloyd was the only one who applied/met the criteria. > > This is why, when I apply for Government jobs now, I always ask “Is someone currently undertaking this position on a temporary or relief basis, and if not, is there someone in the department who could be considered ‘next in line’ for the position?” If the answer is “No”, then I continue with the application. If the answer is “Yes” or “Well, no-one’s officially next in line, but there is someone who has been with the department for some time who has expressed an interest” then I thank them politely and move on to something else. > > I learnt this the hard way after spending a week putting together a meticulously worded 3,000 word application addressing all kinds of seemingly irrelevant minutiae for a Government Job that I was well suited for, only to get a rejection e-mail the day after the applications closed. I rang them up and politely asked for some tips to improve my future applications, and they said that the position had been given to the person who had been filling in as Acting (Position) for the past 8 months. :smack: IME, the more specific the requirements of the job, the more likely it is that the job is being tailored to fit the qualifications of one person who will end up getting it, and that the job is only being advertised to fulfill some requirement, usually contractual. I don’t bother with these; it’s not worth my time and energy if someone else is going to get it, and it may hurt my chances later if a truly open position becomes available with that company. Robin ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2009, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/job-hunting-bullshit/481632/50 "2009-01-18T17:31:12Z")
I once had an interview that I think qualifies for the Bad Interview Hall of Fame. The interview took place on one of the hottest August days of the year. I get the call and set up a time. I pay $5 to take two buses over an hour to get to the office. I put on my pantyhose, my high heels, my make-up. I get my nice suit dry cleaned and my hair styled. I even bought a new bag. I’m sweating to death but I’m happy because this company sounds cool and I want to work there. I get to the office promptly at 8:30 am. The interviewer smiles and then tells me, “Oh we’ve already hired for the position. We’re just seeing what else is out there.” It took every ounce of self control I had not to wrap my itchy panty hose around her smug neck and keep pulling. They had at least five other people in the waiting room apparently interviewing along with me. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2009, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/job-hunting-bullshit/481632/51 "2009-01-18T17:39:07Z")
> [@LavenderBlue](#): > > It took every ounce of self control I had not to wrap my itchy panty hose around her smug neck and keep pulling. And while you have your pantyhose off, just squat on their desk and take a dump. It’s better than they deserve. ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2009, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/job-hunting-bullshit/481632/52 "2009-01-18T17:57:53Z")
I ave had to look for a job several times in the last 12 years. I followed all the crap written in “WHAT COLOR IS YOURPARACHUTE” for years, and I NEVER got a job through networking. Networking WORKS if you are in a speailized field, and have lots of friends doing the same thing. For me, it was a total waste of time. More importantly, your contasts get tired of all the calls they get. I’m hoping to start a business in the next 24 months-then I can say oodby to the whole mess. Oh, by the way, don’t waste your time with any “job search” firms, they do NOTHING and charge a fortune. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2009, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/job-hunting-bullshit/481632/53 "2009-01-18T18:20:11Z")
> [@ralph124c](#): > > I ave had to look for a job several times in the last 12 years. I followed all the crap written in “WHAT COLOR IS YOURPARACHUTE” for years, and I NEVER got a job through networking. Networking WORKS if you are in a speailized field, and have lots of friends doing the same thing. For me, it was a total waste of time. More importantly, your contasts get tired of all the calls they get. > I’m hoping to start a business in the next 24 months-then I can say oodby to the whole mess. > Oh, by the way, don’t waste your time with any “job search” firms, they do NOTHING and charge a fortune. First of all, networking does work if you do it right. For example, one of the networks I belong to isn’t professionally related. But we’re always looking out for each other and pass along opportunities. You also don’t have to contact all the people in your network weekly or monthly. Just keep in touch with them periodically. Also, I haven’t found any search firms that charge me. They charge the company who has engaged their services. No one should pay for a job. Robin ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2009, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/job-hunting-bullshit/481632/54 "2009-01-18T18:27:59Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > **Training programs masquerading as job openings** - they’ll show up on Monster or CareerBuilder or in classifieds saying things like “Dental Assistant! Great Career Opportunity!” or the like and you have to wade through crap to get to the fine print that tells you this is NOT a job opening but a _training program_ (Sign up for classes now!) Luckily I have a recession proof job so I don’t think I’ll have to go looking anytime soon. The last time I did was a while ago. No internet. I just left the Army and got my Associates in business administration. I knew there wasn’t much call for people who could navigate a helicopter from ten feet off the ground at 100kts, call in artillery fire and hand off targets to attack helicopters. I figured did have experience in management. I supervised 7 people in the army. And I had the degree in BA. I answered many ads which stated “Entry Level Management”. Most of them turned out to be insurance sales jobs. Once you go in they give you the pitch. You can sell insurance and mutual funds and once you build up your client base the money rolls in. The fine print is that you have to put out a bunch of money to get licensed. There is not salary so until you build a client base you get nothing. If you knew me you would know how laughable it is to think of me as a salesman. The only thing that worked for me was temping. I temped at 3 jobs and the third offered me a permenant job. ---
