# Joe Millionaire play-by-play (it's on right now!) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 7, 2003, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-millionaire-play-by-play-its-on-right-now/147070 "2003-01-07T02:22:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Slacker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@Slacker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slacker)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-millionaire-play-by-play-its-on-right-now/147070/81 "2003-01-14T19:04:58Z")
I know they probably told him to say it, and had him rehearse it over and over, but Evan’s “million bucks” line was great. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Zazie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Zazie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zazie)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-millionaire-play-by-play-its-on-right-now/147070/82 "2003-01-14T19:06:40Z")
And what about the butler? He hated Heidi. He said at the end something like “too bad she isn’t staying, the French could improve”! HA! He is too funny. //And, ummm… I am French… Got a good laugh out of me.// ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-millionaire-play-by-play-its-on-right-now/147070/83 "2003-01-14T19:08:16Z")
bye bye Heidi, may a flight of demons take you to your rest… ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-millionaire-play-by-play-its-on-right-now/147070/84 "2003-01-14T19:30:09Z")
I’ll betcha that half of the rest of the women there were **thinking** “whatever” when he put the necklace on what’s-her-face. Heidi was merely the only one who actually **said** it. Perhaps “bitch” is just another word for “saying what you’re thinking.” 😉 ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-millionaire-play-by-play-its-on-right-now/147070/85 "2003-01-14T20:43:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by gonzoron \* > I can’t believe that "Mojo"s conversation monopoly tactic worked. It seemed like Evan saw through it when he asked the other 3 girls, “so, how’s it going over there?” But I guess not. Or maybe there just weren’t 5 good choices, so he had to fill out the top 5. 😉 Actually, I got the impression that he likes aggressive women. > [@](#): > > The lover of fairy-tales in me hopes for this scenario, though: > Evan picks Zora (or maybe Melissa M.), he comes clean, she is hurt, but recovers quickly, and stays with him anyway. Then FOX reveals that they’re giving him a million dollars and he’ll be a millionare after all. Hmmm…that’s a great idea. It would kind of redeem the producers of the show for being deceitful. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Lance\_Murdoch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/47e85d/32.png) [@Captain\_Lance\_Murdoch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Lance_Murdoch)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-millionaire-play-by-play-its-on-right-now/147070/86 "2003-01-14T21:38:46Z")
\Beadalin\, are we to assume that Melissa is from MN? The most surprising thing thing to me is that she, Zora and Alison actually seem cool. I did not expect to like the women on the show. ---
**Author:** ![sjc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@sjc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sjc)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-millionaire-play-by-play-its-on-right-now/147070/87 "2003-01-15T00:08:02Z")
First of all, does anyone else think that the butler’s accent isn’t particularly posh? He could almost be Australian without the typical rough edges on the accent (if you know what I mean), though I think his accent is more British than colonial. Also I checked out the official website and found this quote: > [@](#): > > **If Evan had approached you in a bar and offered to buy you a drink > would you have accepted?** > Would this be a bar on the show or a bar in real life? Could he afford to be buying people drinks in real life? I suppose I’d chat with him for a bit. which would lead me to believe that she’s aware of the scam. Of course, she could have been interviewed much later for this, but none of the other women give responses that indicate they know. Why does she? ---
**Author:** ![sjc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@sjc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sjc)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-millionaire-play-by-play-its-on-right-now/147070/88 "2003-01-15T00:16:23Z")
Oh, I forgot to mention, this quote is from [Mary](http://www.fox.com/joem/). And I checked his biography on the site (something I didn’t think to do earlier) and found that he was indeed Australian. ---
