# JohnClay can't be gay! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 21, 2014, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-cant-be-gay/693652 "2014-07-21T08:27:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2014, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-cant-be-gay/693652/1 "2014-07-21T08:27:18Z")
On the way home I was thinking about a muscular butt and felt attracted to it. Then while watching TV my wife somehow knew that there was something on my mind. Eventually I confessed that I was planning on writing on the messageboards. Then I confessed that it was about that I might be a bit gay. My relatives and inlaws are basically just Christians - the type that think being gay is a sin. I said that the people on the boards probably wouldn’t mind though My wife said something about me having to break up with her if I was gay. She said how a friend of a friend got a divorce because the husband was gay. She also said that once she was attracted to a girl ten years older than her but never acted on it because the girl was married. I also told my wife that in the past a sister of mine asked if I was gay - also some of my friends turned out to be gay. And numerous times in my younger years guys and younger boys had tried to grab my crotch. One time was during wrestling while the whole class was watching. BTW I don’t really believe in God but I’m not really a supporter of gay marriage, etc. ---
**Author:** ![stui\_magpie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stui_magpie/32/11010_2.png) [@stui\_magpie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stui_magpie)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2014, 8:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-cant-be-gay/693652/2 "2014-07-21T08:32:51Z")
sorry to break it to you dude, but i think being gay is probably the least of the issues you have to deal with.😃 ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2014, 8:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-cant-be-gay/693652/3 "2014-07-21T08:34:32Z")
My wife said something about that it could wreck our marriage. When I said I was only about 1% gay she seemed ok. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2014, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-cant-be-gay/693652/4 "2014-07-21T08:35:33Z")
> [@stui\_magpie](#): > > sorry to break it to you dude, but i think being gay is probably the least of the issues you have to deal with.😃 Well from my wife’s point of view I think you’re wrong. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2014, 8:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-cant-be-gay/693652/5 "2014-07-21T08:47:42Z")
Never mind ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2014, 8:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-cant-be-gay/693652/6 "2014-07-21T08:47:47Z")
So you have eliminated the idea of bisexuality? You can go both ways, you know - it really is on the spectrum. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2014, 8:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-cant-be-gay/693652/7 "2014-07-21T08:49:49Z")
It’s a sliding scale. For example, I most certainly am not gay, but I’m okay with the male participation in the porn I consume (that may seem strange, but a lot of straight men do not like that at all and stick with solo or lesbian stuff). I also brush past the occasional “ladyboy” stuff and have weird thoughts about it. That’s about the closest I’d ever get, and only photographically, I doubt I’d like it in real life. That’d put me in the 20% gay range maybe, which, as inverted bell shaped curves go, isn’t anything for me to be concerned about. So when you think you’ve passed the 50% mark, then you might be onto something. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2014, 8:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-cant-be-gay/693652/8 "2014-07-21T08:51:07Z")
Sorry I told her that I might be bisexual… I forgot to mention that. Though she keeps on talking about being gay rather than bisexual. ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2014, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-cant-be-gay/693652/9 "2014-07-21T08:56:24Z")
I think almost everyone is a _bit_ gay: that is, they can, occasionally, be a bit turned on by the body of a member of their own sex. Don’t let it worry you (or your wife) though. If you are only only 1% gay, heck, if you are only 5, 10, even 15% gay, you are, to all practical intents, not gay, or no gayer (and no more bi) than everybody else. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2014, 9:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-cant-be-gay/693652/10 "2014-07-21T09:12:48Z")
A conversation we just had: “You’re not gay. Are you gay?” “No.” “Good.” ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2014, 10:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-cant-be-gay/693652/11 "2014-07-21T10:00:24Z")
That’s super, JohnClay. Say, do you have any interests, hobbies or opinions about subjects unrelated to sex, your relationship with your wife, mental illness or family issues? I mean, seriously, do you play chess, or collect stamps, or watch movies, or play video games, or go hiking, or dabble in photography, or host amazing dinner parties, or have a garden, or have political convictions that you feel strongly about, or feel nostalgic for a particular memory in your childhood, or anything, really? Because the relationship stuff is boring and it would be awesome if you talked about something else for a while. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2014, 10:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-cant-be-gay/693652/12 "2014-07-21T10:23:02Z")
