# John Ashcroft Resigns. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 9, 2004, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918 "2004-11-09T23:14:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/41 "2004-11-10T03:27:51Z")
I’d like to inject a positive statement about our, uh, is this an “effective date” reignation in advance, or is he gone today? Is he our former or our soon-to-be former AG? …anyway, John Ashcroft may be the finest _singing_ Attorney General ever. I believe we will see him next on _American Idol._ ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/42 "2004-11-10T03:36:24Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > Geez, people, get a freaking grip! Have you actually LOOKED at this Cabinet? Without John Ashcroft, this is the Ford Administration (in a few cases, LITERALLY!). > > As of the moment he resigned, the religious Right has NOBODY in the Bush Cabinet. The Ripon Society now runs Washington again. > > Not that it really matters- John Ashcroft didn’t do ANY of the awful things his enemies were sure he’d do, but Lefties STILL work themselves into apoplexy over the alleged fascist state he created. (Forgive me, but I’ve looked around for signs of fascism, and they just don’t exist!). At this point, Bush could nominate Lincoln Chafee to replace Ashcroft, and we’d still see rjung and elucidator screaming in terror! Of course he did. Leaving aside the HUGE issues of the Patriot Acts, worthy of threads of their own, His office provided bogus legal cover to many acts the Bush administration has taken in contravention of international law. There were a whole series of legal opinions memo leaked that the White House had to disown almost the moment they became public knowledge. They understood completely that the legal reasoning behind them would not stand serious public scrutiny. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/43 "2004-11-10T03:43:13Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > … we’d still see rjung and elucidator screaming in terror! You know, thinking back on it, I don’t think I ever had much to say about John-Boy, save that I thought him kind of a buffoon. Could you have me confused with some other devilishly handsome polymath with a rapier like wit? Rather a pity, that, to flatter someone who’ll never know… ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/44 "2004-11-10T03:45:28Z")
> [@](#): > > The bad news is that Bush is going to nominate him to the Supreme Court. Don’t even joke about that. I’m afraid if someone says it three times it will come true. [sub]_Candyman! Candyman! Candyman!_[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![moriah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b2d939/32.png) [@moriah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moriah)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/45 "2004-11-10T03:47:25Z")
I’m sure Bush will reach across the aisle and unite America with a Democratic AG… Zel Miller. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/46 "2004-11-10T03:54:06Z")
No. Rabies is fatal. ---
**Author:** ![Talon\_Karrde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Talon\_Karrde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Talon_Karrde)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/47 "2004-11-10T03:54:34Z")
> [@Jodi](#): > > Don’t even joke about that. I’m afraid if someone says it three times it will come true. [sub]_Candyman! Candyman! Candyman!_[/sub] Here’s time number two: Bush is going to nominate John Ashcroft to the Supreme Court (FTR, I don’t really believe he will, I’m just playing with fate or something) ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/48 "2004-11-10T04:38:47Z")
> [@Talon Karrde](#): > > playing with fate You watch your ass. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/49 "2004-11-10T04:40:38Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > You watch your ass. Wasn’t that Ashcroft’s job? ---
**Author:** ![Blonde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Blonde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blonde)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/50 "2004-11-10T04:45:57Z")
Well, I’m giving first place to Ashcroft’s “We’re all safe now! thanks to ME and BUSH!” quote, but this one takes second place, from Don Evans, our beloved Commerce Secretary: “These past four years have brought great progress in strengthening America’s national security and economic security, and advancing the global march to peace, prosperity, and freedom.” Note to future departing cabinet members: Please, please employ better speechwriters. As in, ones that will write a speech in light of the actual events of the past four years, and not cause the average U.S. citizen (er…change that to average intelligent being) to laugh out loud. ---
**Author:** ![smilingscar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@smilingscar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smilingscar)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/51 "2004-11-10T04:53:41Z")
ashcroft is out! and Rummy is up next! yay! i hope… fuck ashcroft, argh… ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/52 "2004-11-10T04:55:28Z")
I don’t believe for one nanosecond–hell, make it a femtosecond–that Bush is insane enough to appoint John Ashcroft to the SC. However, if he does and IF the nomination is approved by the Senate, I’m going to simultaneously tremble with terror and say I TOLD YOU SO to the Bush voters. ---
**Author:** ![NicePete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ee7513/32.png) [@NicePete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NicePete)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/53 "2004-11-10T05:07:03Z")
As bad as Ashcroft is, he’s no Ed Meece. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/54 "2004-11-10T05:12:50Z")
Got that right! I despised Ed Meese and his entire family. I hate Meeses to pieces! (All right, I’m definitely going to Hell now…) ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/55 "2004-11-10T05:14:46Z")
> [@vibrotronica](#): > > Fuck John Ashcroft. Not if I had a condom made from all the rubber in India. ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Girl)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/56 "2004-11-10T07:47:14Z")
> [@Tuckerfan](#): > > However, I’d be willing to bet that Ashcroft would be more than happy to **sell whatever withered scraps of a soul he has left to Satan** to be healthy enough to serve on the court. **Tuckerfan** , that one made me laugh. I’m going to have to remember to use that phrase. Thank you. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/57 "2004-11-10T11:38:14Z")
Here’s an unsettling possibility – what if GWB wants to appoint Alberto Gonzales as the first Hispanic AG? Do you suppose that fucker could actually get confirmed? I really don’t want an Attorney General who thinks that rules against torture are quaint technicalities. ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/58 "2004-11-10T11:42:40Z")
Finally, our long national nightmare begins to end. Course, Rudy’s almost but not quite as bad. ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/59 "2004-11-10T14:06:53Z")
Anyone else hear a spontaneous outburst of Beethoven’s Ode to Joy upon hearing about this? Just me, then? ---
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918/60 "2004-11-10T16:00:17Z")
Don’t let the door hit you in your fleshy, facist ass on the way out, you freak. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-ashcroft-resigns/273918.md?page=4)