# John Walker-Taliban Warrior **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 3, 2001, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-walker-taliban-warrior/96643 "2001-12-03T16:44:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2001, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-walker-taliban-warrior/96643/1 "2001-12-03T16:44:42Z")
Acording to CNN’s Web site, a 20-year-old American anmed [John Walker](http://www.cnn.com/2001/WORLD/asiapcf/central/12/03/ret.american.taliban/index.html) was captured after the collapse of the Taliban prison revolt in Mazar-i-Sharif. Walker converted to Islam four years ago and went to Yemen to study Arabic. From there, he went to Pakistan, where he fell in with the Taliban and went to Afghanistan to fight for them. OK, tell me this guy isn’t a disgusting traitor who desperately needs to be hanged. What kind of a jackass fights FOR the filthy, murderous Taliban? ---
**Author:** ![Hoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e68b1a/32.png) [@Hoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoe)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2001, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-walker-taliban-warrior/96643/2 "2001-12-03T16:53:08Z")
Anmed Americans have been known to support terrorists. If you encounter any ANMEDs, contact the police. ---
**Author:** ![Tennessee\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f0a364/32.png) [@Tennessee\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tennessee_Ben)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2001, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-walker-taliban-warrior/96643/3 "2001-12-03T16:53:55Z")
I just read that, too, and something about it seems amiss. Especially this paragraph: > [@](#): > > He then went to the Afghan capital, Kabul, where, because he did not speak the local languages, the Taliban urged him to join the forces supported and funded by Osama bin Laden, he said. Does that make any sense? “You’re clearly a westerner. You don’t speak our language. Here’s a Kalishnakov.” WTF? My only hope is that my parents read that article, too, so that all the drinking and running around naked I did in college won’t seem so bad by comparison. ---
**Author:** ![Hoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e68b1a/32.png) [@Hoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoe)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2001, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-walker-taliban-warrior/96643/4 "2001-12-03T16:57:13Z")
What kind of a jackass fights FOR the filthy, murderous Americans? ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2001, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-walker-taliban-warrior/96643/5 "2001-12-03T17:02:36Z")
I read the thread title and thought for sure that Chuck Norris was going to be mentioned. I gotta admit, this sounds fishy. **Flunky** : Osama, there’s this American that’s wants to join up, the Taliban think it’s okay. **Osama** : Hmmm. Major terrorist activity planned in September, American wants to join. CIA? Nah, give him the decoder ring. ---
**Author:** ![Spritle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Spritle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spritle)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2001, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-walker-taliban-warrior/96643/6 "2001-12-03T17:03:06Z")
And just _why_ did I open this thread thinking it might have something to do with Scotch? A curse upon you, **gobear**. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2001, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-walker-taliban-warrior/96643/7 "2001-12-03T17:09:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tennessee Ben \* > \*\* > Does that make any sense? “You’re clearly a westerner. You don’t speak our language. Here’s a Kalishnakov.” WTF? > \*\* I think it was more, “You’re obviously a foreigner who doesn’t know too much about weapons and is crazy enough to actually come here and fight for us. Go join up with Bin Laden’s boys…we’re not sure we want you hanging around us with a rifle or submachine gun.” ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2001, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-walker-taliban-warrior/96643/8 "2001-12-03T17:21:26Z")
Who, that CIA spy guy? So the whole support-the-Taliban stuff back during the Soviet era was _his_ baby? [sub]The above post is merely another joke about confusing one John Walker for another. The posting party is aware that US support for the _mujahedeen_ during the eighties was not specifically targeted to the Taliban[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![IzzyR](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/2acd7d/32.png) [@IzzyR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IzzyR)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2001, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-walker-taliban-warrior/96643/9 "2001-12-03T17:26:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Captain Amazing \* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Tennessee Ben \* > > > > Does that make any sense? “You’re clearly a westerner. You don’t speak our language. Here’s a Kalishnakov.” WTF? > > I think it was more, “You’re obviously a foreigner who doesn’t know too much about weapons and is crazy enough to actually come here and fight for us. Go join up with Bin Laden’s boys…we’re not sure we want you hanging around us with a rifle or submachine gun.” I don’t understand the confusion. The guy spoke Arabic. He did not speak the Afghan languages. So they sent him off to join the bin Laden forces, who also spoke Arabic. ---
**Author:** ![Bluepony](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Bluepony](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bluepony)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2001, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-walker-taliban-warrior/96643/10 "2001-12-03T18:04:29Z")
Well, the cool part about it is that we don’t have to shell out for an interpreter when they haul his ass before a tribunal. And I thought wrecking a perfectly good '64 Chevy Impala while drag-racing for pink slips was the _dumbest_ thing you could ever do at 20. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2001, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-walker-taliban-warrior/96643/11 "2001-12-03T18:50:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Hoe \* > \*\*What kind of a jackass fights FOR the filthy, murderous Americans? \*\* My father, my uncle, and both my grandparents. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2001, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-walker-taliban-warrior/96643/12 "2001-12-03T19:03:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bluepony \* > **Well, the cool part about it is that we don’t have to shell out for an interpreter when they haul his ass before a tribunal.** If he’s an American citizen, the tribunal doesn’t apply to him. He’d get a court case. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2001, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-walker-taliban-warrior/96643/13 "2001-12-03T19:06:43Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by Michael Ellis \* \*\* > [@](#): > > both my grandparents. > \*\* That should be ‘grandfathers’, actually. Damn. ---
