# John Carter (of Mars) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 8, 2012, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars/615203 "2012-03-08T22:06:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2012, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars/615203/41 "2012-03-12T14:43:28Z")
Oof. Second to a 2nd week The Lorax. That’s gotta smart. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2012, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars/615203/42 "2012-03-12T15:03:52Z")
I, too, saw this movie with zero expectations. I never read the Burroughs stories, and the closest I ever came was occasionally checking out the scantily-clad babes in the old Marvel _John Carter: Warlord of Mars_ comic books. I thought the movie was worth seeing, but it’s not something I’m likely to feel the need to see again. It seemed to be about one part _The Outlaw Josey Wales_ and two parts _Cowboys & Aliens_. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2012, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars/615203/43 "2012-03-12T15:04:54Z")
We enjoyed it - alot of the dialogue was hard to follow (might have been me) - but he visuals were fantastic. We did see it in 3D - thought it added some depth to it - and it did not give me the usual migraine. Will likely go see it again - definitely buying the blu-ray when it comes out. ---
**Author:** ![LonesomePolecat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a88e57/32.png) [@LonesomePolecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LonesomePolecat)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2012, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars/615203/44 "2012-03-12T15:32:27Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > I see that the news has this film performing badly, which is a serious letdown. This is prime pulp (almost pre-pulp\*) material. Why the hell wasn’t this a Christmas or a Summer release? It’s doing poorly in the American market but respectably well abroad with more than $130 million in box office receipts world wide. Even so, whoever did the marketing ought be fired. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2012, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars/615203/45 "2012-03-12T15:40:45Z")
> [@LonesomePolecat](#): > > It’s doing poorly in the American market but respectably well abroad with more than $130 million in box office receipts world wide. > > Even so, whoever did the marketing ought be fired. They did the same thing with the computer-animated **Mars Needs Moms** a year ago – giving it a poor release. That, too, was a well-made flick. What gives at Disney? Two years in a row they take SF movies about Mars with big FX budgets and give them inadequate releases. ---
**Author:** ![jackdavinci](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackdavinci/32/3259_2.png) [@jackdavinci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackdavinci)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2012, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars/615203/46 "2012-03-12T17:26:25Z")
I really enjoyed parts of the movie. Certainly the whole thing was a visual spectacle. I was surprised they kept it as still being our Mars. That was kind of silly. I didn’t mind most of the jumping scenes, but the first time he is learning to walk was ridiculously stupid and poorly done. I’m surprised it was beat out by The Lorax. Our theater lobby was packed with teens lining up to see Project X. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2012, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars/615203/47 "2012-03-12T17:49:00Z")
> [@jackdavinci](#): > > I didn’t mind most of the jumping scenes, but the first time he is learning to walk was ridiculously stupid and poorly done. I too believed that was overdone, but it is from the novels. ---
**Author:** ![MrSquishy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b9e5f3/32.png) [@MrSquishy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrSquishy)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2012, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars/615203/48 "2012-03-12T18:36:29Z")
Should I take my almost 8-year-old son to see it? It looks pretty cool from the commercials, but they always load those up with action scenes. Will he understand the plot at all? What is the action to dialogue ratio? ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2012, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars/615203/49 "2012-03-12T18:40:04Z")
I would. It’s mostly action, and even if he doesn’t understand some bits, it isn’t important. ERB was about as visceral as you could get – we’re not looking at shades of gray and moral ambiguity here. ---
**Author:** ![obfusciatrist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4af34b/32.png) [@obfusciatrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obfusciatrist)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2012, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars/615203/50 "2012-03-12T22:26:22Z")
Since I was being super entertained that left my brain open for other thoughts. The super jumping really annoyed me. It only slightly annoyed me that gravity about twice the moon’s allows jumping like that (further proof the moon landings were faked, I guess, since our astronauts couldn’t). But the big annoyance was that every thing still fell at essentially an earth pace. He could jump 500 feet in the air but then we didn’t have to wait a minute and a half for him to come down. It is that lack of mass and gravity that always seems to break the CGI spell for me. Similarly, in the Battleship trailer (not that I’m expecting anything good), the door covers are hundreds of feet wide and open completely in 6 frames of film. The stress their metal can withstand is more impressive than any other technology on display. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2012, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars/615203/51 "2012-03-12T22:46:10Z")
