John Edwards and his Wife's Cancer

[Miller]

@Lamar Mundane

As a single parent with two kids under ten years old? Do you have any idea how difficult that situation is?

Being able to afford a full time nanny probably takes the edge off.

[storyteller0910]

@John Corrado

The “good character” thing to do, then, is to postpone what could be done later in order to take the time to do things that can never be done again - spending time with family and being happy together, and support his wife through painful chemotherapy treatments in some way other than over a quick cell-phone call between fundraisers in different states.

Well, but, honestly, if Elizabeth dies two years from now one of the things that can never be done again is running for president together. Maybe it matters to them that much. Maybe they find real joy in sharing that sort of effort with one another. Maybe catching a bit of that joy one last time is something that will make Elizabeth Edwards feel good about her last years in a way that going home to die will not. That’s a lot of maybe, I know, but I’m not part of their marriage and don’t know what makes them happy.

By instead deciding to continue with the campaign, what they are saying is what BobLibDem said earlier, and what I react so strongly against: that Edwards becoming President is the only reasonable way he can do anything to help the country, and that his being President is so much more important than, say, Barrack Obama or Hillary Clinton being President that it’s worth his being essentially out of her life while she dies.

Or that Edwards running for President is the best thing that Elizabeth can think of to do with the time she has left. I wouldn’t want strangers on an Internet message board judging the things I decided to do with my dying months or years.

And people who think it isn’t that - read over any biography of someone on a President campaign. Read any of the “Making of the President” books. There isn’t the time for long, langourious Sorkinesque conversations on the nature of life and politics and everything grand. It’s a constant, hectic, jerking from place to place with all spare time devoted to trying to squeeze in one or two more hours of needed sleep.

I don’t know either John or Elizabeth Edwards, and can’t speak to their marriage. I know that my wife and I are at our happiest when our lives are hectic; we feel engaged in life, working together toward common goals. If one of us was dying, I can promise you we would be doing as much as we could possibly manage for as long as we could possibly manage it. Might not be right for you or your family, but it’s right for ours.

If my wife were dying, and told me the thing for me to do was to spend her last years away from the house while she suffered through treatment, I’d kick her right in the ass for being a martyr. Twice.

Hey, different strokes. This is not how I see things, nor the way my relationship works. Yours may be different. But expecting the Edwards’ to see things the way you do in this way seems a bit arrogant - like, my way of handling marriage is the only possible good way, and never mind that the two people in question have been together for three decades and know each other way better than I ever can.

[BobLibDem]

For what it’s worth, Tony Snow expressed his admiration for the Edwardses which is noteworthy in that he is facing his own health issues and will soon be off work himself. If such an outspoken member of the opposition going through a similar ordeal can express his admiration, why can’t we all let those affected make their own decisions without second guessing? At some point we need to put politics aside and just be human beings. I wish Mr. Snow the best health outcome as I do Mrs. Edwards.

[John_Corrado]

@storyteller0910

Hey, different strokes. This is not how I see things, nor the way my relationship works. Yours may be different. But expecting the Edwards’ to see things the way you do in this way seems a bit arrogant - like, my way of handling marriage is the only possible good way, and never mind that the two people in question have been together for three decades and know each other way better than I ever can.

But, for some reason, the fact that I’m saying “the Edwards don’t see things the way I do, which makes me trust John Edwards less to be a President who sees things the way I do” is driving people into apoplectic rage, because I dare question their decision. Y’know, wearing my clairvoyant pants and all.

If this is the right decision for them, so be it. But if their decision is based on the idea that it’s too important for John to be President for his wife’s impending death to stop him from trying - which is what BobLibDem has been saying, and said in the post I responded to where I stated all this - then that bespeaks both an arrogance and a belief in the Imperial Presidency that I find extremely distasteful in a person, let alone a Presidential candidate.

[John_Corrado]

@BobLibDem

I wish Mr. Snow the best health outcome as I do Mrs. Edwards.

Really? I wish Ms. Edwards would just shut up and die already.
Jesus Christ, people! Is cancer sacrosanct? Does Ms. Edwards’ medical condition ennoble her? Does it mean that Mr. Edwards has been scrubbed of all of his flaws through the crucible of a poor prognosis?

Or is it that I’m a conservative? Does that automatically mean in your eyes that I’m evil, that I laugh at people who fall prey to cancer, that I revel in the miseries of my opponents?

I wish the Edwards to go through this with as little pain as possible. But the fact that I am somehow suspect until I state that indicates how pathetic the discourse on this board is.

I’m done. Have fun.

[storyteller0910]

@John Corrado

Really? I wish Ms. Edwards would just shut up and die already.
Jesus Christ, people! Is cancer sacrosanct? Does Ms. Edwards’ medical condition ennoble her? Does it mean that Mr. Edwards has been scrubbed of all of his flaws through the crucible of a poor prognosis?

Or is it that I’m a conservative? Does that automatically mean in your eyes that I’m evil, that I laugh at people who fall prey to cancer, that I revel in the miseries of my opponents?

I wish the Edwards to go through this with as little pain as possible. But the fact that I am somehow suspect until I state that indicates how pathetic the discourse on this board is.

I’m done. Have fun.

Leave the conversation if you wish, but I’ll observe that no one has suggested that you wish ill on Mrs. Edwards. In the above post, you are responding to persecution and criticism that does not exist anywhere in this thread.

[wonky]

@John Corrado

I wish the Edwards to go through this with as little pain as possible. But the fact that I am somehow suspect until I state that indicates how pathetic the discourse on this board is.

I suspect you of partisan arguments and paternalism. You want him to look bad, therefore he looks bad to you.

I don’t see where anyone even suggested that you want Elizabeth Edwards dead. But, you have powers of observation beyond the rest of us, so…

[tomndebb]

This thread has about run its course. Nearly every poster in the thread for the last couple of days has been arguing against scarecrows and taking umbrage at statements not quite made by other posters.

Before this turns into a brawl, since it has already lost any substance it might have had, I’m shutting it down.

[ /Moderating ]