# John Malkovich to play Poirot **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 2, 2019, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-malkovich-to-play-poirot/828819 "2019-02-02T02:29:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2019, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-malkovich-to-play-poirot/828819/21 "2019-02-03T03:28:04Z")
Tied to watch, couldn’t finish. In tone, it seemed more like slow moving dark Russian science fiction. Every freaking shot was DIRECTED, in a way that called attention to itself with framing and lighting and color. The actors become mere paper dolls for the director to photograph. The age aspect of Poirot was presented in a way that reminds me of the stereotype young people have that anyone over 60 is decrepit and useless and stupid. It seems that the fact that it is a story about Poirot is superfluous to the directors vision. Proceed with caution. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2019, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-malkovich-to-play-poirot/828819/22 "2019-02-03T14:24:16Z")
> [@Baron\_Greenback](#): > > And yet, you’ve not seen it. > > It’s not the cosy Suchet-era Poirot, but Malkovich is great. His Poirot is elderly, weary, disillusioned and no worse for that. He’s mocked by the current generation of police detectives - the business of murder isn’t usually settled in the drawing rooms of the landed gentry by amateurs, after all. It’s always been a much murkier business than that. > > It’s worth a watch. There’s a member of the core Harry Potter movie cast in it that I wouldn’t have recognised - unprompted by publicity - in a million years. As an “elderly, weary, disillusioned” person myself, I do not care to watch same in movies. But I look forward to reading other peoples’ comments. ---
**Author:** ![PatrickLondon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/patricklondon/32/4422_2.png) [@PatrickLondon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatrickLondon)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2019, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-malkovich-to-play-poirot/828819/23 "2019-02-03T16:10:08Z")
> [@Baron\_Greenback](#): > > There’s a member of the core Harry Potter movie cast in it that I wouldn’t have recognised - unprompted by publicity - in a million years. The years have not been kind. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2019, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-malkovich-to-play-poirot/828819/24 "2019-02-03T16:11:47Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > David Suchet perfected the TV/movie Poirot so let’s just move on. Peter Ustinov or GTFO… ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2019, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-malkovich-to-play-poirot/828819/25 "2019-02-03T17:07:55Z")
> [@Baron\_Greenback](#): > > And yet, you’ve not seen it. > > It’s not the cosy Suchet-era Poirot, but Malkovich is great. His Poirot is elderly, weary, disillusioned and no worse for that. He’s mocked by the current generation of police detectives - the business of murder isn’t usually settled in the drawing rooms of the landed gentry by amateurs, after all. It’s always been a much murkier business than that. > > It’s worth a watch. There’s a member of the core Harry Potter movie cast in it that I wouldn’t have recognised - unprompted by publicity - in a million years. That’s why I didn’t give it a review, I only talked about why I didn’t want to see it. The character you described didn’t have to be Poirot. At this point they’re just trading on the name to get viewers, many of whom (to judge by this thread and IMDB reviews) were sadly disappointed. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2019, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-malkovich-to-play-poirot/828819/26 "2019-02-03T18:28:08Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > Peter Ustinov or GTFO… Non, non, non, my deluded friend. ---
**Author:** ![typoink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecb155/32.png) [@typoink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/typoink)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2019, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-malkovich-to-play-poirot/828819/27 "2019-02-03T19:59:26Z")
As one of the outliers who actually rather liked Branagh’s portrayal, yeah, this looks lousy. I don’t necessarily mind playing loose with some of the character’s physical attributes or heightening some aspects, but…at least have some bloody fun with it. I read Poirot because it’s fun to giggle along with relatively brisk but twisty stories. This ain’t that. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2019, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-malkovich-to-play-poirot/828819/28 "2019-02-03T20:18:28Z")
I just went through the first three Lord Peter Wimsey novels that have Harriet Vane in them. First time I’ve read Dorothy Sayers since I was a teenager and plowed through nearly all the non-Vane stuff. I’ve decided that the style of entertainment I crave is Wimsey portrayed as a one-legged underworld crime boss with a large black mustache. And he should be known as “Peg-leg Pete.” And I want it set in the 1890s. In New Orleans. Get on it, Hollywood. ---
**Author:** ![Patch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a183cd/32.png) [@Patch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patch)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2019, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-malkovich-to-play-poirot/828819/29 "2019-02-04T15:32:21Z")
> [@nightshadea](#): > > point number 3 could be made for Agatha Christie and most pre ww2 non noir mysteries altogether …… Oh, I dunno… The last John Dickson Carr book I read (as in, I refused to read anything else of his after finishing this book), involved someone murdered in the middle of a clay tennis court by strangulation. The only marks in the clay were his. How was he strangled? The killer told the victim he was inventing a tennis playing robot, and needed help to get some measurements. He tied one end of a rope to one side of the court, then held the rope on the other side and used the victim’s body as a reference. He then told the victim he needed a measurement for the robot’s neck. When the victim wrapped the rope around his neck, the killer strangled him, then removed the rope. I dare anyone to have seen that coming. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2019, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-malkovich-to-play-poirot/828819/30 "2019-02-06T03:57:36Z")
My father has been reading classic English mystery and watching Masterpiece Theater almost his entire life. He said The ABC Murders was good. I must watch it now, if only to argue with him. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f8ce5/32.png) [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2019, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-malkovich-to-play-poirot/828819/31 "2019-02-06T05:14:20Z")
> [@Baron\_Greenback](#): > > And yet, you’ve not seen it. > > It’s not the cosy Suchet-era Poirot, but Malkovich is great. His Poirot is elderly, weary, disillusioned and no worse for that. He’s mocked by the current generation of police detectives - the business of murder isn’t usually settled in the drawing rooms of the landed gentry by amateurs, after all. It’s always been a much murkier business than that. > > It’s worth a watch. There’s a member of the core Harry Potter movie cast in it that I wouldn’t have recognised - unprompted by publicity - in a million years. But in the stories, Poirot wasn’t an amateur; he was a Belgian police officer. He may have been a WW1 hero, too. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Bredin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/96bed5/32.png) [@John\_Bredin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Bredin)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2019, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-malkovich-to-play-poirot/828819/32 "2019-02-06T16:12:14Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > In the end they (and/or Suchet) decided to make him a religious nut, something for which there is no support in any of the books. Wasn’t that just for Murder on the Orient Express? Suchet’s Poirot wasn’t so dour, nor openly religious except for occasionally mentioning _le bon Dieu_, in the many years of television episodes before that production. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-malkovich-to-play-poirot/828819.md?page=1)