# John Carter (of Mars) Teaser Trailer **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 14, 2011, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057 "2011-07-14T21:23:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/121 "2011-07-22T13:18:48Z")
From Brianglutton’s quote: > [@](#): > > The Chessmen of Mars introduces the Kaldanes of the region Bantoom, whose form is almost all head but for six vestigial legs and a pair of Chelae, and whose racial goal is to evolve even further towards pure intellect and away from bodily existence. In order to function in the physical realm, they have bred the Rykors, a complementary species composed of a body similar to that of a perfect specimen of Red Martian but lacking a head; when the Kaldane places itself upon the shoulders of the Rykor, a bundle of tentacles connects with the Rykor’s spinal cord, allowing the brain of the Kaldane to interface with the body of the Rykor. Should the Rykor become damaged or die, the Kaldane merely climbs upon another as an earthling might change a horse. Use by Poul Anderson and the Avatar film. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/122 "2011-07-22T13:25:22Z")
> [@Evil\_Captor](#): > > _Hellboy_ was released in March and _Watchmen_ was released in April, and they were both damn good films. I bet the studios thought they would bomb – so you can’t really judge a film’s quality by it’s release date, though films released in August almost always do suck. April and March are more problematical. March and April is when the studios release the risky films - movies that may be good, but might not neccessarily find an audience. In addition to the movies mentioned above, the first _Matrix film was released then, as was 300 and Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland_. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/123 "2011-07-22T13:30:16Z")
I always liked Tan Hadron of Hastor, he was my kinda guy. ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/124 "2011-07-22T13:43:39Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Green Martians also have eyes mounted on the sides of their heads. (And the one I saw in the trailer seemed to have a conventional human binocular arrangement.) **That** would be a challenge to any director – not the makeup, but making the audience relate to a character that can’t look at you with both eyes at once. Think about it. Even with a Cyclops it would be easier. I remember the eyes being described as similar in structure to a [chameleon’s eyes](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZOXksR1-so&feature=related): they can move independently, but they can also both be made to look forward. ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/125 "2011-07-22T18:47:41Z")
Does John Carter get wet in the Omean Sea? How about the “Holy Therns”?-will they make an appearence? ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/126 "2011-07-22T19:22:01Z")
I wanna see him and Tars kicking butt on some plant men. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/127 "2011-07-22T19:23:11Z")
> [@BMalion](#): > > I wanna see him and Tars kicking butt on some plant men. Hey! ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/128 "2011-07-22T20:43:06Z")
> [@Spoke](#): > > I remember the eyes being described as similar in structure to a [chameleon’s eyes](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZOXksR1-so&feature=related): they can move independently, but they can also both be made to look forward. I don’t recall that. A chameleon can look forward with both eyes because its eyes are on **stalks.** A Green Martian who looks like [this](http://www.johncarterofmars.ca/art.html) artist’s conception (the one on the upper left of the page – which I think is most faithful to the book) probably could not. And I don’t think Burroughs ever explained what those antenna-things sticking out of the forehead are for. Probably not telepathy, Carter can do that with none. Are they ears? Nostrils? ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/129 "2011-07-22T22:25:28Z")
Here is Burroughs’ first description of the Green Martians as encountered by John Carter in “A Princess of Mars.” He’s describing them as they hatch from their eggs, but he compares them to the adults he sees later. > [@John Cartrer](#): > > Five or six had already hatched and the grotesque caricatures which sat blinking in the sunlight were enough to cause me to doubt my sanity. They seemed mostly head, with little scrawny bodies, long necks and six legs, or, as I afterward learned, two legs and two arms, with an intermediary pair of limbs which could be used at will either as arms or legs. Their eyes were set at the extreme sides of their heads a trifle above the center and protruded in such a manner that they could be directed either forward or back and also independently of each other, thus permitting this queer animal to look in any direction, or in two directions at once, without the necessity of turning the head. > > The ears, which were slightly above the eyes and closer together, were small, cup-shaped antennae, protruding not more than an inch on these young specimens. Their noses were but longitudinal slits in the center of their faces, midway between their mouths and ears. > > There was no hair on their bodies, which were of a very light yellowish-green color. In the adults, as I was to learn quite soon, this color deepens to an olive green and is darker in the male than in the female. Further, the heads of the adults are not so out of proportion to their bodies as in the case of the young. > > The iris of the eyes is blood red, as in Albinos, while the pupil is dark. The eyeball itself is very white, as are the teeth. These latter add a most ferocious appearance to an otherwise fearsome and terrible countenance, as the lower tusks curve upward to sharp points which end about where the eyes of earthly human beings are located. The whiteness of the teeth is not that of ivory, but of the snowiest and most