# Join me in listing the Man Rules. Also the Guy Rules. Extra points for distinguishing between them. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 6, 2010, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736 "2010-11-06T21:53:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2010, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/1 "2010-11-06T21:53:28Z")
I listed them both because they are not synonymous. _Man Rules_ are primarily ethical. _Guy Rules_ are purely practical. For instance, “Never hit a man when he has more friends in sight than you do” is a Guy Rule. “Treat every woman you are dating exactly as you want guys dating your beloved little sister to treat her” is a Man Rule. “Never hit on your best friend’s ex until he has at least two other exes in between, or is married, and even then you had best give it some serious thought first” is both. As the above shows, the mere presence of the word _guy_ or _man_ in the text of the rule does not indicate which category it falls into. And before anyone asks, of course gay men can contribute. So can women. Only Etruscans are forbidden. Anyone? Bueller? ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2010, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/2 "2010-11-06T22:00:28Z")
Never hit a woman unless she swings first. Man rule. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2010, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/3 "2010-11-06T22:03:01Z")
Don’t mess with another man’s vehicle. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2010, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/4 "2010-11-06T22:03:28Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > Don’t mess with another man’s vehicle. You didn’t specify Man Rule or Guy Rule. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2010, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/5 "2010-11-06T22:12:58Z")
Never foul another man’s attempt to chat up a member of his preferred sex without good cause, and assist him when it is reasonably practical to do so. (For example - “Dude, that girl was checking you out.”) This is a Man Rule and Guy Rule both - while sound practical advice (as it encourages reciprocity), it also ties into the ethical premise that all men are brothers, and should treat each other as such. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2010, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/6 "2010-11-06T22:19:38Z")
> [@Mr.Excellent](#): > > Never foul another man’s attempt to chat up a member of his preferred sex without good cause, and assist him when it is reasonably practical to do so. (For example - “Dude, that girl was checking you out.”) This is a Man Rule and Guy Rule both - while sound practical advice (as it encourages reciprocity), it also ties into the ethical premise that all men are brothers, and should treat each other as such. Can’t be a Man Rule, as it makes no allowances for a known asshole chatting up your best platonic female friend whom you are 45% in love with but have resolved never to make advances because you know she is self-destructive when it comes to men, but nevertheless you still want her to be happy and safe and thus wheny you see Benny Jargoldson whom you know for a fact cheated on his last girlfriend and the took the one before that to the emergency room after she repeatedly hit the “door” with her face and now she has a restaining order against him but nonetheless he has that bad boy thing going on that some women like for mysterious reasons. You’re required to at least warn the BPFF, **even if she will be incensed and not talk to you for a month**. The Man Rules are frequently annoying but they help when it’s time to shave. ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2010, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/7 "2010-11-06T22:48:08Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Never hit a woman unless she swings first. Man rule. Never hit a woman unless; she’s standing between you and the only door (& even do nothing besides shove her out of the way), or she’s refusing to get into a lifeboat. Man rule. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2010, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/8 "2010-11-06T23:06:06Z")
Don’t start up conversations with the guy at the next urinal. Guy rule. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2010, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/9 "2010-11-06T23:09:43Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > You didn’t specify Man Rule or Guy Rule. I didn’t care for the extra points. ---
**Author:** ![Lakai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9de0a6/32.png) [@Lakai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lakai)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2010, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/10 "2010-11-06T23:21:02Z")
All objects thrown to you must be caught. Guy Rule. When accidental contact with another guy’s privates occurs, it is understood to be an accident and should never be commented on, ever. Guy Rule. If you are going to eat a Banana, never bite slowly. Guy Rule. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2010, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/11 "2010-11-06T23:21:51Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Don’t start up conversations with the guy at the next urinal. Guy rule. Similarly: Occupy whichever urinal both allows the maximum separation from everyone already there and will allow the maximum separation from the next guy in. Ex: With 5 stalls, all unoccupied, go to 1 or 5. Next in goes to 5 or 1. Next in goes to 3. 2 and 4 may not be used until 1, 3 and 5 are all occupied. Guy rule. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2010, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/12 "2010-11-06T23:31:52Z")
> [@Lakai](#): > > All objects thrown to you must be caught. Guy Rule. Unless you are throwing the game so as to encourage your son or nephew. Man Rule. > [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > I didn’t care for the extra points. Etruscan! ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2010, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/13 "2010-11-06T23:40:17Z")
Advice given to me on my wedding day: “Never call her a bitch.” File this one under “Man Rule”. > [@Chefguy](#): > > Don’t start up conversations with the guy at the next urinal. Guy rule. Corollary: If there are no dividers, keep your eyes to yourself - don’t be staring at my junk. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2010, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/14 "2010-11-07T00:32:57Z")
Unless you’re in professional sports, don’t slap other guys on the ass. In fact, all of you knock it off altogether. Man rule. ---
**Author:** ![rbroome](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/838e76/32.png) [@rbroome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rbroome)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2010, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/15 "2010-11-07T01:04:48Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > Don’t mess with another man’s vehicle. Guy rule! I was in the hardware store a few years ago when I was suddently confronted by a tall, heavy and angry guy. It seems that when I opened the door to my little sedan in the parking lot, the door edge touched his very large truck. It left an almost imperceptable mark on the ridge of his door. I didn’t think I had done any damage and went into the store. Followed by the truck owner. The confrontation was pretty loud on his part. On my way out the young guys at the counter told each other-mess with another man’s wife but don’t EVER mess with a man’s truck. Neither the truck driver nor I could clearly see the mark on his truck and the driver didn’t take any insurance information. whew. ---
**Author:** ![Girl\_Next\_Door](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@Girl\_Next\_Door](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girl_Next_Door)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2010, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/16 "2010-11-07T01:47:21Z")
This is very educational. How would you rate this one I heard today? (Told by a man to his grown daughter as they were leaving IKEA): ‎"You don’t tell a man how to pack his car!" ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2010, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/17 "2010-11-07T01:49:27Z")
1. Don’t whine about how spicy-hot a food it. Guy rule? I think it is. 1. Don’t make a big deal about a minor injury while playing sports. Just deal with it. Guy rule. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2010, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/18 "2010-11-07T01:50:08Z")
> [@Girl\_Next\_Door](#): > > This is very educational. How would you rate this one I heard today? (Told by a man to his grown daughter as they were leaving IKEA): > > ‎"You don’t tell a man how to pack his car!" I’d not count that, as it could be the father telling the daughter what SHE may not do. Both Man Rules & Guy Rules are things human males tell other human males that they either must or must not do. ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2010, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/19 "2010-11-07T01:50:47Z")
Unhesitatingly take a bullet for your child. Guy Rule. Unhesitatingly take a bullet for any child. Man Rule. ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2010, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/20 "2010-11-07T01:55:20Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > For instance, “Never hit a man when he has more friends in sight than you do” is a Guy Rule. ‘Splain please? This makes no sense to me as a Guy Rule. I mean, it’s kinda common sense, but there would be plenty of Guy Rules that would over ride this. Messin’ wit ma woman, messin’ wit ma ride, messin’ wit my chilren, being a rich fuckin asshole douchbag in your face, etc spring to mind. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736.md?page=2)