**Author:** ![CRorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CRorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CRorex)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2001, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-walker-taliban-warrior/96643/14 "2001-12-03T20:12:29Z")
Jesus people, calm down. At least here was a person who had some convictions and fought for them. Yeah he’s on the immoral and wrong side of the issue but at least he believes in something. And I for one am going to enjoy thinking about the assrapings he’s gonna get in prison. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2001, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-walker-taliban-warrior/96643/15 "2001-12-03T20:22:16Z")
> [@](#): > > At least here was a person who had some convictions and fought for them. Yeah he’s on the immoral and wrong side of the issue but at least he believes in something. That’s ridiculous. Having bad convictions is far worse than having none at all. The world would have been a lot better off if Pol Pot, Stalin, Hitler, and Mao had lived aimless, unfulfilling lives without strong beliefs. The NYC skyline would look different if Mohammed Atta and his co-conspirators had had fewer strong beliefs. Hang John Walker. ---
**Author:** ![JustPlainBryan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/57b2e6/32.png) [@JustPlainBryan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustPlainBryan)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2001, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-walker-taliban-warrior/96643/16 "2001-12-03T20:37:26Z")
Maybe I’m the only one, but does anyone see this whole fiasco turn into a major motion picture? I mean we have all the elements for a 2006 summer blockbuster: A dark, evil, and ancient force (binLaden and the Taliban) A dark and terrible deed (9/11) The young man who chose the dark side (Walker) The young hero who dies a heroic death (Michael Spann, first American combat casualty in this war) The virtuous good guys (Since it’s a US movie, it will be us) Obligatory big explosions and bloody battle scenes(prisoner uprising at Mazar-e-Sharif and the bloodbath that will happen at Tora Bora) Bruce Willis as the American commander with an attitude and a tendency to do things his own way. Catherine Zeta Jones as the Afghan woman, trained in the martial arts, who captures his heart. Bill Cosby as Osama binLaden. and Tom Hanks in an Oscar winning role as John Walker. ---
**Author:** ![Hoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e68b1a/32.png) [@Hoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoe)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2001, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-walker-taliban-warrior/96643/17 "2001-12-03T20:40:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by gobear \* > \*\* > That’s ridiculous. Having bad convictions is far worse than having none at all. The world would have been a lot better off if Pol Pot, Stalin, Hitler, and Mao had lived aimless, unfulfilling lives without strong beliefs. > Hang John Walker. \*\* Having no convictions is worse. If the people of 1932 Germany had had any convictions he would not have risen to power. Look at America today. George Bush is stripping you of your rights and assuming total power. What do the American people do? NOTHING. They are willing to sacrifice their hard earned freedom, so THEY can feel safe. Rendering the constitution redundant. The American people have NO convictions. They have TELEVISION. As long as it flashes in forty fucking colors, THEY DON’T CARE. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2001, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-walker-taliban-warrior/96643/18 "2001-12-03T20:44:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Hoe \* > \*\*Having no convictions is worse. If the people of 1932 Germany had had any convictions he would not have risen to power. Look at America today. George Bush is stripping you of your rights and assuming total power. What do the American people do? NOTHING. They are willing to sacrifice their hard earned freedom, so THEY can feel safe. Rendering the constitution redundant. The American people have NO convictions. They have TELEVISION. As long as it flashes in forty fucking colors, THEY DON’T CARE. \*\* Hello Mr. Bin Laden, I’ve been, err…interested in your work for some time now… ---
**Author:** ![Fionn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Fionn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fionn)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2001, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-walker-taliban-warrior/96643/19 "2001-12-03T20:53:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Hoe \* > \*\* > Having no convictions is worse. If the people of 1932 Germany had had any convictions he would not have risen to power. Look at America today. George Bush is stripping you of your rights and assuming total power. What do the American people do? NOTHING. They are willing to sacrifice their hard earned freedom, so THEY can feel safe. Rendering the constitution redundant. The American people have NO convictions. They have TELEVISION. As long as it flashes in forty fucking colors, THEY DON’T CARE. \*\* Wow, I was under the impression that Americans have convictions, of many different stripes, and that there is considerable concern over the governmental actions taken since 9/11. Thank God Hoe, in his/her infinite wisdom, was here to set me straight. I would love to expound on my gratitude, but as an American I will whither if I’m away from the TV much longer. ---
**Author:** ![Hoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e68b1a/32.png) [@Hoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoe)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2001, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-walker-taliban-warrior/96643/20 "2001-12-03T20:53:59Z")
Why, thank you mister Ellis. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-walker-taliban-warrior/96643.md?page=2)