gleaming of china. Against the dark background of their olive skins their tusks stand out in a most striking manner, making these weapons present a singularly formidable appearance. The eyes aren’t necessarily on stalks per se, but they do protrude somehow. If not stalks, then something chameleonlike, I’d say. The antennae are the ears. They have six limbs, two of which are used as legs and two as arms, with two serving either purpose. That he initially characterizes them all as legs when seeing the infants indicates that the hands and feet must be more-or-less identical in shape, either like apes or like something else entirely, rather than clearly distinguishable hands and feet like humans have. I don’t think I’ve ever seen an illustration that got all of these details right, especially the limbs and the occasional use of the medial limbs as legs. A further detail he adds later is that the tusks of the woman are larger and curve up almost to their ears. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/130 "2011-07-22T22:29:11Z")
> [@Alan\_Smithee](#): > > I don’t think I’ve ever seen an illustration that got all of these details right, especially the limbs and the occasional use of the medial limbs as legs. Does Burroughs ever actually describe a Green Martian walking on four limbs? ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/131 "2011-07-22T22:33:03Z")
Here it is. Too late to add it with an edit. > [@John Carter](#): > > With the exception of their ornaments all were naked. The women varied in appearance but little from the men, except that their tusks were much larger in proportion to their height, in some instances curving nearly to their high-set ears. Their bodies were smaller and lighter in color, and their fingers and toes bore the rudiments of nails, which were entirely lacking among the males. The adult females ranged in height from ten to twelve feet. This is presumably the first passage that got those little 12-year-old future Dopers’ hearts pounding! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/132 "2011-07-22T22:36:01Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Does Burroughs ever actually describe a Green Martian walking on four limbs? Only in that one passage. I haven;t read the last few stories, but I think he forgot that detail well before then anyway. Unfortunately, the Green martians don’t play nearly as big a role in the sequels as I think they should have. They were my favorite part of the first novel. But then, I have access to porn. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/133 "2011-07-22T22:43:57Z")
> [@Alan\_Smithee](#): > > Only in that one passage. I haven;t read the last few stories, but I think he forgot that detail well before then anyway. Unfortunately, the Green martians don’t play nearly as big a role in the sequels as I think they should have. They were my favorite part of the first novel. But then, I have access to porn. Green Martian porn?! ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/134 "2011-07-22T22:56:07Z")
> [@Alan\_Smithee](#): > > A further detail he adds later is that the tusks of the woman are larger and curve up almost to their ears. Martian bar scene: “Hey, Tars! Check out the tusks on that bitch!” ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2011, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/135 "2011-07-23T01:08:32Z")
“Give that bitch a zitidar. Bitches love zitidars.” ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2011, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/136 "2011-07-23T01:19:45Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > BTW, you can read about half the Barsoom novels online [here.](http://www.johncarterofmars.ca/books.html) Thanks! I’m a middling sci-fi fan, far closer to fan than fanatic; the space stuff never really interested me as much as the social-science-fiction did, so I missed a lot. Now I can make it up 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2011, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/137 "2011-07-23T01:43:18Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > I don’t recall that. A chameleon can look forward with both eyes because its eyes are on **stalks.** 😕 Chameleons’ eyes are not on “stalks.” Did you watch the [video](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZOXksR1-so&feature=related) I linked? The way Burroughs describes the eyes, it is pretty obvious to me that he had a chameleon’s eyes in mind as a model: > [@](#): > > Their eyes were set at the extreme sides of their heads a trifle above the center and protruded in such a manner that they could be directed either forward or back and also independently of each other, thus permitting this queer animal to look in any direction, or in two directions at once, without the necessity of turning the head. Just like a chameleon. Note that he specifically says they can direct the eyes forward. (Which runs contrary to your original point.) ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2011, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/138 "2011-07-23T01:48:22Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Green Martian porn?! Come to think of it, if this movie hits, I honestly expect some (animated) to emerge. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2011, 11:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/139 "2011-07-23T11:05:37Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > BTW, you can read about half the Barsoom novels online [here.](http://www.johncarterofmars.ca/books.html) The first 5 are available as free eBooks as well. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2011, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057/140 "2011-07-23T13:38:05Z")
> [@BMalion](#): > > I always liked Tan Hadron of Hastor, he was my kinda guy. I rather liked Ulysses Paxton, another Jasoomian(from Earth).He thought fast in some tricky situations. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars-teaser-trailer/589057.md?page=8)