**Author:** ![Freejooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ba8739/32.png) [@Freejooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freejooky)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2009, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/job-hunting-bullshit/481632/55 "2009-01-18T18:46:09Z")
The latest one to make me see red and actually get up from the computer for a breather is “Compensation: Your current salary.” Look, you fuck, I’m looking for a job because I want/need a **better** salary, among other things. I’m underemployed and my current employer pays a good $10K under the industry standard. I’ve seen this pop up a lot more on Craigslist recently. I think people think they can get away with it because of the recession. ---
**Author:** ![UltraVires](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecccb3/32.png) [@UltraVires](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UltraVires)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2009, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/job-hunting-bullshit/481632/56 "2009-01-18T20:11:20Z")
> [@Freejooky](#): > > The latest one to make me see red and actually get up from the computer for a breather is “Compensation: Your current salary.” I don’t understand this. Did you tell them your salary and they offered you that, or was it a generic entry that applied to everyone? I hope Warren Buffett doesn’t apply for their job! > [@Freejooky](#): > > Look, you fuck, I’m looking for a job because I want/need a **better** salary, among other things. Maybe you are, but there are tons of people out there who have been out of work for many months and are ready to take big pay cuts just to get some income rolling back in.. ---
**Author:** ![tumbleddown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@tumbleddown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tumbleddown)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2009, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/job-hunting-bullshit/481632/57 "2009-01-18T21:59:47Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > The only thing that worked for me was temping. I temped at 3 jobs and the third offered me a permenant job. I tried that approach and though I was highly valued as a temp, called back to companies repeatedly when their admins were on maternity leave, off for illnesses and leaves of absence and so on, got passed around one company for 14 weeks in 7 positions as admins took their summer vacations, and even though I was supporting VPs and the heads of divisions and chief counsels and so on, I was repeatedly told that I wasn’t qualified for the positions that I was repeatedly called to pinch hit in because I didn’t have a bachelor’s. I’m still waiting for some college to come out with a bachelor’s in administrative assistanting, because until one does, wanting someone to have a degree to answer phones, type things, file things and make copies, make appointments and travel plans, set up meetings, maintain a calendar and sync a Blackberry is asking for someone (almost always a woman) to waste her education entirely. You don’t need college level biology, literature and history classes to know how to do the most taxing of admin tasks, just strong wrists, sturdy shoes and a lot of patience. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2009, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/job-hunting-bullshit/481632/58 "2009-01-18T22:12:46Z")
> [@tumbleddown](#): > > I tried that approach and though I was highly valued as a temp, called back to companies repeatedly when their admins were on maternity leave, off for illnesses and leaves of absence and so on, got passed around one company for 14 weeks in 7 positions as admins took their summer vacations, and even though I was supporting VPs and the heads of divisions and chief counsels and so on, I was repeatedly told that I wasn’t qualified for the positions that I was repeatedly called to pinch hit in because I didn’t have a bachelor’s. > > I’m still waiting for some college to come out with a bachelor’s in administrative assistanting, because until one does, wanting someone to have a degree to answer phones, type things, file things and make copies, make appointments and travel plans, set up meetings, maintain a calendar and sync a Blackberry is asking for someone (almost always a woman) to waste her education entirely. You don’t need college level biology, literature and history classes to know how to do the most taxing of admin tasks, just strong wrists, sturdy shoes and a lot of patience. I used to know a guy who worked for a temp agency for a _year_, getting passed around from job to job, being told, when he was assigned to the position, that there was a chance he’d get a fulltime job, only near the end of his assignment finding out that they had **no** intention of hiring anyone for the gig. Eventually, the temp agency quit finding him jobs, so he filed for unemployment, it pissed the temp agency off, and he had to fight with them to get it (he did). About the time it ran out, he managed to find a job thanks to a FOAF. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2009, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/job-hunting-bullshit/481632/59 "2009-01-18T22:37:42Z")
> [@Bosstone](#): > > Boy, you never get tired of being antagonistic, do you? Does the working world ever tire of antagonism? Never. > [@](#): > > Yes, it’s totally within their rights to look for a receptionist with a JD. It’s then totally within our rights to think they’re idiots who are shooting themselves in the foot. Some employers _prefer_ to hire people who aren’t very bright. They’re a lot easier to screw over. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2009, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/job-hunting-bullshit/481632/60 "2009-01-18T23:04:47Z")
I feel for you **Broomstick**. I think something that some here need to understand is that often a company _wants_ to whittle down the number of applicants. They _want_ to put barriers in your way because they don’t want to be overloaded with applications. It doesn’t matter that they may miss out on good candidates, provided they still get some good candidates among those who’ve jumped through the hoops. This would particularly be the case in times of economic recession when unemployment is high and it’s an employer’s market. So if you find yourself pulling out when you see you have to do a two hour online test, that’s not the employer shooting themselves in the foot, that’s the employer successfully weeding out someone who, from their point of view, doesn’t want the job enough. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/job-hunting-bullshit/481632.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/job-hunting-bullshit/481632.md?page=4)