# John Ashcroft Resigns. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 9, 2004, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918 "2004-11-09T23:14:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/1 "2004-11-09T23:14:13Z")
[here](http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=542&ncid=716&e=3&u=/ap/20041109/ap_on_go_ca_st_pe/bush_cabinet) ---
**Author:** ![Metacom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecae2f/32.png) [@Metacom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Metacom)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/2 "2004-11-09T23:20:28Z")
Does his mean that the toga comes off the statue? And that there won’t be a crackdown on porn? Let’s all hope that his successor isn’t an even nuttier fruitcake. ---
**Author:** ![Metacom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecae2f/32.png) [@Metacom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Metacom)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/3 "2004-11-09T23:24:05Z")
Heh–I just noticed this, so forgive the double post. But… Look closely at the AP photo accompanying the article. Gee, I wonder why they picked that particular 3 year old photo… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![caphis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19adc/32.png) [@caphis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/caphis)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/4 "2004-11-09T23:30:03Z")
Thank god. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/5 "2004-11-09T23:36:25Z")
I just love this quote from his resignation letter: > [@](#): > > The objective of securing the safety of Americans from crime and terror has been achieved. So when does the alert level go back down? ---
**Author:** ![Biotop](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biotop/32/321_2.png) [@Biotop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biotop)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/6 "2004-11-09T23:37:52Z")
Ashcroft resigns, eh. Whatever he’s got, I hope it’s contagious. ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/7 "2004-11-09T23:45:09Z")
Worst AG of my lifetime (so far). I’m just worried that his replacement might be somebody with a more pleasant facade, but who’s just as much of a fascist prick underneath. ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/8 "2004-11-09T23:47:34Z")
> [@Baldwin](#): > > Worst AG of my lifetime (so far). I’m just worried that his replacement might be somebody with a more pleasant facade, but who’s just as much of a fascist prick underneath. I’ve thought about that, but do you honestly think that we could find someone worse? ---
**Author:** ![ZebraShaSha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/eada6e/32.png) [@ZebraShaSha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZebraShaSha)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/9 "2004-11-09T23:52:33Z")
[hijak] What will you miss the most? [/hijak] ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/10 "2004-11-09T23:53:07Z")
> [@Baldwin](#): > > Worst AG of my lifetime (so far). I’m just worried that his replacement might be somebody with a more pleasant facade, but who’s just as much of a fascist prick underneath. I’ve gotta call it a tossup. John Mitchell was pretty bad. ---
**Author:** ![Squink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@Squink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squink)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/11 "2004-11-09T23:53:32Z")
> [@Harborwolf](#): > > I’ve thought about that, but do you honestly think that we could find someone worse? I’m sure that Jack Chick would love to serve his country. The Reverend Moon has long had an interest in conservative politics, and with his recent crowning as the savior of mankind, might be just the entity to take over from John. ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/12 "2004-11-09T23:55:02Z")
> [@Harborwolf](#): > > I’ve thought about that, but do you honestly think that we could find someone worse? [Anything is possible](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=5454151#post5454151). ---
**Author:** ![Malodorous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e47774/32.png) [@Malodorous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malodorous)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/13 "2004-11-09T23:59:48Z")
Actually, I heard they were just going to replace him with a dead guy. Mel Carnahan maybe. ---
**Author:** ![JonScribe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/3be4f8/32.png) [@JonScribe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JonScribe)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/14 "2004-11-10T00:03:33Z")
That’s the good news. The bad news is that Bush is going to nominate him to the Supreme Court. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/15 "2004-11-10T00:10:05Z")
Or Grand Inquisitor. ---
**Author:** ![Agent\_Cooper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@Agent\_Cooper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Cooper)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/16 "2004-11-10T00:11:25Z")
> [@Boyo Jim](#): > > I just love this quote from his resignation letter: > > So when does the alert level go back down? Holy Shit that is classic! He is of course refering to the sound defeat of the terr… erm … I mean the _Democrats_ last week… ---
**Author:** ![Agent\_Cooper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@Agent\_Cooper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Cooper)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/17 "2004-11-10T00:26:00Z")
I am still getting the hang of this board and all its fancy quotes within quotes… Ashcroft’s quote being: “The objective of securing the safety of Americans from crime and terror has been achieved.” Did they get to re-use the “Mission Accomplished!” banner? I don’t normally care for signature quotes but I am tempted… ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/18 "2004-11-10T00:33:32Z")
> [@JonScribe](#): > > That’s the good news. > > The bad news is that Bush is going to nominate him to the Supreme Court. I doubt that, largely because I suspect that the reason that Ashcroft’s resigning is that he’s either 1) dying, or 2) in otherwise poor health. ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/19 "2004-11-10T00:34:23Z")
> [@Agent Cooper](#): > > Did they get to re-use the “Mission Accomplished!” banner? Yeah, and Ashcroft got to re-use the flight suit and crotch padding That’s right. Don’t fight the mental picture. Give in to the horror ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/20 "2004-11-10T00:47:29Z")
Damn! I was all set to unleash my army of calico cats on Washington DC, too. Now what the hell am I going to do with a 1,000 calico cats? PS The rumor’s have been flying around DC that Ashcroft is in ill health and wants nothing to do with a Supreme Court nomination. However, I’d be willing to bet that Ashcroft would be more than happy to sell whatever withered scraps of a soul he has left to Satan to be healthy enough to serve on the court. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918.md?page=2)