# Jokes: 10 words or shorter **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 23, 2012, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165 "2012-07-23T20:25:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![cjepson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@cjepson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cjepson)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2012, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/1 "2012-07-23T20:25:28Z")
OK, who’s got some really short jokes? (And I mean real jokes, not things like “The idea that a Republican president will reduce the deficit”.) Nothing longer than 10 words allowed!!! The shortest joke might be Henny Youngman’s “Take my wife … please.” (Although it seems like that’s just the punch line, with a set-up line preceding it.) I expect that various Tom Swifties should qualify, and maybe some knock-knock jokes (if the answer to “Who’s there?” is one word, you get three words for the punchline). Here’s my contribution: What’s the difference between parsley and pussy? Nobody eats parsley. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2012, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/2 "2012-07-23T20:33:49Z")
What’s brown and sticky? A stick. What’s a foot long and slippery? A slipper. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot. What’s invisible and smells like a carrot? Rabbit farts. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2012, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/3 "2012-07-23T20:34:41Z")
I had my wife in stitches the other day with a two-word joke, though you’d have to have some idea of how our lives are going right now to truly understand. The joke? I simply said, “I’m bored.” ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2012, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/4 "2012-07-23T22:51:37Z")
How do know a pepper is nosy? It’s jalapeño business. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Enginerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bcef8e/32.png) [@Enginerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enginerd)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2012, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/5 "2012-07-23T23:08:49Z")
What’s brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre! ---
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2012, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/6 "2012-07-23T23:15:06Z")
**Enginerd** started it… \*\* What’s the difference between Jews and canoes?\*\* Canoes tip. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2012, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/7 "2012-07-23T23:16:22Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > How do know a pepper is nosy? It’s jalapeño business. Did you really just cheat to make that one fit the rules? I admire your dedication. ETA: I realize now that it can be rewritten properly as “How do you know a pepper’s nosy?” in order to meet the word limit, so I give you full marks anyway! ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2012, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/8 "2012-07-23T23:29:10Z")
There are 10 types of people in the world: those ---
**Author:** ![Enginerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bcef8e/32.png) [@Enginerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enginerd)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2012, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/9 "2012-07-23T23:44:43Z")
> [@Farmer\_Jane](#): > > **Enginerd** started it… > > \*\* > What’s the difference between Jews and canoes?\*\* > > Canoes tip. Um… no I didn’t. Anyway… how does Snoop Doggy Dogg do his laundry? With blee-ach! ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/10 "2012-07-24T00:09:12Z")
Two peanuts walked into a bar and one was assaulted. ---
**Author:** ![Natch\_Jackson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecc23a/32.png) [@Natch\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Natch_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/11 "2012-07-24T00:12:18Z")
Knock knock. Who’s there? To. To who? No, to _whom._ ---
**Author:** ![partlycloudy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/partlycloudy/32/3114_2.png) [@partlycloudy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/partlycloudy)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/12 "2012-07-24T00:39:44Z")
I have a joke about pizza but it’s kinda cheesy. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/13 "2012-07-24T00:53:24Z")
There’s one mohel who’s paid only in tips. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/14 "2012-07-24T02:01:13Z")
Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was assaulted. ---
**Author:** ![leftfield6](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leftfield6/32/18780_2.png) [@leftfield6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leftfield6)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/15 "2012-07-24T02:04:28Z")
Horse walks into a bar. Bartender: Why the long face? ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/16 "2012-07-24T02:18:01Z")
> [@Farmer\_Jane](#): > > **Enginerd** started it… > > \*\* > What’s the difference between Jews and canoes?\*\* > > Canoes tip. Let’s stay away from antisemitic “humor,” please. No warning issued. **twickster** , MPSIMS moderator ---
**Author:** ![akennett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ee59a6/32.png) [@akennett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/akennett)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/17 "2012-07-24T03:06:50Z")
Yes, children, we should only tell jokes that Mama Twicks finds funny. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/18 "2012-07-24T03:13:00Z")
I’ve heard the same joke with Norwegians. Oh, **Sublight’s** joke from [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=173076&highlight=%22which+tyler%22)would fit. I love that one. It’s item #42, I think. ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/19 "2012-07-24T03:16:52Z")
> [@cjepson](#): > > The shortest joke might be Henny Youngman’s “Take my wife … please.” (Although it seems like that’s just the punch line, with a set-up line preceding it.) Actually, isn’t that the whole joke? A pun on “take x” when it implies “for example.” My contribution: Juneau what’s the biggest state’s capital? Dunno, but Alaska! ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/20 "2012-07-24T03:25:44Z")
Why don’t blind men skydive? It scares their dog. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165.md?page=2)