# John Carter (of Mars) Teaser Trailer **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 14, 2011, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057 "2011-07-14T21:23:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Sparky\_the\_Wonder\_Spirit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Sparky\_the\_Wonder\_Spirit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparky_the_Wonder_Spirit)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/21 "2011-07-15T05:10:26Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Sux already – dude’s about 12 inches and a hundred pounds short of a John Carter. This role calls for a Schwarzenegger with an English face and a Virginia drawl. Yes, God forbid they cast a man who is attractive to women. Looks good to me, but I don’t have a childhood ideal that it has to live up to, nor do I expect a movie full of naked women to be made for a general audience. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/22 "2011-07-15T05:21:49Z")
> [@Sparky\_the\_Wonder\_Spirit](#): > > Yes, God forbid they cast a man who is attractive to women. It ain’t the part. John Carter is **invincible.** That’s his thing. If he’s **beautiful,** the books never mention it. ---
**Author:** ![AlsoNamedBort](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alsonamedbort/32/3213_2.png) [@AlsoNamedBort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlsoNamedBort)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/23 "2011-07-15T05:29:09Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > You’ll probably enjoy it more than a reader of the books would. Check out the books **after.** Yeah, that’s what I meant. I won’t be nitpicking anything watching it. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/24 "2011-07-15T14:42:19Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > That’s another thing – I got one glimpse of a Green Martian in that trailer and he’s no more than seven feet tall. :rolleyes: But the Red Martians are supposed to be the same average size as humans, and Carter should tower over them just like he would tower over a crowd in New York City. He’s the greatest warrior in Martian history and there are hints that he’s the greatest warrior in Earth history and quite literally an immortal god. No man of average size fits the part. Heck, Kevin Sorbo was too short and slight for Hercules. John Carter was never described as a giant muscleman. He occasionally tinted his Jasoomian skin red, called himself Dotar Sojac, and passed as a normal Barsoomian. ---
**Author:** ![Oswald\_Bastable](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oswald_bastable/32/214_2.png) [@Oswald\_Bastable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oswald_Bastable)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/25 "2011-07-15T15:32:20Z")
> [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](#): > > John Carter was never described as a giant muscleman. In addition to this, Frank E. Schoonover’s original illustrations for A Princess Of Mars depict Carter as far from some musclebound hulk: ([http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Princess\_of\_Mars\_large.jpg](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Princess_of_Mars_large.jpg). and here for the interior plates: [http://www.erbzine.com/mag4/0421.html](http://www.erbzine.com/mag4/0421.html) I wonder if the original readers complained about the abundance of clothes in these illustrations as well. I could be wrong, but it looks like the art direction of the movie has taken at least a little inspiration from these original illustrations. OB ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/26 "2011-07-15T20:36:34Z")
> [@Oswald\_Bastable](#): > > In addition to this, Frank E. Schoonover’s original illustrations for A Princess Of Mars depict Carter as far from some musclebound hulk: > > ([http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Princess\_of\_Mars\_large.jpg](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Princess_of_Mars_large.jpg). > > and here for the interior plates: > > [http://www.erbzine.com/mag4/0421.html](http://www.erbzine.com/mag4/0421.html) > > I wonder if the original readers complained about the abundance of clothes in these illustrations as well. > > I could be wrong, but it looks like the art direction of the movie has taken at least a little inspiration from these original illustrations. > > OB Well whether they complained or not, the original text made it clear that Martians of both sexes often ran around in a state Earth people would describe as “pretty much nekkid.” We get to deal with the fact that Disney and quite a few others ignore that part of the text, you get to deal with the fact that the book calls for nudity. Nobody wins! ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/27 "2011-07-15T20:43:28Z")
Even recognizing that the movie would never get made (or at least not widely distributed) with actual nudity like is described in the book, there’s still a lot more room for bare skin short of the danger line. A lot of the illustrators for the book covers have designed filigree jewelry for Deejah Thoris that just happens to barely cover her nipples, or weapon harnesses for John with built-in jock straps. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/28 "2011-07-15T21:00:05Z")
> [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](#): > > John Carter was never described as a giant muscleman. He occasionally tinted his Jasoomian skin red, called himself Dotar Sojac, and passed as a normal Barsoomian. nitpick: Dotar Sojat. and once he claimed to be the Sultan Of Swat 😃 ---