> [@obfusciatrist](#): > > The super jumping really annoyed me. It only slightly annoyed me that gravity about twice the moon’s allows jumping like that We were spared Deja Thoris laying an egg. Don’t push it. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2012, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars/615203/52 "2012-03-12T23:19:25Z")
> [@LonesomePolecat](#): > > It’s doing poorly in the American market but respectably well abroad with more than $130 million in box office receipts world wide. > > Even so, whoever did the marketing ought be fired. [They WERE fired.](http://www.thewrap.com/movies/article/disneys-250m-john-carter-gamble-cosmic-bomb-or-otherworldly-hit-33532?page=0,0) So … good call! ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2012, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars/615203/53 "2012-03-13T00:10:18Z")
I’m usually underwhelmed by CGI-heavy fantasy epics, but I really enjoyed John Carter. All it needed was one less major battle scene and a Bernard Herrmann score. If Taylor can’t make the next movie for any reason, I nominate Tom Brady to take his place. Re: the body/copy issue between Earth and Mars–my take was that one copy goes into some kind of stasis/suspended animation when the other body is active. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2012, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars/615203/54 "2012-03-13T00:19:49Z")
> [@keeganst94](#): > > That makes sense, but throwing it away is still only marginally less stupid, because he’s still throwing away a piece of technology decades ahead of the martians while (I assume) still trying to stop the Thune. Here’s an idea: your wife is a scientist. Give it to her, study it, learn how to use it, and then use it against the Thune. I agree, it wasn’t a smart move, but it wasn’t dumb in a way that brought me out of the movie. Carter is a head-strong cavalryman from a society that’s still really impressed by machine tools. (And he’s from the most agrarian part of that society, to boot.) I wouldn’t expect to him to consider the possibilities of reverse engineering a sophisticated technology like the medallion, over a romantic but pointless gesture like throwing it off the balcony. Hell, he was a Confederate soldier: that was pretty much the defining trait of the entire CSA. However, I do like to think that, if he hadn’t been ambushed by the priest and sent back to Earth, Deja would have torn him a new asshole for throwing it away when she woke up the next morning. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2012, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars/615203/55 "2012-03-13T00:33:13Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Hell, he was a Confederate soldier: that was pretty much the defining trait of the entire CSA. Throwing things off of balconies? ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2012, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars/615203/56 "2012-03-13T00:47:52Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Throwing things off of balconies? No, callous disregard for alien nanotech. That’s why they lost at Gettysburg, you know. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2012, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars/615203/57 "2012-03-13T00:49:32Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > No, callous disregard for alien nanotech. That’s why they lost at Gettysburg, you know. Dude, too soon. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2012, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars/615203/58 "2012-03-13T01:29:38Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > No, callous disregard for alien nanotech. That’s why they lost at Gettysburg, you know. I thought we…er, they…because Lee for once screwed up about how far away a defensive line was. But I digress. As Rhett Butler said, “There is not a cannon factory in the entire South.” They had no factories or engineers to replicate repeating rifles or turrets on ironclads. The Virginia “lost” the battle with the Monitor was engine failure. Her armor was railroad rails. Although both sides claimed victory; the CSA because the Virginia briefly broke the blockade; the USA because the Virginia left the field of battle. An interesting point, the Captain of the Virginia was wounded by fire from a groud battery. The union was out to kill the sons of bitches; the Confederates thought it ungentlemanly for a ground battery to fire on a ship. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2012, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars/615203/59 "2012-03-13T04:22:15Z")
Well I thought it was a fine movie. Not sure why the critics are so lukewarm. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2012, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars/615203/60 "2012-03-13T06:46:37Z")
It was quite enjoyable for a sci-fi sword movie. Whoever approved the cut of the trailer should be run out of the business. Clearly the studio did not believe in the film, and it is quite good for what it is. Far better than Attack of the Clones. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars/615203.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-carter-of-mars/615203.md?page=4)