# Join me in listing the Man Rules. Also the Guy Rules. Extra points for distinguishing between them. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 6, 2010, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736 "2010-11-06T21:53:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![dzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f9b8f/32.png) [@dzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dzero)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2010, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/21 "2010-11-07T01:56:32Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Don’t start up conversations with the guy at the next urinal. Guy rule. However it IS OK to ask a guy “how’s it hangin’” - as long as you don’t really want to know. Appropriate responses include: 1. Low and to the left/right. 2. Swingin’ free (i.e., he’s going commando) 3. Flyin’ without a net (see #2) ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2010, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/22 "2010-11-07T01:58:17Z")
> [@China\_Guy](#): > > ‘Splain please? This makes no sense to me as a Guy Rule. I mean, it’s kinda common sense, but there would be plenty of Guy Rules that would over ride this. Messin’ wit ma woman, messin’ wit ma ride, messin’ wit my chilren, being a rich fuckin asshole douchbag in your face, etc spring to mind. Guy Rules are entirely practical. The point of that rule is “keep control of your temper and do not start shit you can’t finish.” Also it is permissable for Guy Rule to contradict one another. Certainly the Man Rules will often contradict the Guy Rules. ETA: F’instance, a guy rule may be “If your buddy gets into a bar fight, jump in to help no matter what.” A man rule willstate, “Fuck that shit. If you have a buddy who starts fights in bars, don’t go to bars with him.” ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2010, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/23 "2010-11-07T02:28:00Z")
I get your point, but I think you could have a more clear cut guy rule as your example. Your example assumes that outnumbered equals outgunned, and real guys don’t accept that premise as absolute. Notwithstanding a guy gets bonus points for holding the high moral ground. I would posit a better example of a guy rule as “If it is cold and free, then no bitchin’ about the beer is allowed.” Your bar fight rules are dead on with the nuances betwixt the two. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2010, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/24 "2010-11-07T03:03:13Z")
> [@China\_Guy](#): > > I get your point, but I think you could have a more clear cut guy rule as your example. Your example assumes that outnumbered equals outgunned, and real guys don’t accept that premise as absolute. Notwithstanding a guy gets bonus points for holding the high moral ground. Well,of course the real bar fight rule is “Are you Chuck Norris? Batman? No? Then don’t go hitting guys in bars when you’re clearly outnumbered. And don’t give me any shit about being Superman. Superman doesn’t drink on account of being immune to alcohol.” ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2010, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/25 "2010-11-07T05:35:35Z")
> [@China\_Guy](#): > > Unhesitatingly take a bullet for your child. Guy Rule. > > Unhesitatingly take a bullet for any child. Man Rule. Unhesitatingly put a bullet in any child. Misanthrope’s Rule. Sorry. I’m an Etruscan. I love children, they taste like pork. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2010, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/26 "2010-11-07T08:14:05Z")
Man rule - If you inadvertently saw off your thumb while using a circular saw you must pick that sucker up, pack it in ice, wrap your stump up with an old t-shirt and drive yourself to the hospital. You can call your wife from the hospital to let her know where you are and what time you’ll be home for dinner. Guy rule - If you inadvertently saw off your thumb while using a circular saw you must pick that sucker up, self medicate (whiskey from the bottle), go show your friends and get one of them to drive you to the hospital. ---
**Author:** ![sitchensis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sitchensis/32/4892_2.png) [@sitchensis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sitchensis)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2010, 9:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/27 "2010-11-07T09:12:30Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally Posted by \*\*Skald the Rhymer \*\* > ETA: F’instance, a guy rule may be “If your buddy gets into a bar fight, jump in to help no matter what.” A man rule willstate, “Fuck that shit. If you have a buddy who starts fights in bars, don’t go to bars with him.” Guy rule: If your drunk obnoxious buddy gets in a fight, he deserves it, just make sure a group of friends don’t pound him into mush Man Rule: If you drunk obnoxious friend gets into a fight and a group of friends start to pound him to mush…Tag, you’re it. ---
**Author:** ![sevenwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6de8d8/32.png) [@sevenwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sevenwood)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2010, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/28 "2010-11-07T13:55:03Z")
(never mind.) ---
**Author:** ![rbroome](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/838e76/32.png) [@rbroome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rbroome)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2010, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/29 "2010-11-07T14:08:34Z")
> [@Girl\_Next\_Door](#): > > This is very educational. How would you rate this one I heard today? (Told by a man to his grown daughter as they were leaving IKEA): > > ‎"You don’t tell a man how to pack his car!" man rule. good one to. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2010, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/30 "2010-11-07T14:27:46Z")
Open doors for good-looking women and elderly ladies - Guy Rule Open doors for all women regardless of age or attraction - Man Rule ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2010, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/31 "2010-11-07T14:46:52Z")