**Author:** ![jmizzou](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/edb3f5/32.png) [@jmizzou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jmizzou)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-millionaire-play-by-play-its-on-right-now/147070/89 "2003-01-15T00:37:56Z")
Also from [http://www.fox.com/joem/](http://www.fox.com/joem/) interviews: > [@](#): > > _Heidi - the golddigging whore_ > **What drove you to television to look for love?** > Nothing drove me to look for love on television. I was more intrigued by the idea of traveling to Europe than I was by finding love on a TV show! I have to admit that it was beneficial that the guy was put through psychological exams prior to being selected for the show, but I was in it for the experience not for love. > > **If Evan had approached you in a bar and offered to buy you a drink would you have accepted?** > If Evan were to have approached me in a bar my boyfriend would more than likely have solved that wrinkle for me. > > **Do you get upset when you don’t get your way?** > I don’t get upset when I don’t get my way. How insulting. I believe that phase of my life ended when I was two!! ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-millionaire-play-by-play-its-on-right-now/147070/90 "2003-01-15T01:04:21Z")
**Green Bean** and **gonzoron** - I’m convinced he picked Mojo b/c of that damn Cowboy Hat she wore in the first episode. Although it was interesting that none of the other girls from the train made it. Aside from that, my $.02: I’m rooting in the exact opposite way as everyone else seems to be. I like Alison and Zora WAY too much to want them to win. I wanted deperately for Heidi to win it all - if you thought the look on her face was priceless last night, casn you imagine the look on her face after she found out it was all bullshit? I will be in physical pain if a super-nice girl like Zoya murmurs “but, you lied to me!” ---
**Author:** ![MaddyStrut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dbc845/32.png) [@MaddyStrut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaddyStrut)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-millionaire-play-by-play-its-on-right-now/147070/91 "2003-01-15T01:22:28Z")
I only saw the last 1/2 hour, but it was worth it because I got to see the stable mucking! I can’t believe those heels Dayana (sp?) wore! I laughed so hard at that I scared my dogs. And Heidi was priceless as she burst into tears because her horse started grazing. Oh yeah Heidi, “Buttercup” sure looked like a fiery mount as he fell asleep! The “whatever” comment was so totally in character for her. However, like Dooku, I can’t quite get myself to pull for Allison or Zora. I like them too much to have them find out at the end that they’ve been lied to. I hope Mojo (she of the sparkly eye shadow) wins. I’d love to see her reaction! ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-millionaire-play-by-play-its-on-right-now/147070/92 "2003-01-15T02:01:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by rogzilla \* > \*\*I did not expect to like the women on the show. \*\* They did set them all up as being gold-diggers, that’s for sure. Remember how, on the most recent episode, Melissa M. winked when Evan put that sapphire necklace on her? In earlier commercials for _Joe Millionaire_, they used that shot with a “ka-ching!” cash register sound effect that coincided with her wink. ---
**Author:** ![monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monster)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-millionaire-play-by-play-its-on-right-now/147070/93 "2003-01-15T03:01:53Z")
I like Melissa, Zora and Allison. I’m hoping he chooses one, and when he fesses up, she exclaims that it doesn’t matter! [sub]Now who is living in a dream world?[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Ruffian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71e660/32.png) [@Ruffian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruffian)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-millionaire-play-by-play-its-on-right-now/147070/94 "2003-01-15T03:33:33Z")
As a horse-y kinda girl, and never a prissy girl, I _howled_ with devilish glee watching Princess D-girl scrunch up her nose and her FM boots on her half-dead mount. Heidi freaking out because the horse wanted to graze–ohmigawd I about died. Oooh, scary! Horse put his head down to eat! Oh _NO!_ WhatEVER could you do?! Prissy, princessy girls shoveling coal, manure, and picking grapes. God, this is great TV. BTW…one of my coworkers is friends with…oh, crap whatshername…the Asian woman, the physician, who was culled last night. She actually seemed pretty cool, as do about half these women I think. Anywho, said woman is having weekly parties to watch the show. Even UberBitch Heidi attended. And yes, according to People Who Really Know Her, she’s a [South Park]King Kong Mega Mega Bitch[/South Park]. She had to sign a contract threatening litigation should she say anything, so dangit…we can’t get anything out of her. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-millionaire-play-by-play-its-on-right-now/147070/95 "2003-01-15T08:29:18Z")
I predict that Evan is NOT as broke as we’re being relentlessly told. They are going to pull a double switcheroo. First tell the girl that he’s broke, see how she takes it, then tell us all that he really did score something. Because his act is just too much. ---
