# Joe Millionare, you are a fucking tool. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 7, 2003, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-millionare-you-are-a-fucking-tool/147090 "2003-01-07T03:39:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2003, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-millionare-you-are-a-fucking-tool/147090/21 "2003-01-07T22:57:27Z")
Red wine with salmon is something I’d do. Not because I think those are supposed to ‘match’, but because I don’t give a fuck about matching wine to food. I detest white wine, therefore I drink only red, regardless of what I’m having it with. Perhaps Doofy Pseudo-Richboy hates white wine? ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2003, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-millionare-you-are-a-fucking-tool/147090/22 "2003-01-08T01:14:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Diogenes the Cynic \* > \*\*What’s the _non_-skanky reason to do it? \*\* I’m going to get fired if I keep laughing like that in the office. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2003, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-millionare-you-are-a-fucking-tool/147090/23 "2003-01-08T02:35:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SwimmingRiddles \* > \*\*Holy mother of Smoking Gun. Seriously, look at the picture on page two. \*\* I can’t find this “page two” that people are talking about. I went to the california muscle website and I did find the one pic that they had at the smoking gun… but that is all. Can someone post or send me a link? ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2003, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-millionare-you-are-a-fucking-tool/147090/24 "2003-01-08T04:41:47Z")
Opal there is a link at the bottom of page one beneath the big picture that says 1\>2\>3 IIRC ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2003, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-millionare-you-are-a-fucking-tool/147090/25 "2003-01-08T13:41:25Z")
Doh! I thought it was page two _on the california muscle site_ I was trying too hard, apparently. ---
**Author:** ![Nutty\_Bunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d07c76/32.png) [@Nutty\_Bunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nutty_Bunny)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2003, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-millionare-you-are-a-fucking-tool/147090/26 "2003-01-08T16:13:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Neurotik \* > \*\*Some of the girls were very nice. The one with the dark, curly hair seemed really nice and honest. So did the one who ended up in the blue gown. I was glad they both got picked to stay. > \*\* Okay, here’s what I don’t get…and I’ve seen this on several occasions (like everyone on the TV w/o Pity board). Why are people rooting for the women they like?!? :smack: It boggles my mind! I want the bitchiest, most rotten one to win–I’m looking at you, Heidi. If we believe what Fox is saying and he is poor, then I want to see how Heidi will react to the lie. Go Heidi, [sub](you bitch)[/sub]. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2003, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-millionare-you-are-a-fucking-tool/147090/27 "2003-01-08T16:46:34Z")
Isn’t the whole “white wine with fish” thing outdated? I thought serious oenophiles didn’t follow that rule anymore. There is so much variation within “white” and “red” anyway. I mean, if I wanted a light dry white with my salmon, and I didn’t have any Pinot Grigio, I’d rather substitute a dry Merlot than a Chardonnay. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2003, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-millionare-you-are-a-fucking-tool/147090/28 "2003-01-08T16:49:12Z")
How about when that floozy waltzed into the ballroom wearing sunglasses? Ha, it’s like she’d just exited a pod on the set of The Fly. ---
**Author:** ![kingpengvin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9dc877/32.png) [@kingpengvin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kingpengvin)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2003, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-millionare-you-are-a-fucking-tool/147090/29 "2003-01-08T16:54:47Z")
The Ball was hilarious. When he was lumbering around the floor like some sort of retarded Lurch/Herman Munster (Or perhaps he was doing a bad impression of the tin woodsman after a downour) and they cut to the women talking about how suave and graceful he danced I nearly peed myself. They are Either A) Blinded by the money and not able to see his obvious (Duh me smash face on sadle) Flaws B) Terible liars or c) Never been with any man who could dance properly. ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2003, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-millionare-you-are-a-fucking-tool/147090/30 "2003-01-08T19:46:14Z")
Coupl’a things: I heard this morning that the words is once he gets it whittled down to two girls, he’s going to tell them that he’s really just a working stiff making however little they claim he was making and then Fox is going to leave the cameras trained on the chicks for a few-ten minutes to catch their reaction. Later, I guess, either FOX or he will reveal that he’s actually loaded, and we’ll see how all that goes. Either way, though, the girls have a way out, IMO. Sure, they’ll still look like gold-diggers, but they look that way now for just being on the show, _but_ they should be able to get out, at the end if he turns out to be poor, by just pointing to the fact that he lied to them right off the bat. “Relationships,” however they might be formed, can’t be maintained with lies and with him starting off that way, well, bu-bye. I also heard, from a few places on the radio this morning, that the dude, while a dumb-ass, has been an underwear model for a few-seven years. It seemed, also, that one of the girls noticed his hands seemed awfully smooth to be a construction workers. I didn’t watch it, but I can’t help think of Zoolander. