# JohnClay, if I might have a word... (not about dieting, I promise)

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-if-i-might-have-a-word-not-about-dieting-i-promise/752403>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [April 16, 2016, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-if-i-might-have-a-word-not-about-dieting-i-promise/752403 "2016-04-16T21:14:57Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\
**Post date:** [April 18, 2016, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-if-i-might-have-a-word-not-about-dieting-i-promise/752403/41 "2016-04-18T13:09:13Z")

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> [@JohnClay](#):
>
> See that everyone!? I’m “completely normal”! 😃

You might be.  
But the troll you play on the internet appears to be pretty fucked up.

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**Author:** ![watchwolf49](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e9c0ed/32.png) [@watchwolf49](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/watchwolf49)\
**Post date:** [April 18, 2016, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-if-i-might-have-a-word-not-about-dieting-i-promise/752403/42 "2016-04-18T23:10:07Z")

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[Sicilian Accent] Mensa? Morons, every last one of them [/Sicilian Accent]

Show me your Triple Nine card and I’ll raise an eyebrow, maybe.

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**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\
**Post date:** [April 18, 2016, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-if-i-might-have-a-word-not-about-dieting-i-promise/752403/43 "2016-04-18T23:26:43Z")

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> [@JohnClay](#):
>
> . Also another thing that makes me different from typical intelligent people is that mainly I’ve only been attracted to girls with below average academic performance.

Hahaha. Not so different there, john. 😃  
Admit it, you and **aceplace57** are one and the same. Right? It’s been one long, meta-trollery.

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**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\
**Post date:** [April 19, 2016, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-if-i-might-have-a-word-not-about-dieting-i-promise/752403/44 "2016-04-19T02:24:48Z")

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> [@JohnClay](#):
>
> When I did a communication subject at university they said that our essays should use as simple language as possible. I’m sure another word could have been used instead of “notwithstanding”. Though it makes your post seem more intelligent. I’m not even sure what that word means exactly. It seems it means “in spite of”. (perhaps you could have said “in spite of the evidence” or “despite the evidence”)

Thanks for the advice on how to write, John. You certainly like giving advice. I would have thought, however, that a Mensa-qualified prodigy such as yourself would be capable of recognizing intentionally stylized writing as a humorous device instead of reacting to it like a slack-jawed imbecile.

> [@JohnClay](#):
>
> Also another thing that makes me different from typical intelligent people …

You can stop right there. The major difference seen here between you and typical intelligent people is the inability to make even one intelligent post, at least that I’ve ever seen. Instead we get constant trolling, obsessive narcissism, dangerously bad advice-giving, requests from other posters to shut the fuck up, and instructions from moderators to stop the noted behavior.

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**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\
**Post date:** [April 19, 2016, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-if-i-might-have-a-word-not-about-dieting-i-promise/752403/45 "2016-04-19T06:04:34Z")

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> [@wolfpup](#):
>
> Thanks for the advice on how to write, John.

I detect sarcasm. I used to use sarcasm in real life but I don’t think it is a very healthy form of humour. I might be wrong of course.

> [@](#):
>
> You certainly like giving advice.

Lots of people on those boards give me advice as well. I haven’t given advice very often.

> [@](#):
>
> I would have thought, however, that a Mensa-qualified prodigy such as yourself would be capable of recognizing intentionally stylized writing as a humorous device instead of reacting to it like a slack-jawed imbecile.

Actually I am a mouth-breather. It seems “prodigy” is sarcastic. My claim is that I was considered the smartest guy in my high school year level and now I might be in the top 5% of the general public in some measures of intelligence. But within these fourms I might have below average intelligence.  
In this thread I wrote:  
**I was good at dealing with things that were clearly defined and quite simple in structure. BTW sometimes I get “second thoughts” later on so I can alter my thoughts from time to time. On the other hand I only really recognised the existence of banter and started to master it in my late 20’s. (That’s an example of something I didn’t come across in a book until very late in life)**

I consider your post to be a form of banter though the banter I’m used to is more obvious.  
I did say “I guess it gives your post more character” - so I did work out that trying to sound intelligent wasn’t the only purpose of using obscure words. BTW I wrote “perhaps you could have said…” in brackets. I was mainly reflecting on your use of words, not saying you had to change. I could list many examples of how I have been oblivious to the emotional/social implications of some things throughout my life.

> [@](#):
>
> You can stop right there. The major difference seen here between you and typical intelligent people is the inability to make even one intelligent post, at least that I’ve ever seen.

