# Joe Rehyansky should eat crap and live to taste it! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 28, 2010, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-rehyansky-should-eat-crap-and-live-to-taste-it/562171 "2010-11-28T16:24:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2010, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-rehyansky-should-eat-crap-and-live-to-taste-it/562171/1 "2010-11-28T16:24:23Z")
Magistrate Joe Rehyansky has an incredibly evil and sick delusion: That lesbians can be cured by straight sex. And in pursuit of ‘fixing’ lesbians, he thinks they should enlist in the Army, where red-blooded straight soldiers can [heroically set about that arduous task](http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2010/11/26/us-judge-says-lesbians-can-be-cured-by-male-soldiers/). > [@](#): > > “it fell to men to swing through the trees and scour the caves in search of as many women as possible to subdue and impregnate – a tough job but someone had to do it” Really, now. What a _startling_ revelation on early human sexuality. I’m sure many men would have rather stayed in their cave, scratching where it itches, but no - gotta go out to the sex mines, and slave away for the good of the species. A dog’s life, I’m sure. > [@](#): > > “My solution would get the distaff part of our homosexual population off our collective ‘Broke Back,’ thus giving straight male GIs a fair shot at converting lesbians and bringing them into the mainstream.” Words fail me. No, wait - They don’t: Joe, I humbly wish that you should eat a steaming pile of crap, and live to taste it. Furthermore, when you eventually die after a long and exiting life of shit-eating, I do humbly appeal to the Universe that you should find yourself in hell, smoking a dog turd. Forever. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2010, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-rehyansky-should-eat-crap-and-live-to-taste-it/562171/2 "2010-11-28T16:30:35Z")
Is he OK with white lesbians being raped by Black soldiers, just to show how broad-minded he really is? ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2010, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-rehyansky-should-eat-crap-and-live-to-taste-it/562171/3 "2010-11-28T16:35:00Z")
Only if it’s curative. Anything for the cure. ---
**Author:** ![ricksummon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ricksummon/32/3333_2.png) [@ricksummon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ricksummon)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2010, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-rehyansky-should-eat-crap-and-live-to-taste-it/562171/4 "2010-11-28T16:37:44Z")
> [@Tranquilis](#): > > Joe, I humbly wish that you should eat a steaming pile of crap, and live to taste it. Well, Tom Six _is_ making a sequel to the Human Centipede… ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2010, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-rehyansky-should-eat-crap-and-live-to-taste-it/562171/5 "2010-11-28T16:38:13Z")
I think not being a cacti-phile is an abomination unto all that is decent. Therefore Joe Rehyanskywe needs repeated corrective anal rape using [this cactus](http://www.desert-tropicals.com/Plants/Cactaceae/Opuntia_phaeacantha.jpg) soaked in lemon juice until he gets the message. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2010, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-rehyansky-should-eat-crap-and-live-to-taste-it/562171/6 "2010-11-28T17:18:41Z")
> [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](#): > > I think not being a cacti-phile is an abomination unto all that is decent. > Therefore Joe Rehyanskywe needs repeated corrective anal rape using [this cactus](http://www.desert-tropicals.com/Plants/Cactaceae/Opuntia_phaeacantha.jpg) soaked in lemon juice until he gets the message. I thought certainly you’d be linking to [this](http://www.flickr.com/photos/42861346@N00/112506627/) ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2010, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-rehyansky-should-eat-crap-and-live-to-taste-it/562171/7 "2010-11-28T17:33:23Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > I thought certainly you’d be linking to [this](http://www.flickr.com/photos/42861346@N00/112506627/) :: _laughs_ :: OK, I think we’ve just found Joe Rehyansky’s new best friend. The kind of friend who _always_ has your back… _side_. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2010, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-rehyansky-should-eat-crap-and-live-to-taste-it/562171/8 "2010-11-28T17:51:23Z")
> [@Tranquilis](#): > > … - gotta go out to the sex mines, and slave away for the good of the species. … > > Forever. Help me out here. MapQuest does not hit when I search for it. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2010, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-rehyansky-should-eat-crap-and-live-to-taste-it/562171/9 "2010-11-28T21:52:51Z")
> [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](#): > > I think not being a cacti-phile is an abomination unto all that is decent. > Therefore Joe Rehyanskywe needs repeated corrective anal rape using [this cactus](http://www.desert-tropicals.com/Plants/Cactaceae/Opuntia_phaeacantha.jpg) soaked in lemon juice until he gets the message. And salt. Don’t forget the salt. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2010, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-rehyansky-should-eat-crap-and-live-to-taste-it/562171/10 "2010-11-28T22:19:59Z")
