# Johnny Depp **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 22, 2022, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnny-depp/966652 "2022-06-22T19:34:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2022, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnny-depp/966652/1 "2022-06-22T19:34:57Z")
I like Johnny Depp but no matter how hard my girlfriend tries she will never turn me into Johnny Depp. I am not saying anything because I am curious how far she will go but her obsession is starting wear on me. She told me today she ordered me Johnny Depp Cologne?? And the other day she told me when I slow down my speech a little I sound just like him, could I make it a point to try and talk a little slower! What the fuck!! ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2022, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnny-depp/966652/2 "2022-06-22T19:39:56Z")
Do you ever wake up wearing eyeliner? ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2022, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnny-depp/966652/3 "2022-06-22T19:42:12Z")
She wanted to put some on me a couple of weeks ago because jack sparrow looked so hot with it on. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2022, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnny-depp/966652/4 "2022-06-22T19:42:18Z")
Any guitars in your living room? ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2022, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnny-depp/966652/5 "2022-06-22T19:43:28Z")
As a matter of fact I am refinishing one for her son, I don’t think there is a connection here though. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2022, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnny-depp/966652/6 "2022-06-22T19:47:05Z")
> [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > but no matter how hard my girlfriend tries she will never turn me into Johnny Depp. Wow. My wife is happy if I just shower daily. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2022, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnny-depp/966652/7 "2022-06-22T19:49:11Z")
I Heard that. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2022, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnny-depp/966652/8 "2022-06-22T19:51:01Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > ever wake up wearing eyeliner? A friend of mine works with graphite. Even though he showers before leaving work, he usually doesn’t get all the graphite off, especially where eyeliner would be. The first time I noticed it I was really creeped out. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2022, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnny-depp/966652/9 "2022-06-22T19:53:04Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > A friend of mine works with graphite. Even though he showers before leaving work, he usually doesn’t get all the graphite off, especially where eyeliner would be. > > The first time I noticed it I was really creeped out I am a diesel mechanic by trade, very much the same as working on the exhaust system on truck when I have to use an air blower, looks just like eyeliner. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2022, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnny-depp/966652/10 "2022-06-22T20:34:12Z")
> [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > I like Johnny Depp but no matter how hard my girlfriend tries she will never turn me into Johnny Depp. I am not saying anything because I am curious how far she will go but her obsession is starting wear on me. She told me today she ordered me Johnny Depp Cologne?? And the other day she told me when I slow down my speech a little I sound just like him, could I make it a point to try and talk a little slower! What the fuck!! I’m mostly ambivalent about Mr. Depp, but I am a little concerned about anyone who sees him and thinks “I want to smell like _that_ guy.” ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2022, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnny-depp/966652/11 "2022-06-22T20:36:03Z")
You better keep her happy, or she might drop a deuce on your side of the bed! ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2022, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnny-depp/966652/12 "2022-06-22T20:46:57Z")
[Go for it just go easy on the gewgaws!](https://tomandlorenzo.com/2017/05/johnny-depp-at-the-pirates-of-the-caribbean-dead-men-tell-no-tales-shanghai-premiere/) _We imagine years ago, when he was smooth and poreless, when it seemed like all of the girls and some of the boys sighed over his pout and forelock, and he put on his first couple of chains and gewgaws, he must’ve made tinkling sound when he walked, like a wood fairy or something. Later, as the jewelry piled up concurrently with the affectations, he started sounding more like a windchime._ _Now, he must sound like a box of pots and pans being thrown down a flight of steps._ ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2022, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnny-depp/966652/13 "2022-06-22T21:03:15Z")
He looks like the kind of guy who uses crystals instead of underarm deodorant. ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2022, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnny-depp/966652/14 "2022-06-22T21:05:15Z")
Tell her that if this is going to work you must begin drinking $30,000 a month worth of wine. > **[Johnny Depp Allegedly Spent $30,000 a Month on Wine According to New Lawsuit](https://www.etonline.com/media/videos/johnny_depp_allegedly_spent_30_000_a_month_on_wine_according_to_new_lawsuit-209177)** > > Depp is locked in a legal battle with his former managers over why his money is disappearing. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2022, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnny-depp/966652/15 "2022-06-22T21:41:00Z")
> [@Mollie\_Magill](#): > > He looks like the kind of guy who uses crystals instead of underarm deodorant. And believes that bathing damages his natural animal musk. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2022, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnny-depp/966652/16 "2022-06-22T22:41:07Z")
[quote=“Alessan, post:15, topic:966652”] musk [/quote] that’s actually very scientific that is actually scientific ---
**Author:** ![ArtBeforeScience](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@ArtBeforeScience](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArtBeforeScience)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2022, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnny-depp/966652/17 "2022-06-23T16:06:52Z")
Is there some actor that you’d like for her to emulate? Turnabout is fair play. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2022, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnny-depp/966652/18 "2022-06-23T16:08:13Z")
> [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > She told me today she ordered me Johnny Depp Cologne?? Sausage? Sorry, I mean _Sauvage_. 😃 [![](https://preview.redd.it/9lzq7gkooi301.jpg?auto=webp&s=9a9e7e6c35f6c6a203fcfd8a482f9b43c693e118) ](https://preview.redd.it/9lzq7gkooi301.jpg?auto=webp&s=9a9e7e6c35f6c6a203fcfd8a482f9b43c693e118) ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2022, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnny-depp/966652/19 "2022-06-23T16:11:20Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > > [@Mollie\_Magill](#): > > > > He looks like the kind of guy who uses crystals instead of underarm deodorant. > > And believes that bathing damages his natural animal musk. Well, Rasputin had no problem attracting women with his “natural musk”. There would probably be a market for Rasputin Cologne. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2022, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnny-depp/966652/20 "2022-06-23T16:23:26Z")
> [@ArtBeforeScience](#): > > Turnabout is fair play Maybe Betty White [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnny-depp/966652.md?page=2)