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Cheatem\_Undhow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/13edae/32.png) [@Dewey\_Cheatem\_Undhow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Cheatem_Undhow)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2003, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-millionare-you-are-a-fucking-tool/147090/31 "2003-01-08T19:57:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Green Bean \* > \*\*Isn’t the whole “white wine with fish” thing outdated? I thought serious oenophiles didn’t follow that rule anymore. There is so much variation within “white” and “red” anyway. I mean, if I wanted a light dry white with my salmon, and I didn’t have any Pinot Grigio, I’d rather substitute a dry Merlot than a Chardonnay. \*\* This was the only part of the program I saw (not because I’m pretentious, but because I tend to channel surf a lot), and that was my reaction, too. WTF? A light red would go just fine with salmon, and I think most genuine wine experts would agree. I can only guess that they’re banking most of their target audience aren’t into wine, but have heard the “fish=white, meat=red” rule of thumb, and so will be able to feel superior to Mr. Joe for his supposed error. ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2003, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-millionare-you-are-a-fucking-tool/147090/32 "2003-01-08T23:21:33Z")
I just found the fact that he couldn’t figure out that salmon was fish more amusing than anything else having to do with the wine. And as for the hands, a good manicure could do a world of difference in making hands soft. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2003, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-millionare-you-are-a-fucking-tool/147090/33 "2003-01-08T23:35:07Z")
One of 'em, Heidi IIRC looks almost exactly like one of Charlies Angels. Kinda trippin me out. ---
**Author:** ![Muad\_Dib](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/35a633/32.png) [@Muad\_Dib](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muad_Dib)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2003, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-millionare-you-are-a-fucking-tool/147090/34 "2003-01-08T23:42:01Z")
I have a strong suspicion that FOX is going to end this by surprising everyone and actually giving the guy $50 million. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2003, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-millionare-you-are-a-fucking-tool/147090/35 "2003-01-08T23:51:53Z")
SwimmingRiddles: He knew that salmon was fish, he just said that he thought red would be better. He said “I _know_ it’s fish, but…” ---
**Author:** ![presidebt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c37758/32.png) [@presidebt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/presidebt)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2003, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-millionare-you-are-a-fucking-tool/147090/36 "2003-01-09T00:14:08Z")
Somebody help me out. I don’t watch any “reality tv” so I’m confused about how it works. I saw where someone said something like “they were planning on telling the girls when they got down to two.” My question is, isn’t this whole show already taped? Otherwise, I don’t see how they could prevent these women from finding out that the guy isn’t rich. It is _all over the news- in tv, print and radio._ ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2003, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-millionare-you-are-a-fucking-tool/147090/37 "2003-01-09T00:28:05Z")
I know why they hired the doofus. It’s pretty simple really. Imagine, if _you_ were suddenly given all the toys to play with that someone with $50 mil. can reasonably be expected to own: Awe-inspiring library, multiple top-of-the-line computers that won’t be obsolete in another week, high-speed internet connection, and high performance automobiles. Yeah, you’d wanna play with the toys, and not the girls. The doofus, on the other hand, will be more interested in the girls and not the toys, because if he plays with the toys, he’ll look like a total moron and embarass himself when it’s revealed that he doesn’t understand the manual transmission in the Porsche. Me, personally, I’d tell the women, “Whomever nails me first wins, and now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go play with my toys.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![NightRabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bbce88/32.png) [@NightRabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NightRabbit)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2003, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-millionare-you-are-a-fucking-tool/147090/38 "2003-01-09T02:46:34Z")
**presidebt** , usually they shoot these reality shows way ahead of time (like, this was shot months ago) and make everyone sign confidentiality agreements stipulating that nothing about the show will get out before every episode has been aired. At least, that’s how they did it with Survivor and Real World. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2003, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-millionare-you-are-a-fucking-tool/147090/39 "2003-01-09T05:08:38Z")
Speaking of nailing… how many do you think he will have sex with? ---
**Author:** ![Kang\_and\_Kodos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8baadc/32.png) [@Kang\_and\_Kodos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kang_and_Kodos)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2003, 9:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-millionare-you-are-a-fucking-tool/147090/40 "2003-01-09T09:16:43Z")
…And all you dickheads watched it. Here’s a clue, fucktards. If no one watches reality TV, it will go away. What a foreign concept, huh? You people are what’s wrong with America. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-millionare-you-are-a-fucking-tool/147090.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-millionare-you-are-a-fucking-tool/147090.md?page=3)