# John Carter (of Mars) Teaser Trailer **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 14, 2011, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057 "2011-07-14T21:23:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/101 "2011-07-21T04:05:44Z")
Geez o’ Pete, didn’t they have _National Geographic_ when you folks were kids? Fine, I guess I stand corrected. Apparently the major artistic accomplishment of Burroughs was granting 12-year-old boys ten novels worth of spank material because he mentioned on one page that a woman was naked. There, you’ve officially ruined the Mars series for me. I’ll never be able to read it again with the same naive innocence. Now for God’s sake _don’t tell me why any of you liked Tarzan!!!_ :eek: ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/102 "2011-07-21T04:28:08Z")
> [@Alan\_Smithee](#): > > Apparently the major artistic accomplishment of Burroughs was granting 12-year-old boys ten novels worth of spank material because he mentioned on one page that a woman was naked. Must be, there was certainly no other. ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/103 "2011-07-21T05:05:39Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Must be, there was certainly no other. Let’s see … coat … hat … Now where’s my huff, so I can leave this thread? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/104 "2011-07-21T12:52:53Z")
> [@Alan\_Smithee](#): > > Now for God’s sake _don’t tell me why any of you liked Tarzan!!!_ :eek: 'Cause is was cool. It was privately proven that he was Lord Greystoke, yet he kept it secret so that the girl wouldn’t chose him over his rival just because he was a peer. Speaking like Sir Larry Olivier rather than Johnny Weismuller was cool, too. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/105 "2011-07-21T15:16:54Z")
> [@Alan\_Smithee](#): > > Geez o’ Pete, didn’t they have _National Geographic_ when you folks were kids? > > Fine, I guess I stand corrected. Apparently the major artistic accomplishment of Burroughs was granting 12-year-old boys ten novels worth of spank material because he mentioned on one page that a woman was naked. In that day and age, it was quite an accomplishment! 😃 Just mentioning that everyone ran around naked on one page was enough to set plenty of adolescent imaginations afire back in the era of the Hayes Code and the Comics Code and all the other damned censorship they was having. It was a very different time, and frankly, I’m kinda stunned that Burrough A) mentioned that the characters ran around pretty much naked and B) Got away with it. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/106 "2011-07-21T16:36:29Z")
It’s not that that was the _only_ thing good about the books; it’s just that it was certainly one of them, and can’t easily be ignored. ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/107 "2011-07-22T00:35:24Z")
Scheduled for March release? To me, that doesn’t bespeak a lot of studio confidence in the product. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/108 "2011-07-22T01:41:34Z")
> [@Spoke](#): > > Scheduled for March release? To me, that doesn’t bespeak a lot of studio confidence in the product. Why is that? ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/109 "2011-07-22T02:20:49Z")
Usually, big releases are either in the summer, or timed for a major holiday. ---
**Author:** ![Waenara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/50afbb/32.png) [@Waenara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waenara)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/110 "2011-07-22T02:23:39Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Why is that? There are exceptions, but generally speaking movies that the studio thinks are big blockbusters are released during the summer. And movies that the studio thinks are possible Oscar contenders are released in the fall (closer to the end of the year, more likely to be remembered when people are thinking of Oscar noms). Generally, movies released in January through maybe April are not big contenders for box office money or awards season. ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/111 "2011-07-22T03:50:13Z")
> [@Waenara](#): > > Generally, movies released in January through maybe April are not big contenders for box office money or awards season. And Nicholas Cage is in every other one of them. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/112 "2011-07-22T04:04:34Z")
> [@River\_Hippie](#): > > It’s been many years since I read the books but I’m pretty sure he contrasts the black race of Barsoom with the “coarser” blacks he had known on Earth. I recall he described the Barsoomian blacks as looking exactly like Caucasian Earth men except with black skin. > > Someone please correct me if I’m not remembering this right. I have all the books and I don’t remember this comparison. But I could have forgotten. I think I’ll read the books again, with the upcoming film in mind, and maybe I’ll see something I didn’t before. My impression of the different colored Barsoomians is that they are simply…differently colored. I never got the idea that ERB thought one was better than then other. In the books, when the plot has a different race being encountered, there are always heroes and villains in each one. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/113 "2011-07-22T04:33:07Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > My impression of the different colored Barsoomians is that they are simply…differently colored. I never got the idea that ERB thought one was better than then other. In the books, when the plot has a different race being encountered, there are always heroes and villains in each one. Well, the different colors also have different **cultures.** And the Green Martians’ culture in particular is very different from all the others’. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/114 "2011-07-22T04:36:32Z")
BTW, you can read about half the Barsoom novels online [here.](http://www.johncarterofmars.ca/books.html) ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/115 "2011-07-22T04:47:46Z")
The green Martians are also anatomically very different, and probably a different species (or differ at an even broader taxonomic level, most likely). ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/116 "2011-07-22T04:57:39Z")
_Hellboy_ was released in March and _Watchmen_ was released in April, and they were both damn good films. I bet the studios thought they would bomb – so you can’t really judge a film’s quality by it’s release date, though films released in August almost always do suck. April and March are more problematical. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/117 "2011-07-22T11:30:19Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > The green Martians are also anatomically very different, and probably a different species (or differ at an even broader taxonomic level, most likely). They seperated from the tree of life early. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/118 "2011-07-22T13:06:07Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > The green Martians are also anatomically very different, and probably a different species (or differ at an even broader taxonomic level, most likely). And [they’re](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barsoom#Green_Martians) **twelve to fifteen feet tall.** The one I glimpsed in the trailer was a runt. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/119 "2011-07-22T13:09:02Z")
Green Martians also have eyes mounted on the sides of their heads. (And the one I saw in the trailer seemed to have a conventional human binocular arrangement.) **That** would be a challenge to any director – not the makeup, but making the audience relate to a character that can’t look at you with both eyes at once. Think about it. Even with a Cyclops it would be easier. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/120 "2011-07-22T13:10:30Z")
Some of the Green Martians are “Thurds”. How could I have forgotten? 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057.md?page=7)