> [@](#): > > He continued: “Shouldn’t the overwhelmingly straight warriors who answer their county’s call be spared the indignity of showering with other men who achieve lascivious enjoyment from the sight of those lithe naked bodies, and who may be tempted to seek more than the view?” My, my, what imagery. Just screams “yet another repressed homosexual right winger”. And I’m not surprised, the idea that you can “cure” lesbians by “corrective rape” has been [around all over](http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/mar/12/eudy-simelane-corrective-rape-south-africa) for a long time. ---
**Author:** ![DoctorJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctorj/32/2904_2.png) [@DoctorJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoctorJ)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2010, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-rehyansky-should-eat-crap-and-live-to-taste-it/562171/11 "2010-11-28T22:30:45Z")
Oh, come on now, I’m sure it could happen. Just imagine it: two young hot lesbian privates are getting it on in the barracks when a strapping young GI stumbles in and catches them in the act. They let him watch for a few minutes and then give each other a smile as they realize that TODAY is the day they’re going to try out some cock for the first time. With a sexy glance they beckon him over to the bunk. I mean, I feel like I’ve already seen it happen. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2010, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-rehyansky-should-eat-crap-and-live-to-taste-it/562171/12 "2010-11-29T00:38:11Z")
> [@Tranquilis](#): > > Magistrate Joe Rehyansky has an incredibly evil and sick delusion: That lesbians can be cured by straight sex. That’s not a sick delusion, that’s a porn genre. Gotta be. ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2010, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-rehyansky-should-eat-crap-and-live-to-taste-it/562171/13 "2010-11-29T02:09:41Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > Help me out here. MapQuest does not hit when I search for it. Sorry. Only Rehyansky knows where they are. But if you sign up to his newsletter, I’m sure he’ll be happy to send you a map. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2010, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-rehyansky-should-eat-crap-and-live-to-taste-it/562171/14 "2010-11-29T02:34:10Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > Help me out here. MapQuest does not hit when I search for it. It’s all jail bait anyway, full of miners. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2010, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-rehyansky-should-eat-crap-and-live-to-taste-it/562171/15 "2010-11-29T02:53:56Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > That’s not a sick delusion, that’s a porn genre. Gotta be. Lesbian army chicks is too. And barracks orgies. ---
**Author:** ![Merneith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Merneith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merneith)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2010, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-rehyansky-should-eat-crap-and-live-to-taste-it/562171/16 "2010-11-29T11:56:34Z")
> [@Tranquilis](#): > > Magistrate Joe Rehyansky has an incredibly evil and sick delusion: That lesbians can be cured by straight sex. FWIW, this bozo is an ex-magistrate. He was fired last April for commenting on a female inmate’s cleavage and then giving her his card and telling her to call him. He claims he was just ‘advising’ her but the Chief Magistrate informed him that he would no longer be needing his services. [http://www.chattanoogan.com/articles/article\_172480.asp](http://www.chattanoogan.com/articles/article_172480.asp) Also, he clearly doesn’t understand the phrase “An Immodest Proposal”. So, prime Tucker-Carlson-quality talent, really. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2010, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-rehyansky-should-eat-crap-and-live-to-taste-it/562171/17 "2010-11-29T15:26:35Z")
What makes this all the more surprising is that this gentleman is a citizen of the great progressive State of Tennessee, and a veteran of the US Army, a nexus of tolerance if ever there was one. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2010, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-rehyansky-should-eat-crap-and-live-to-taste-it/562171/18 "2010-11-29T15:31:43Z")
How could you eat crap and not live to taste it? ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2010, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-rehyansky-should-eat-crap-and-live-to-taste-it/562171/19 "2010-11-29T15:32:51Z")
ah, never mind ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2010, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-rehyansky-should-eat-crap-and-live-to-taste-it/562171/20 "2010-11-29T15:38:12Z")
Merdivory isn’t typically fatal, is it? I’d ask experts to weigh in, but then a lack of response would be inconclusive… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joe-rehyansky-should-eat-crap-and-live-to-taste-it/562171.md?page=2)