> [@Eliahna](#): > > …the relationship stuff is boring and it would be awesome if you talked about something else for a while. I personally think whether I collect stamps or play chess, etc, is in fact more boring than my wife and mental illness, etc. No-one’s forcing you to read my threads. Also I have started quite a few threads on other topics. BTW I made a computer game and worked on it for a few years… > **[Lego Wolfenstein 3-D](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=724531)** > > I released Lego Wolf3D about 18 months ago. http://drdanick.com/legowolf3d/ Features: Dismemberment and blood (but unlike other Lego games the pieces never disappear) “Wolf Pack” (Wolfenstein Pacman) (outdated video) A nudity cheat: (but they... NO-ONE has replied to that thread. This suggests that people are more interested in my wife, etc, than my hobbies. ---
**Author:** ![Lucretia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/13edae/32.png) [@Lucretia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucretia)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2014, 10:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-cant-be-gay/693652/13 "2014-07-21T10:27:34Z")
People are interested in your wife, etc, the way they’re interested in highway car wrecks. They reply to those threads to either mock you, or offer sincere helpful advice that you will not take. Though to be fair, you probably are incapable of doing so. Given that…what is it, exactly, that you get out of starting these sorts of threads? ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2014, 10:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-cant-be-gay/693652/14 "2014-07-21T10:44:16Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > I personally think whether I collect stamps or play chess, etc, is in fact more boring than my wife and mental illness, etc. No-one’s forcing you to read my threads. Also I have started quite a few threads on other topics. > BTW I made a computer game and worked on it for a few years… > [Lego Wolfenstein 3-D - The Game Room - Straight Dope Message Board](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=724531) > > NO-ONE has replied to that thread. This suggests that people are more interested in my wife, etc, than my hobbies. I shouldn’t have said boring. It’s more… What’s a good way to describe it? Disrespectful of your wife, and way too personal. If she ever found these threads, I think she’d be devastated, and I couldn’t blame her if she left you over them. And you’ll probably say it’s ok, she’ll never find them, but the point is that they exist and they shouldn’t. You married the woman, so treat her with some respect and stop over-sharing. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2014, 11:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-cant-be-gay/693652/15 "2014-07-21T11:27:19Z")
All I can muster up today is one of these: :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2014, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-cant-be-gay/693652/16 "2014-07-21T12:16:10Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > I personally think whether I collect stamps or play chess, etc, is in fact more boring than my wife and mental illness, etc. No-one’s forcing you to read my threads. Also I have started quite a few threads on other topics. > BTW I made a computer game and worked on it for a few years… > [Lego Wolfenstein 3-D - The Game Room - Straight Dope Message Board](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=724531) > > NO-ONE has replied to that thread. This suggests that people are more interested in my wife, etc, than my hobbies. I remember that thread. I read your OP, and was impressed, but I’m not a gamer and it pretty much went over my head. I think it’s great that you are open with your wife; honesty is generally a good thing. But I’m not sure she can handle it, if you know what I mean. ---
**Author:** ![tapu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/49beb7/32.png) [@tapu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tapu)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2014, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-cant-be-gay/693652/17 "2014-07-21T12:20:07Z")
So does this mean your wife might be available soon? ~tapu, gay and knows it ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2014, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-cant-be-gay/693652/18 "2014-07-21T12:35:46Z")
You’re subscribing to the “any attention is good attention” concept. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2014, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-cant-be-gay/693652/19 "2014-07-21T12:46:22Z")
> [@Lucretia](#): > > [snip]Given that…what is it, exactly, that you get out of starting these sorts of threads? Attention ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2014, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-cant-be-gay/693652/20 "2014-07-21T13:42:54Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > BTW I don’t really believe in God but I’m not really a supporter of gay marriage, etc. Wait, what? If you don’t have a religious objection (something I find rather a cop-out anyway), why would it make a blind bit of difference to you whether gay folk get married or not? And what would be the “etc.” part? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-cant-be-gay/693652.md?page=2)