# JohnClay, if I might have a word... (not about dieting, I promise) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 16, 2016, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-if-i-might-have-a-word-not-about-dieting-i-promise/752403 "2016-04-16T21:14:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2016, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-if-i-might-have-a-word-not-about-dieting-i-promise/752403/101 "2016-04-25T07:52:54Z")
> [@Stringbean](#): > > I’d honestly just prefer another lesson in high-altitude pressure dynamics. > > I must have been absent the day we covered it in third grade since this is all common knowledge. Just curious. What’s your final position on the overall relevancy of a **JC** Pitting? Good? Bad? Deserved? Who the fuck gives a fuck? ---
**Author:** ![Stringbean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Stringbean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stringbean)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2016, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-if-i-might-have-a-word-not-about-dieting-i-promise/752403/102 "2016-04-25T23:06:47Z")
I’m more horrified by his singing than any cited post of his. Supposedly, he has said some horrible things worthy of a pitting. For some reason, the sanctimonious peanut gallery here can’t provide cites. But they love to nitpick grammar and the scientific accuracy of hypothetical advice being given by some random person’s dad. /shrug ---
**Author:** ![Subterraneanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Subterraneanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Subterraneanus)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2016, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-if-i-might-have-a-word-not-about-dieting-i-promise/752403/103 "2016-04-27T01:44:51Z")
> [@Stringbean](#): > > I’m more horrified by his singing than any cited post of his. > > Supposedly, he has said some horrible things worthy of a pitting. For some reason, the sanctimonious peanut gallery here can’t provide cites. But they love to nitpick grammar and the scientific accuracy of hypothetical advice being given by some random person’s dad. > > /shrug Read the thread, you dumb fucking stupid. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2016, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-if-i-might-have-a-word-not-about-dieting-i-promise/752403/104 "2016-04-27T07:49:53Z")
Stringbean is asking for quotes from the depression thread: > **[Entering a depression.](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=790451)** > > I’m so sorry I keep posting here about this. But for some reason I don’t know where else to go. I just feel like I keep sinking deeper in. The theme is that for some reason…I’m unlovable. And despite all my efforts in life…that’s just what I am.... The OP quoted this as a problem: > [@](#): > > My friend’s dad recommended skydiving as a treatment for depression. The OP’s response was: **“(And my grandmother recommended a slug of whiskey to quiet a teething baby. Administered to the baby, not the mother.)”** Perhaps their point is that the advice is bad but it was given from a third-party. For the next quote they said: **“(“OHAI chance to talk about myself and prove why everyone else on the dope thinks I’m a creepy, annoying, self-absorbed fuck! Also I’m an expert on relationships because I have an available vagina.”)”** That doesn’t prove that my advice is bad… **“(Sugarbeet, I wouldn’t trust you to diagnose King Tut’s mummy with death, let alone the root cause of someone’s depression.)”** They didn’t disprove that external validation could be an issue for the person. **“and basically accusing him of being a Nice Guy (in the not nice sense) in post 16.”** On the issue of being a nice guy: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=19276731&postcount=79](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=19276731&postcount=79) > [@actualliberalnotoneofthose](#): > > …it’s true that seeking external validation can be an unhealthy issue and that “nice guys” tend to allow themselves to be defined by bad relationships, etc… In post 44 wolfpup accused me of “dangerously bad advice-giving” but where in the depression thread (or some other thread) is that dangerously bad advice? ---
**Author:** ![Damuri\_Ajashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Damuri\_Ajashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Damuri_Ajashi)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2016, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-if-i-might-have-a-word-not-about-dieting-i-promise/752403/105 "2016-04-27T14:24:04Z")
> [@Stringbean](#): > > Having not read the thread in question and based solely on this pitting I see very little to warrant the animosity toward **JohnClay**. There must be more I am missing as his advice is not far out of the mainstream spectrum of psychological thought regarding depression. And he seems to speak from personal experience dealing with depression, which ought to give him some measure of credibility over everyone here piling shit on him. > > I need to see the CRAZY-HOLY-F\*\*\*-WHAT-DID-HE-JUST-SAY to consider this pitting justified. Cite please. I agree, this just doesn’t seem to justify a pitting. Quasimodal is going to hear much worse advice on talk radio and just about anywhere else. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2016, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-if-i-might-have-a-word-not-about-dieting-i-promise/752403/106 "2016-04-27T18:17:26Z")