I think your definition of “intelligent” is different to mine. Perhaps you also mean that the post is sensible and you like it. Perhaps you can’t believe that a post you dislike contains intelligence.

> [@](#):
>
> Instead we get constant trolling, obsessive narcissism,

You seem to be saying that those types of posts (that I don’t necessarily have) are obviously not intelligent. But I think people with high IQ scores can sometimes make those types of posts.

> [@](#):
>
> dangerously bad advice-giving,

cite? If possible more than one cite?

> [@](#):
>
> requests from other posters to shut the fuck up,

Like I said “in one of my first physics classes my teacher was talking about the distance a tyre would travel based on its radius or something. I was saying in front of the class that wear and tear on the tyre could be taken into account since it would affect the radius.”  
Being annoying or pedantic doesn’t mean the person doesn’t have a high IQ score.

> [@](#):
>
> and instructions from moderators to stop the noted behavior.

Ok what you do think about this part of my post:

Hi here is a PHP function I made:

```auto

function getDropDown($name, $items) {
    $output = '<select name="'.$name.'">';
    foreach ($items as $key => $label) {
        $output .= '<option value="'.$key.'" ';
        if (isset($_REQUEST[$name]) && $key == $_REQUEST[$name]) {
            $output .= 'selected="selected"';
        }
        $output .= '>'.$label.'</option>';
    }
    $output .= '</select>';
    return $output;
}

```

Perhaps it contains some bad practice techniques but I thought you’d agree that it also involves some intelligence.

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**Author:** ![crowmanyclouds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crowmanyclouds/32/19884_2.png) [@crowmanyclouds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crowmanyclouds)\
**Post date:** [April 19, 2016, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-if-i-might-have-a-word-not-about-dieting-i-promise/752403/46 "2016-04-19T07:19:49Z")

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> [@JohnClay](#):
>
> I detect sarcasm. I used to use sarcasm in real life but I don’t think it is a very healthy form of humour. I might be wrong of course. {…}

Sarcasm is the leading cause of unsightly belly fat . . . and unseemly belly laughs.

CMC fnord!

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**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\
**Post date:** [April 19, 2016, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-if-i-might-have-a-word-not-about-dieting-i-promise/752403/47 "2016-04-19T07:44:01Z")

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BTW about sarcasm:

> **[The Surprising Benefits of Sarcasm](http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-surprising-benefits-of-sarcasm/)**
>
> Sarcastic comments boost creativity, a study finds

> [@](#):
>
> “Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit but the highest form of intelligence,” wrote that connoisseur of wit, Oscar Wilde…  
> …Other research has show that sarcasm can be easily misinterpreted, particularly when communicated electronically…

BTW in the Big Bang Theory TV show, Sheldon often doesn’t “get” sarcasm yet he is considered very intelligent.

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**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\
**Post date:** [April 19, 2016, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-if-i-might-have-a-word-not-about-dieting-i-promise/752403/48 "2016-04-19T07:53:27Z")

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BTW. I like to say BTW, it’s fun to say. BTW, my wife is very below average in every way. BTW, I think I can make milk come out of my nipples. BTW, I told a guy he’d look better if he shaved his head. He didn’t seem to appreciate my advice.

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**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\
**Post date:** [April 19, 2016, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-if-i-might-have-a-word-not-about-dieting-i-promise/752403/49 "2016-04-19T12:59:17Z")

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**bobkitty,** you had to mention the moobs, didn’t you. FOR THE LOVE OF FROGS, WHYYYYYYY??? \*\*Bad kitty!  
\*\*

> [@Stringbean](#):
>
> Having not read the thread in question and based solely on this pitting …

I assure you, I have given your post all the consideration it is due.

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**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\
**Post date:** [April 19, 2016, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-if-i-might-have-a-word-not-about-dieting-i-promise/752403/50 "2016-04-19T13:03:26Z")

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> [@flatlined](#):
>
> Dude. I took the Mensa test and qualified. I used to set the kitchen on fire on a regular basis. A fire happened during a cooking class. I know how to safely handle feral cats, but once got bitten by a little barky dog I was trying to get out of the road during traffic. Doing well on written tests means nothing when it comes to real life applications.