**Author:** ![PigArcher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bcef8e/32.png) [@PigArcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PigArcher)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/29 "2011-07-15T21:20:18Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > That’s another thing – I got one glimpse of a Green Martian in that trailer and he’s no more than seven feet tall. :rolleyes: But the Red Martians are supposed to be the same average size as humans, and Carter should tower over them just like he would tower over a crowd in New York City. He’s the greatest warrior in Martian history and there are hints that he’s the greatest warrior in Earth history and quite literally an immortal god. No man of average size fits the part. Heck, Kevin Sorbo was too short and slight for Hercules. Ok, I only read the first book, but I thought his speed and strength on Mars was due to the lower gravity? He might have been in above average physical condition for a human but this “greatest warrior in Earth history and quite literally an immortal god” seems a bit exaggerated. Maybe Burroughs went that way in the later books, but in the first one he’s pretty clearly a normal human. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/30 "2011-07-15T21:22:39Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Even recognizing that the movie would never get made (or at least not widely distributed) with actual nudity like is described in the book, there’s still a lot more room for bare skin short of the danger line. A lot of the illustrators for the book covers have designed filigree jewelry for Deejah Thoris that just happens to barely cover her nipples, or weapon harnesses for John with built-in jock straps. You are absolutely right, and this would be an awesome solution to the nudity issue. In fact, Princess Leia’s PG rated outfit was pretty darned skimpy in certain respects, but I see no sign that this particular movie has taken this simple and obvious path. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/31 "2011-07-15T21:43:18Z")
I’ve never read the books, but Wikipedia says that the character is 6’2" tall, and the IMDB bio says the actor is six-foot tall. So why the complaints? Edited to add, I’m just glad that Tim Riggins got out of Texas. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/32 "2011-07-15T21:44:45Z")
> [@kenetic](#): > > Ok, I only read the first book, but I thought his speed and strength on Mars was due to the lower gravity? He might have been in above average physical condition for a human but this “greatest warrior in Earth history and quite literally an immortal god” seems a bit exaggerated. Maybe Burroughs went that way in the later books, but in the first one he’s pretty clearly a normal human. No, what distinguishes Carter is that **he is immortal.** He does not age. He has no pre-adult memories. I am remembering wrong or coloring in my own perceptions WRT to his size; [but:](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Carter_%28character%29#Description) > [@](#): > > Carter stands 6 feet 2 inches (1.88 m) and has close-cropped black hair and steel-grey eyes. Burroughs portrays him as an immortal being. In the opening pages of A Princess of Mars, the author reveals to the reader that Carter can remember no childhood, having always been a man of about thirty years old. Many generations of families referred to him as “Uncle Jack,” but he always lived to see all the members of the families grow old and die, while he remained young. Not a natural man, whatever he is. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/33 "2011-07-15T21:50:18Z")
> [@Evil\_Captor](#): > > You are absolutely right, and this would be an awesome solution to the nudity issue. In fact, Princess Leia’s PG rated outfit was pretty darned skimpy in certain respects, but I see no sign that this particular movie has taken this simple and obvious path. :rolleyes: Whaddaya expect. Disney. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/34 "2011-07-15T22:26:54Z")
And 6’2", BTW, is exactly **Schwarzenegger’s** height. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/35 "2011-07-15T22:34:40Z")
> [@](#): > > Whaddaya expect. Disney. They managed to give Ariel a clamshell bra, and that under the Disney label. Aren’t they doing this under one of their more adult labels? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/36 "2011-07-15T22:39:53Z")
I thought the Little Mermaid wore an algebra? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/37 "2011-07-15T23:00:56Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > I thought the Little Mermaid wore an algebra? No, she’s an Irish mermaid (you can tell by the hair), she wears an eringobragh. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2011, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/38 "2011-07-16T02:20:28Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > I thought the Little Mermaid wore an algebra? You have to sleep someitme… ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2011, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/39 "2011-07-16T02:31:05Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > No, she’s an Irish mermaid (you can tell by the hair), she wears an eringobragh. You just made me snort Dr. Pepper over my keyboard!😃 ---
**Author:** ![obfusciatrist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4af34b/32.png) [@obfusciatrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obfusciatrist)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2011, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/40 "2011-07-16T05:28:56Z")
I have faith in Andrew Stanton. But the trailer is awful. If at the end if it they’d shown the title card for the Conan the Barbarian remake I wouldn’t have had reason to disagree. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057.md?page=3)