# Join me in listing the Man Rules. Also the Guy Rules. Extra points for distinguishing between them. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 6, 2010, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736 "2010-11-06T21:53:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2010, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/41 "2010-11-07T21:02:36Z")
> [@Tethered\_Kite](#): > > Guy rule: Never answer a question from a woman directly. You never know what she may want the information for. > > She: Honey, what time is it? > He: Three forty-five. > She: Oh good. There’s still time for you to drive me to that dress sale. > > Correct method follows. > > She: Honey, what time is it? > He: Just about time for the game to start. Corollary: any statement that starts with “I think. . .” is a direct order. Don’t mistake it for anything else. Example: “I think maybe I’ll walk over to the store and get us some ice cream.” Translation: “Get off your ass and go get us some ice cream.” ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2010, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/42 "2010-11-07T21:04:57Z")
Guy rule. If you’re at a party and some other guy shows up wearing exactly the same thing, he’s your new best friend. ETA: Does this [clothing] make me look fat? Must never be answered. Walking into a door frame and knocking yourself unconsious is an acceptable diversion. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2010, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/43 "2010-11-07T21:30:09Z")
How about a manquote: “It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to, than I have ever known.” Guyquote: “Hey guys, watch this!” ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/44 "2010-11-08T00:55:15Z")
Man story: I remember when. . . Guy story: now this is no shit. . . ---
**Author:** ![Lakai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9de0a6/32.png) [@Lakai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lakai)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/45 "2010-11-08T01:24:01Z")
> [@enomaj](#): > > Those GBB threesomes are tricky, eh? What does GBB mean? ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/46 "2010-11-08T03:02:57Z")
“I won’t be wronged, I won’t be insulted, and I won’t be laid a hand on. I don’t do these things to other people and I expect the same from them.” –John Wayne in _The Shootist_ Man rules ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/47 "2010-11-08T04:50:43Z")
Guy rule: When it comes time to divide up the bill, lose the ability to do detailed math. Round up your share to the nearest $20 and through it into the pile. never show any interest in the change. Guy rule: Always keep track of whose turn it is to buy beers. Guy rule: Never tell another guy it’s his turn to pay. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/48 "2010-11-08T04:54:47Z")
> [@Mahaloth](#): > > 1. Don’t whine about how spicy-hot a food it. > > Guy rule? I think it is. Don’t whine, sure. But don’t feel compelled to eat it. – Man rule ---
**Author:** ![Rala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@Rala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rala)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/49 "2010-11-08T05:21:57Z")
> [@Mr.Excellent](#): > > Never foul another man’s attempt to chat up a member of his preferred sex **without good cause** , and assist him when it is reasonably practical to do so. (For example - “Dude, that girl was checking you out.”) This is a Man Rule and Guy Rule both - while sound practical advice (as it encourages reciprocity), it also ties into the ethical premise that all men are brothers, and should treat each other as such. (Bolding mine) > [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Can’t be a Man Rule, as it makes no allowances for a known asshole chatting up your best platonic female friend whom you are 45% in love with but have resolved never to make advances because you know she is self-destructive when it comes to men, but nevertheless you still want her to be happy and safe and thus wheny you see Benny Jargoldson whom you know for a fact cheated on his last girlfriend and the took the one before that to the emergency room after she repeatedly hit the “door” with her face and now she has a restaining order against him but nonetheless he has that bad boy thing going on that some women like for mysterious reasons. You’re required to at least warn the BPFF, **even if she will be incensed and not talk to you for a month**. Perhaps I’m missing something, but that sounds like good cause for an exception to me. ---
**Author:** ![Cyberhwk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7993a0/32.png) [@Cyberhwk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyberhwk)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/50 "2010-11-08T06:09:35Z")
**Guy Rule:** You can either tell me what to do or how to do it. Not both. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/51 "2010-11-08T06:59:13Z")
Always give your best bro-dog a reach-around when you’re loving him tenderly in his hairy, rugged ass. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/52 "2010-11-08T07:09:24Z")
> [@Lakai](#): > > What does GBB mean? Girl-Boy-Boy. ---
**Author:** ![Spud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spud/32/347_2.png) [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/53 "2010-11-08T15:07:20Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > Girl-Boy-Boy. GBB - Bad… BGG - Good (straight) man rule ---
**Author:** ![Lare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/53a042/32.png) [@Lare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lare)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/54 "2010-11-08T15:32:56Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > You’re missing a verb somewhere. Probably a copulative verb but I am not a mind-reader. No? Then it seems I have overestimated you. I was unaware of the limits of your powers. Thank the deities because you got laid–guy rule Thank the deities because you got a lasting relationship–man rule ---
**Author:** ![fjs1fs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9e8a1a/32.png) [@fjs1fs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fjs1fs)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/55 "2010-11-08T17:22:47Z")
> [@TokyoPlayer](#): > > Guy rule: When it comes time to divide up the bill, lose the ability to do detailed math. Round up your share to the nearest $20 and through it into the pile. never show any interest in the change. > > Guy rule: Always keep track of whose turn it is to buy beers. > > Guy rule: Never tell another guy it’s his turn to pay. Soon to be re-named “Broke Guy Rules.” Fuck that, if one of the guys you’re hanging with is cheap as shit and never pays his share, call him on it! ---
**Author:** ![Moment\_Slayer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Moment\_Slayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moment_Slayer)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/56 "2010-11-08T18:05:03Z")
Never check out your kid’s friends no matter what they are wearing or “how fast they grow up”. Man rule Be nice and pleasant to the in-laws. Man rule Don’t let your family torture your spouse. Man rule Give your buddies shit on the golf course. Guy rule No whining, period. Guy rule ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/57 "2010-11-08T19:24:42Z")
> [@Shoeless](#): > > Advice given to me on my wedding day: “Never call her a bitch.” File this one under “Man Rule”. “Never let her find out you called her a bitch.” File this one under “Guy Rule”. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/58 "2010-11-08T19:28:53Z")
Man rule: “Just because you look at other attractive women who are passing by, it doesn’t mean you don’t love the woman you’re with.” Guy rule: “Just because you’re with the woman you love, it doesn’t mean you don’t look at other attractive women who are passing by.” ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/59 "2010-11-08T19:30:55Z")
> [@Spud](#): > > GBB - Bad… BGG - Good (straight) man rule “A threesome means adding another woman.” Guy rule. ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736/60 "2010-11-08T19:41:45Z")
Man rule, paraphrasing Pompey the Great: “Stop quoting rules to us, we carry swords” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/join-me-in-listing-the-man-rules-also-the-guy-rules-extra-points-for-distinguishing-between-them/559736.md?page=4)