**Author:** ![AchimbaProphet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2bfe46/32.png) [@AchimbaProphet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AchimbaProphet)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 8:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-millionaire-play-by-play-its-on-right-now/147070/96 "2003-01-15T08:39:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by malaka \* > \*\*First of all, I think the whole show is bogus. Jerry Springer is fake, why can’t this be? \*\* I agree. I am very cynical now and I believe that anything labeled as ‘reality TV’ is automatically scripted. It is entertaining and this comes as a great shock to me. We all love a good train wreck I guess. What would have made this show better would have been to break the news to the individual women who were departing so we could see their ‘reaction’. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-millionaire-play-by-play-its-on-right-now/147070/97 "2003-01-15T14:48:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ruffian \* > **Even UberBitch Heidi attended. And yes, according to People Who Really Know Her, she’s a [South Park]King Kong Mega Mega Bitch[/South Park].** I believe the line you’re looking for is “King Kamehameha Bitch.” (Of course, when Cartman sings it, it sure does **sound** like “King Kong mega-mega-bitch,” doesn’t it?) ---
**Author:** ![B\_Williams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@B\_Williams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/B_Williams)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-millionaire-play-by-play-its-on-right-now/147070/98 "2003-01-15T15:33:52Z")
WAY TO GO HEIDI~~~ Go OFF the show that is…The fact that she owned up to having a current relationship should have dis quailfied her in the first place,The very idea of this greedy witch grabbing 2 dresses and leaving the one girl with a piece of crap that didn’t even fit!!! ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-millionaire-play-by-play-its-on-right-now/147070/99 "2003-01-15T22:13:55Z")
The problem I had with the show from the beginning is that they TOTALLY effing copped out. Had they picked, say, Paul Hogan the Butler as the Millionaire, **then** they really would have had something. Did he have to be a freakin’ swuimsuit model? It’s like they baited us into thinking we’ll see gold diggers get their comeuppance, but instead he’s a nice guy and they might really fall for him regardless. I’m less of the opinion he really has money, simply b/c he modelled for that men’s thong underwear magazine. Even if he were into that sort of thing, he would have been able to use his clout to get into a better publication. ---
**Author:** ![DKW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dkw/32/3118_2.png) [@DKW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DKW)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-millionaire-play-by-play-its-on-right-now/147070/100 "2003-01-15T22:32:06Z")
Okay…I had my reservations about Fox’s latest spectacle at first, but after The Amazing Race became such a huge letdown so quickly (Flo winning, I don’t mind. Flo winning due to sheer dumb luck and a Detour infraction that wasn’t called, I mind.), well, need something to fill my TV quota for the week. So the big lie it is. Missed the first ep, but will catch it on the repeat this Thursday (set your VCRs now!). Thoughts thus far: - I agree that Evan wasn’t the best choice, but not for the reasons I’ve seen so far. His big problem, IMHO, is that he’s actually taking this seriously…i.e., he really thinks he’s going to start a great relationship with a woman who wasn’t in it just for the money. This is a _huge_ no-no. Aside from the fact that it’s jumping the gun big time (you don’t even know how she’s going to react to the lie, for crying out loud), history has shown that strong relationships are neither begun nor benefitted by television. The proper menality is to play along, go with the flow, enjoy the wonderful vacation and the company with a host of women who wouldn’t given a time of day otherwise (although with the likes of Heidi, definitely a mixed blessing), and when it’s over, take what you get and get on with your life. The fact that he already has a clear idea of what he’s getting out of this is troubling…_he_ might end up more unhappy than anyone else at the end. - Paul Hogan was a great choice for the butler, and, if anything, seems to be having a lot more fun with this than some of the “contestants”. The parting blasts at the second-round cuttees was priceless. - There should be more footage of the interactions between the ladies, if only to help solve the eternal mystery of whether women really do instinctively hate each other. Finally, yes, it’s bogus, but I think that’s beside the point. In wrestling, the important distinction isn’t whether it’s real or not, because it’s never real, but whether the action you’re seeing is a “work” or a “shoot”. In a work, every step is scripted from start to finish; in a shoot, while there’s a general idea of how the match should end, how the guys in the ring actually get there is up to them. From what I’ve seen, it’s still solidly within the “shoot” category. About the only thing I could see worked was the first cut, but that was promptly taken care of in the second, so I don’t have a beef. There can be only one! 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-millionaire-play-by-play-its-on-right-now/147070.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-millionaire-play-by-play-its-on-right-now/147070.md?page=6)