# John Ashcroft Resigns. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 9, 2004, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918 "2004-11-09T23:14:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Agrippina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8797f3/32.png) [@Agrippina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agrippina)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/21 "2004-11-10T00:48:19Z")
> [@JonScribe](#): > > That’s the good news. > > The bad news is that Bush is going to nominate him to the Supreme Court. I’ve heard this rumor too. I hope it never comes true. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/22 "2004-11-10T00:57:34Z")
(sings) Ding-dong the witch is dead… (stops singing, grabs a celebratory beer) Easily the worst AG I’ve ever lived through, and that includes Janet Reno **and** John Mitchell! ---
**Author:** ![New\_Iskander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/db5fbb/32.png) [@New\_Iskander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/New_Iskander)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/23 "2004-11-10T01:01:39Z")
> [@Harborwolf](#): > > I’ve thought about that, but do you honestly think that we could find someone worse? Janet Reno is still available. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/24 "2004-11-10T01:03:02Z")
I’m not celebrating yet – with this Administration, this is merely the pregnant pause before the other shoe drops… and the avalanche starts. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/25 "2004-11-10T01:08:17Z")
Allright. Now that Old Softy’s out, no more Mr. Nice Guy. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/26 "2004-11-10T01:10:57Z")
> [@](#): > > Boyo Jim > > I just love this quote from his resignation letter: > > > [@](#): > > > > Quote: > > The objective of securing the safety of Americans from crime and terror has been achieved. > > So when does the alert level go back down? Does this mean we can repeal the Patriot Act and stop gutting workers rights and union contracts now? After all, it was done because of greed I mean terror threats. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/27 "2004-11-10T01:20:01Z")
Fuck John Ashcroft. ---
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/28 "2004-11-10T01:23:20Z")
> [@vibrotronica](#): > > Fuck John Ashcroft. No, thank you. I have standards. Really, really low standards, but standards all the same. Ava ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/29 "2004-11-10T02:05:16Z")
In honor of this celebration, allow me to repost my Gilbert and Sullivan pastiche from [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=284802), which died rapidly after I posted it there: I am the very model of a Pubby Attorney General; I’ll sell off all your resources, animal, vegetable, or mineral; I rewrite the Constitution, to remove the rights historical From speedy trials to no free speech, in order categorical I run the halls of Justice, and cover up the news, Not only is she blindfolded, but I’ve covered up her boobs! ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/30 "2004-11-10T02:28:35Z")
> [@avabeth](#): > > Really, really low standards, but standards all the same. > > Ava So, **Ava** , how you doin’? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/31 "2004-11-10T02:35:56Z")
> [@Malodorous](#): > > Actually, I heard they were just going to replace him with a dead guy. Mel Carnahan maybe. Heh. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/32 "2004-11-10T02:41:32Z")
Buh Bye, Ashy! Don’t let the doorknob hit you in the ass. The question now is can Bush find someone even more unpopular than a guy who once lost an election to a rotting corpse. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/33 "2004-11-10T02:44:47Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > Buh Bye, Ashy! Don’t let the doorknob hit you in the ass. > > The question now is can Bush find someone even more unpopular than a guy who once lost an election to a rotting corpse. please don’t challenge worse. I"ve come to believe that George is a classic over achieving under achiever. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/34 "2004-11-10T02:45:56Z")
> [@Harborwolf](#): > > I’ve thought about that, but do you honestly think that we could find someone worse? **Never** ask that question. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/35 "2004-11-10T02:51:27Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > Buh Bye, Ashy! Don’t let the doorknob hit you in the ass. > > The question now is can Bush find someone even more unpopular than a guy who once lost an election to a rotting corpse. Be fair, **Diogenes** – Carnahan wasn’t rotting yet, just dead. I suppose they preferred someone with all-over rigor mortis to one where it had only affected the brain! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/36 "2004-11-10T02:54:44Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > a guy who once lost an election to a rotting corpse. I think that’s rather inappropriate and even insulting, Diogenes. Most corpses in the United States are embalmed. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Talon\_Karrde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Talon\_Karrde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Talon_Karrde)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/37 "2004-11-10T03:01:32Z")
I’m disappointed. I was hoping he’d resigned because of some kind of sex scandal. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/38 "2004-11-10T03:02:29Z")
Hell, Ashcroft is rotting and he isn’t even dead yet. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/39 "2004-11-10T03:13:52Z")
Ashcroft resigned? Oh, Jesus! They’re purging the moderates! ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/40 "2004-11-10T03:20:55Z")
Geez, people, get a freaking grip! Have you actually LOOKED at this Cabinet? Without John Ashcroft, this is the Ford Administration (in a few cases, LITERALLY!). As of the moment he resigned, the religious Right has NOBODY in the Bush Cabinet. The Ripon Society now runs Washington again. Not that it really matters- John Ashcroft didn’t do ANY of the awful things his enemies were sure he’d do, but Lefties STILL work themselves into apoplexy over the alleged fascist state he created. (Forgive me, but I’ve looked around for signs of fascism, and they just don’t exist!). At this point, Bush could nominate Lincoln Chafee to replace Ashcroft, and we’d still see rjung and elucidator screaming in terror! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918.md?page=3)