> [@Damuri\_Ajashi](#): > > Quasimodal is going to hear much worse advice on talk radio and just about anywhere else. You might have hit on an inspiring new motto for the board: “Might be better than talk radio”. When it comes to setting high standards of intelligent discourse, “aim for the stars” is what I always say! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Stringbean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Stringbean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stringbean)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2016, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-if-i-might-have-a-word-not-about-dieting-i-promise/752403/107 "2016-04-27T23:36:18Z")
> [@Subterraneanus](#): > > Read the thread, you dumb fucking stupid. Lel. Just hit “Reply” and cite the bat-shit posts of **JohnClay** you deem worthy of this Pitting. Don’t send a link to a 10-page thread and say “read the thread.” That’s lazy trash. There are other dumb fucking stupids in here who haven’t been convinced yet. Do us all a favor and cite the specific posts that prove **JohnClay** worthy of this Pitting. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2016, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-if-i-might-have-a-word-not-about-dieting-i-promise/752403/108 "2016-04-27T23:46:31Z")
Hey **JohnClay** , I was putting together a long reply to try and show you exactly where your comments come across as self-absorbed and completely tone deaf. I decided that it was likely pointless. Short version: Don’t tell depressed people to jump out of airplanes. It will be seen as a very morbid joke that implies they should just go ahead and kill themselves. Don’t tell someone that has lost a serious relationship that, wow, _you_ have a serious relationship and it’s super-sparkle-fun time awesome. This is the advice equivalent of kicking someone when they’re down. Whether you meant it or not, your posts in that thread were spiteful and mean-spirited. Continuing to question why other people see them that way is either trolling or reveals a complete lack of understanding about social interactions. Please stop being an asshole and leave relationship advice alone. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2016, 8:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-if-i-might-have-a-word-not-about-dieting-i-promise/752403/109 "2016-04-28T08:12:27Z")
Accidental phone post ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2016, 9:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-if-i-might-have-a-word-not-about-dieting-i-promise/752403/110 "2016-04-28T09:37:59Z")
> [@ddsun](#): > > …Short version: > > Don’t tell depressed people to jump out of airplanes. It will be seen as a very morbid joke that implies they should just go ahead and kill themselves. My friend’s dad happened to be talking about it while I was browsing the thread. I thought it was relevant but I guess I didn’t put much thought into it. As far as what it implies, Trinopus and Stringbean didn’t agree: > [@Trinopus](#): > > Actually, skydiving might be an effective (short term) treatment for depression… > [@ddsun](#): > > Don’t tell someone that has lost a serious relationship that, wow, _you_ have a serious relationship and it’s super-sparkle-fun time awesome. This is the advice equivalent of kicking someone when they’re down. In post 13 I wrote: **" …I didn’t even hold a girl’s hand until I was about 28 and now I’ve been happily married to that girl for 3.5 years…I don’t let that bring me down anymore because I’ve got a lover. I know you don’t but I’m sure you will soon"** See that last part? I am saying that since I was able to find my partner despite having zero dating history he should surely be able to since he does have a better history. > [@](#): > > Whether you meant it or not, your posts in that thread were spiteful and mean-spirited. Continuing to question why other people see them that way is either trolling or reveals a complete lack of understanding about social interactions. > > Please stop being an asshole and leave relationship advice alone. Only the second part of your post was relevant to relationship advice (not the sky-diving comment). On that topic: > [@actualliberalnotoneofthose](#): > > …found that his thoughts had substance and were meant to be helpful. John Gottman is a pretty standard suggestion from qualified therapists, and it’s true that seeking external validation can be an unhealthy issue and that “nice guys” tend to allow themselves to be defined by bad relationships, etc. > > I also see people attacking him for having his own anxiety and relationship issues, as if that makes him a bad person or unqualified to comment on such matters. If anything, I think naturally happy and well-adjusted people who don’t have difficulties with socialization or healthy relationships really have no perspective about what it’s like to have those issues and typically offer counter-productive suggestions because they are offering advice from the perspective of someone with health self-esteem, confidence, boundary setting, etc, and such advice only works for people with that foundation. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2016, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-if-i-might-have-a-word-not-about-dieting-i-promise/752403/111 "2016-04-28T14:04:57Z")
> [@ddsun](#): > > Hey **JohnClay** , I was putting together a long reply to try and show you exactly where your comments come across as self-absorbed and completely tone deaf. I decided that it was likely pointless. > > (snip) > > Please stop being an asshole and leave relationship advice alone. I can’t decide if he’s simply an asshole or a troll. Poe’s law and all that. My money in on troll, but I know plenty of really crazy people IRL, so who knows. But, you were right, it’s pointless. If he’s a troll, then we’re feeding him and if he’s that self-absorbed then nothing we can do or say will change him. ---
