# Johnny was the "real" Karate Kid **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 27, 2015, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnny-was-the-real-karate-kid/729012 "2015-08-27T02:37:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnny-was-the-real-karate-kid/729012/41 "2015-08-29T01:49:54Z")
> [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](#): > > You mean the Darth Vader who was incompetently introduced to “The Force” by an inept and ultimately dishonest teacher (and instigator of the clone slave armies of the Republic which morphed into the legions of Imperial stormtroopers) who eventually maimed him and left him for dead after being submerged in lava but failed to finishing him off with a mercy kill? Darth Vader is a patsy, taken from his mother and homeworld, trained from childhood to be a vicious sociopathic killer using an archaic weapon which severs limbs and cauterizes wounds so the killer can extend the victim’s pain, and oh by the way being molested as a barely pubescent boy by a woman at least ten years his senior. > > As for _The Karate kid_, there is some pretty damning evidence that “Mr. Miyagi” was not the simple son of a farmer he pretended to be, and in fact may have been a Japanese war criminal hiding from persecution. The fact that he “trained” Daniel-san to the point of being able to take on a much larger and more skilled opponent with just a few sessions of “wax on/wax off” suggests that Miyagi may have been providing some additional chemical enhancements in that “Okinawan green tea” he served; likely a cocktail of methamphetimines, dopamines, nerve blocks, and high potency methylxanthine compounds designed to make Daniel resistant to pain and hyperactive, with side effects to perception, memory, and emotional response. > > Given that the story is told essentially from Daniel-san’s chemically altered perception, who knows how much of e supposed bullying was actually playful kidding and joking intended by Johnny and his friends to just welcome him to the neighborhood. The film is a pure fantasy told from the perspective of an alienated child of an absent father who imagines his persecution at the hands of ridiculously overstated bullying. Certainly the behavior of the dojo owner is nothing like what any serious business owner and adult would risk putting himself in criminal and civil liability just to mess with some random kid, any more than a school principal would spend a day searching around Chicago for “Ferris” Bueller. And let’s face it, there is no way that Ralph Macchio is going to end up with a mid-Eighties Elizabeth Shue. Michael J. Fox is enough of a stretch, but the scrawned, angey, bitter kid from Brooklyn getting the classic Southern California blonde who could have her choice of suitors? That’s about as implausible as that same kid having a night school lawyer who turns out to be an expert in te practice of criminal law in rural Alabama. > > Stranger Clap clap clap. ---
**Author:** ![standingwave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@standingwave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/standingwave)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnny-was-the-real-karate-kid/729012/42 "2015-08-29T01:52:23Z")
> [@Enderw24](#): > > Danny? Johnny? You guys both have it wrong. > > The Karate Kid is about Kesuke Miyagi, an immigrant who fought against his own people in World War II, while his wife lost a child in an internment camp. Noriyuki Morita was nominated for an Academy Award for his performance. Ralph Macchio? William Zabka? They showed up. The 442nd didn’t fight in the Pacific. Guess the powers that be were afraid that they’d forget whose side they were on.\* "Sergeant Miyagi! "Yes, sir! Sergeant Miyagi reporting. **Killed many Jerry Germans** , sir. "Sergeant Miyagi. "Yes, sir. “Regret to inform… wife have complications at birth.” Complications. No doctor came. Land of free, home of brave. No doctor came. \* ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnny-was-the-real-karate-kid/729012/43 "2015-08-29T02:50:17Z")
> [@Enderw24](#): > > Danny? Johnny? You guys both have it wrong. > > The Karate Kid is about Kesuke Miyagi, an immigrant who fought against his own people in World War II, while his wife lost a child in an internment camp. Noriyuki Morita was nominated for an Academy Award for his performance. Ralph Macchio? William Zabka? They showed up. You want to maybe give credit where it’s due on that joke? ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnny-was-the-real-karate-kid/729012/44 "2015-08-30T05:54:19Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > You want to maybe give credit where it’s due on that joke? Nah, I’m greatly enjoying being berated for not knowing my history by a guy who thought Truman Capote lecturing Peter Sellers who used every racial fu-Manchu stereotype short of slurping chow mein was somehow a documentary. Ok, ok. For the record, it was Community: [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/UWse86dPqiY/maxresdefault.jpg "Community Karate Kid Mr Miyagi Scene") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWse86dPqiY) ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnny-was-the-real-karate-kid/729012/45 "2015-08-30T18:01:51Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > Henry Kissinger still has a thick accent after decades in America. So does Arnold Schwarzenegger. > > Some immigrants lose their accents, some don’t. You guys are all talking like Tonto, who most definitely _wasn’t_ an immigrant. Discuss. Or don’t. Just feeling silly. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/johnny-was-the-real-karate-kid/729012.md?page=2)