[This website has a lot of good ones.](http://www.liquorwits.com/code.html) 1. If you’ve known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever! Unless you actually marry her. (Man) 2. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella. (Guy) 3. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest. (Guy) 4. No man shall ever keep track of, or count, the amount of beers he has had in a night. (Guy) 5. In an empty room, car, ect., a man can not ask another man if he is mad because he isn’t talking. (Guy) > [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > …it makes no allowances for a known asshole chatting up your best platonic female friend whom you are 45% in love with but have resolved never to make advances because you know she is self-destructive when it comes to men, but nevertheless you still want her to be happy and safe and thus wheny you see Benny Jargoldson whom you know for a fact cheated on his last girlfriend and the took the one before that to the emergency room after she repeatedly hit the “door” with her face and now she has a restaining order against him but nonetheless he has that bad boy thing going on that some women like for mysterious reasons. You’re required to at least warn the BPFF, **even if she will be incensed and not talk to you for a month**. Are you sure this man we’re talking about here? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2010, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/32 "2010-11-07T15:02:19Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Are you sure this man we’re talking about here? You’re missing a verb somewhere. Probably a copulative verb but I am not a mind-reader. ---
**Author:** ![enomaj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/59ef9b/32.png) [@enomaj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enomaj)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2010, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/33 "2010-11-07T16:50:17Z")
> [@Lakai](#): > > When accidental contact with another guy’s privates occurs, it is understood to be an accident and should never be commented on, ever. Guy Rule. Those GBB threesomes are tricky, eh? ---
**Author:** ![Cyningablod](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc29f/32.png) [@Cyningablod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyningablod)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2010, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/34 "2010-11-07T17:41:10Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Unless you are throwing the game so as to encourage your son or nephew. Man Rule. Never “throw games” (pretend to lose) to encourage a child. Man Rule.\* (\*Explanation: Learning to lose graciously and follow rules is as important as being encouraged. If children want a fair assessment of their athletic/gaming ability, let them play against other youngsters. If they want to _improve_ said abilities, let them play against you as an adult and take the loss [and any constructive criticism] in stride. My wife and I almost never let our daughter win at games. She never seems to mind, since to her the most important thing is the time she spends with us. And she’s learning to be a really good sport and she has a good grasp of her own abilities.) Now, since I don’t want to hijack the thread with a debate, I will say no more about this. Carry on. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Cyningablod](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc29f/32.png) [@Cyningablod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyningablod)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2010, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/35 "2010-11-07T17:45:22Z")
> [@China\_Guy](#): > > Unhesitatingly take a bullet for your child. Guy Rule. > > Unhesitatingly take a bullet for any child. Man Rule. This brought real tears to my eyes. Heartily agreed. (And I salute you, **China Guy** …or should I say, **China _Man_**.) ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2010, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/36 "2010-11-07T18:11:56Z")
> [@Cyningablod](#): > > Never “throw games” (pretend to lose) to encourage a child. Man Rule.\* The Rhymer rules say I’m supposed to threaten you with electric eels or something, but I can’t be arsed. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2010, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/37 "2010-11-07T18:54:53Z")
When on a date, never order tofu unless you’re a vegan. If you’re out with the guys, never admit to being a vegan. Guy rules. ---
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2010, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/38 "2010-11-07T19:02:26Z")
Guy rule: Never answer a question from a woman directly. You never know what she may want the information for. She: Honey, what time is it? He: Three forty-five. She: Oh good. There’s still time for you to drive me to that dress sale. Correct method follows. She: Honey, what time is it? He: Just about time for the game to start. ---
**Author:** ![Spud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spud/32/347_2.png) [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2010, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/39 "2010-11-07T19:33:19Z")
> [@Cyningablod](#): > > Never “throw games” (pretend to lose) to encourage a child. Man Rule.\* And this is the post where we discover that Cyningablod is actually Peyton Manning 🙂 https://www.youtube.com/embed/caeITRkDrtg?feature=oembed&wmode=opaque Happy wife equals happy life… Man Rule. ---
**Author:** ![Cyningablod](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc29f/32.png) [@Cyningablod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyningablod)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2010, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/40 "2010-11-07T19:55:32Z")
> [@Spud](#): > > And this is the post where we discover that Cyningablod is actually Peyton Manning 🙂 > > [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=caeITRkDrtg](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=caeITRkDrtg) > > Happy wife equals happy life… Man Rule. Actually, I’m not Peyton Manning, but I did go to school with him! We both graduated from Tennessee, and our student years mostly overlapped. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736.md?page=3)