Sounds like one of my sisters. Very smart woman, could probably burn ice cubes. 🙂

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**Author:** ![watchwolf49](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e9c0ed/32.png) [@watchwolf49](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/watchwolf49)\
**Post date:** [April 19, 2016, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-if-i-might-have-a-word-not-about-dieting-i-promise/752403/51 "2016-04-19T15:03:29Z")

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If one has to claim to be intelligent, then they probably aren’t … just saying …

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**Author:** ![Subterraneanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Subterraneanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Subterraneanus)\
**Post date:** [April 19, 2016, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-if-i-might-have-a-word-not-about-dieting-i-promise/752403/52 "2016-04-19T15:59:22Z")

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> [@Stringbean](#):
>
> …There must be more I am missing…

You should assume this at all times.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\
**Post date:** [April 19, 2016, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-if-i-might-have-a-word-not-about-dieting-i-promise/752403/53 "2016-04-19T16:09:29Z")

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> [@Azeotrope](#):
>
> **bobkitty,** you had to mention the moobs, didn’t you. FOR THE LOVE OF FROGS, WHYYYYYYY??? \*\*Bad kitty!  
> \*\*

Yeah, that was my bad. 😃

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**Author:** ![BeeGee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5a626/32.png) [@BeeGee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BeeGee)\
**Post date:** [April 19, 2016, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-if-i-might-have-a-word-not-about-dieting-i-promise/752403/54 "2016-04-19T17:44:09Z")

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> [@JohnClay](#):
>
> I think I’m in at least the top 5% and I qualified for Mensa which is apparently for the top 2% of people.

And yet you think clinical depression is “cured” by getting a lover. Dude, you may have a high IQ, but you sure as hell ain’t using it.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\
**Post date:** [April 19, 2016, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-if-i-might-have-a-word-not-about-dieting-i-promise/752403/55 "2016-04-19T22:00:33Z")

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> [@BeeGee](#):
>
> And yet you think clinical depression is “cured” by getting a lover. Dude, you may have a high IQ, but you sure as hell ain’t using it.

That was the case for me not necessarily other people. BTW my depression started a little while after I became an atheist.

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**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\
**Post date:** [April 19, 2016, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-if-i-might-have-a-word-not-about-dieting-i-promise/752403/56 "2016-04-19T22:10:54Z")

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> [@watchwolf49](#):
>
> If one has to claim to be intelligent, then they probably aren’t … just saying …

By “intelligent” I mean I was considered to be the smartest guy in my year level. On these forums I might have below average intelligence.

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**Author:** ![Stringbean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Stringbean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stringbean)\
**Post date:** [April 19, 2016, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-if-i-might-have-a-word-not-about-dieting-i-promise/752403/57 "2016-04-19T23:14:40Z")

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> [@Subterraneanus](#):
>
> You should assume this at all times.

Just cite the terrible fucked-up things he has said and I’ll jump on board. The OP just cited opinions on a matter of someone’s depression. Maybe the airplane riff was over-the-top, I’ll admit. But it raises the point that having to _choose_ to live is critical to overcoming depression. Depression is most accurately described not as “sadness” but as chronic apathy. Falling from a plane at 30,000 feet, you are forced to choose to pull the 'chute or not. That’s insightful if also a bit off-color.

Let’s see the REALLY FUCKED UP SHIT he posted and I’ll get on board with the pitting.

Or insult my intelligence and high-five your bro’s. That’s insightful also.

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**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\
**Post date:** [April 19, 2016, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-if-i-might-have-a-word-not-about-dieting-i-promise/752403/58 "2016-04-19T23:21:14Z")

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NM

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\
**Post date:** [April 19, 2016, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-if-i-might-have-a-word-not-about-dieting-i-promise/752403/59 "2016-04-19T23:30:20Z")

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> [@Stringbean](#):
>
> Just cite the terrible fucked-up things he has said and I’ll jump on board. The OP just cited opinions on a matter of someone’s depression. Maybe the airplane riff was over-the-top, I’ll admit. But it raises the point that having to _choose_ to live is critical to overcoming depression. Depression is most accurately described not as “sadness” but as chronic apathy. Falling from a plane at 30,000 feet, you are forced to choose to pull the 'chute or not. That’s insightful if also a bit off-color.
> 
> Let’s see the REALLY FUCKED UP SHIT he posted and I’ll get on board with the pitting.
> 
> Or insult my intelligence and high-five your bro’s. That’s insightful also.

You know not of which you speak.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\
**Post date:** [April 19, 2016, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-if-i-might-have-a-word-not-about-dieting-i-promise/752403/60 "2016-04-19T23:39:00Z")

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> [@Stringbean](#):
>
> Just cite the terrible fucked-up things he has said and I’ll jump on board.

Click on his name and look at the threads he’s started. You’ll see why he’s banned from posting about his wife and dieting, for example.

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