**Author:** ![Subterraneanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Subterraneanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Subterraneanus)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2016, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-if-i-might-have-a-word-not-about-dieting-i-promise/752403/112 "2016-04-28T15:24:35Z")
> [@Stringbean](#): > > Lel. > > Just hit “Reply” and cite the bat-shit posts of **JohnClay** you deem worthy of this Pitting. > > Don’t send a link to a 10-page thread and say “read the thread.” That’s lazy trash. > > There are other dumb fucking stupids in here who haven’t been convinced yet. Do us all a favor and cite the specific posts that prove **JohnClay** worthy of this Pitting. You’re so stupid. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2016, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-if-i-might-have-a-word-not-about-dieting-i-promise/752403/113 "2016-04-29T06:20:38Z")
> [@TokyoBayer](#): > > I can’t decide if he’s simply an asshole or a troll… Besides me mentioning my friend’s dad’s comment about skydiving without thinking it through very thoroughly I don’t think I was an “asshole” in that depression thread. When ddsun said “This is the advice equivalent of kicking someone when they’re down” he didn’t notice when I said in that post “I know you [the depressed guy] don’t [have a lover] but I’m sure you will soon”. > [@actualliberalnotoneofthose](#): > > Meh. I found a lot of JohnClay’s posts rather annoying in the past, but I agree with a lot of what he said in the cited pitting, or at least found that his thoughts had substance and were meant to be helpful… “Meant to be helpful” means I’m not trying to be an asshole. On the other hand I am sometimes an asshole to my wife as a form of “cocky comedy”. But then sometimes she overpowers me and says “stop hitting yourself”. At least she doesn’t do that too often though. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2016, 10:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-if-i-might-have-a-word-not-about-dieting-i-promise/752403/114 "2016-04-30T10:13:07Z")
A heads up - I gave the guy more advice: (though it is partly repeated) [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=19295911&postcount=30](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=19295911&postcount=30) [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=19295912&postcount=31](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=19295912&postcount=31) ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2016, 10:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-if-i-might-have-a-word-not-about-dieting-i-promise/752403/115 "2016-04-30T10:27:20Z")
I fixed the Wikipedia link and added a bit more here: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=19295915&postcount=32](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=19295915&postcount=32) ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2016, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-if-i-might-have-a-word-not-about-dieting-i-promise/752403/116 "2016-05-01T04:54:26Z")
> [@One week update...I'm ok so far](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/one-week-update-im-ok-so-far/752859/27): > > …I switched my eating to a ketosis diet to lose some weight. It’s working…but now I have whats called the keto-flu (flu like symptoms whilemy body adapts). I feel like shit physically and somewhat shitty emotionally. I’m also currently having a ketogenic diet! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2017, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-if-i-might-have-a-word-not-about-dieting-i-promise/752403/117 "2017-01-30T17:10:22Z")
[I think he’s back.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=817669) Yes, I did report my suspicion. ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2017, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-if-i-might-have-a-word-not-about-dieting-i-promise/752403/118 "2017-01-30T17:37:54Z")
> [@Skywatcher](#): > > [I think he’s back.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=817669) > > Yes, I did report my suspicion. Nothing more commendable than snitching on someone for absolutely no good reason, Skywatcher Trump. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2017, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-if-i-might-have-a-word-not-about-dieting-i-promise/752403/119 "2017-01-30T18:05:04Z")
**4kad** just joined and very quickly got fixated on dieting and food. ISTM that combined with the posting style in the linked thread are good reasons to suspect a **JC** sock. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2017, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-if-i-might-have-a-word-not-about-dieting-i-promise/752403/120 "2017-01-30T19:06:54Z")
That isn’t any reason to bring back the Pit thread on him. Dude was banned because his mental illness was so bad that the mods thought it was unhealthy for him to post here. Even if it is him, he doesn’t need this shit started up again. The mods can take care of it. They made their bed in allowing themselves to ban someone who didn’t break any of the rules, and now they have to deal with it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-if-i-might-have-a-word-not-about-dieting-i-promise/752403.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnclay-if-i-might-have-a-word-not-about-dieting-i-promise/752403.md?page=7)